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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to complain to the school about this unfair treatment of ds3 and his friends.

31 replies

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 06/05/2011 19:23

Every year the dses senior school has something called 'Activities Week' for all the pupils in S1, S2 and S2 (the Scottish equivalent of years 8, 9 and 10). This is actually three days of activities of various sorts - some residential, including foreign trips, and other activities that are either day trips out or activities in the school. The costs of these activities range from nothing to several hundred pounds, but there is plenty of choice at the lower end, imo.

The children opt for one or other of the various activity packages, each package lasting the three days of Activity week.

Ds3, who is in S2, has come home and said that a number of the activity packages have been cancelled - either because not enough children have signed up for them, or because they can't get teachers to supervise them.

There were some vacancies for other activity packages (the less popular ones, I assume), but the children in S3 were given priority for these, as it was their last 'go' at activity week, and there are now no vacancies on any of the activities, so there are some tens of children who have nothing planned for them in those three days.

None of this has been communicated directly to the parents - a letter would have been nice, and this lack of communication is one of my complaints, but the main issue is what the school is planning to do for these children who are, through no fault of their own, being excluded from Activities Week - which is sweet FA!!

The children have been told it is a normal school day, and they will be expected to be in school as usual, where they will be sent to a classroom to revise or to do nothing at all. The only other time that children spend days like this is if they are in internal exclusion - basically all-day detention!!

So am I being unreasonable to think that this is bloody unfair on the children involved? It isn't their fault that they haven't got an activity for those three days, and basically it feels as if they are being punished.

Three days of sitting in a classroom either revising or doing nothing, when the rest of your year, and all of the year above and below are going to Barcelona, Italy, Villareal or London, or on outdoor activities like climbing, dry-slope skiing, horseriding, fishing or golf, or Theatre Production, or Accessorize (beading, jewellery making, silk painting and a photography day based on their creations).

So would I be unreasonable to write to the school and complain about this unfairness?

Tbh, I am seriously considering letting him stay home for those three days, and telling the school he is sick.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 06/05/2011 19:26

No, that's shit. They could at least get them outside playing rounders or something.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 06/05/2011 19:28

Instead of complaining, why not be slightly less confrontational and ask to see the head for a chat. Saying the things you say in your post. It's not fair on the children who, through no fault of their own, have nothing to do for 3 days while the others have fun. Ask the head to tell you why they are doing this and ask if s/he thinks that it's fair and surely there must be some other way of working it that is not so unfair.

SummerRain · 06/05/2011 19:28

that is ridiculous... surely the school should have ensured supervision and those issues when planning these days so it's their fault entirely they were cancelled.... how much trouble would it be to arrange something local and free that the remaining kids could do, or at least give them the days off fgs!

Clytaemnestra · 06/05/2011 19:28

That is really shocking. I think you need to try and sort it out with the school directly, just in case there are incorrect messages getting mixed up here but, if not I would certainly not be sending my DC into school on those days, they'll be getting a sick note and a few lovely days out with me.

Jammyrella · 06/05/2011 19:29

That is truly PANTS!

There must be something better they can do!!! Even if it is as rubbish as watching some DVDs?

girliefriend · 06/05/2011 19:29

I think you need to speak to the school directly and ask what is going on?!!! Sounds rubbish and I would be tempted to keep him off as well! What do other parents say?

onceamai · 06/05/2011 19:31

I think I would write and say you understand that x number of children now have no activities for this week and you are a little disappointed that no alternative has been arranged and wonder if there is a particular reason. I might also say something like, I understand how difficult arranging these sorts of weeks can be but it would be helpful if the children who are missing out this year could have first choice for the activities next year to make sure the system works out fairly in the end.

If you still get no joy I'd take him to Alton Towers/Thorpe Park for a couple of days. Now that might not be a bad idea - is there a theme park near you - a good one? Could you suggest a trip there for the boys who haven't got a place now - offer to help organise it.

cupofteaplease · 06/05/2011 19:32

Sounds very unfair.

heliumballoons · 06/05/2011 19:32

YANBU. That is unfair. I agree about speaking directly with the HT.

TheVeryAngryMumapillar · 06/05/2011 19:40

That is rubbish...they could EASILY arrange a nice day somewhere for those who have been left out. I would suggest that.

vj32 · 06/05/2011 19:57

I would ring and check this is really what is happening. I really doubt there will be nothing arranged and they have to do revision. I would assume they will put something on in school like sports competition/DVDs etc if they cannot get a place on any other activities.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 06/05/2011 20:01

I take the points about not being confrontational, and talking directly to the school about this, and that's what I think we will do - though maybe first contact will be a letter to the school, using some of the points from my OP. I will also check that ds3 hasn't got the wrong end of the stick about what will be provided for the children that don't have another activity.

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 06/05/2011 20:34

TheVeryAngryMumapillar

That is rubbish...they could EASILY arrange a nice day somewhere for those who have been left out.

----

You really have no idea

igggi · 06/05/2011 20:43

If the school is able to provide a teacher to cover this group of students (which they obviously have to) then they are able to provide some kind of activity for them to do - even if it has to be in school they could paint something/make something/watch a film/make a film etc.
IME the kids left behind in school are the "naughty" ones, or the ones who didn't return their forms. As you say, like an all-day detention.
I do think you need to speak to the head just to hear what's going on from the horse's mouth. You may find an alternative activity will magically appear once you phone up..

igggi · 06/05/2011 20:44

Seriously just phone the school, a letter could lie unopened until the HT gets round to it, if you phone and can't speak to the head, they can put you on to one of the deputes etc - you will get a much quicker response that way.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 06/05/2011 23:06

Iggi - in this instance it is definitely not a case of the bad children being left behind in school. The S1 children mostly got their first choices because they are the first years, and then the S3s got first dibs on the spare places that were available, as it is their last year of having Activity Week - leaving ds3's year as the one where kids didn't get places on any activities.

Tbh - if he had been naughty or hadn't handed his form in on time, I wouldn't even be considering contacting the school, because to some extent, he'd deserve it - but that is not what has happened in this case. Some kids from all three years got their first choices, then some of the activities were cancelled, and the S2s were just bottom of the heap when the limited spare places were dished out - and there just weren't enough.

OP posts:
terrystyg · 06/05/2011 23:12

I am a secondary teacher. That is way out of order and there is no way they should be able to get away with it. Haven't read much of thread but do you work outside the home? If not I think you would be well within your rights to take him out of school for one of the days and do something beneficial with him yourself, and tell them the reason and where
you are going! Fuming and can't bloody believe it!

igggi · 06/05/2011 23:23

OP I wasn't implying that was the case with your DS, I was meaning those are the only circumstances I can imagine my school keeping children in without any activity. It's out of order.

kickassangel · 06/05/2011 23:35

Surely they can at least arrange to take them swimming, out for pizza & playing outside?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 06/05/2011 23:45

Terry - if nothing constructive happens after I call the school, then I will be taking him out for the Activity Days. I have a big car, and could take him and 4 or 5 of his friends to the nearest swimming pool with flumes etc, and they could have a day there; and maybe another day ds3 and I could do some cooking together - he enjoys cooking, and we could do baking or pastry - something a bit more complicated than he's done before.

Sorry for misunderstanding your post, igggi. Smile

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 09/05/2011 09:39

To update, I rang the school and spoke to the teacher organising the week, and he told me that all the children will end up with some sort of activity.

I tackled the conversation from the standpoint that ds3 had come home with some far-fetched story about having no activity, and being shoved in a classroom with nothing to do for three days, and I'm glad I did, because it turns out that he had already expressed an interest in an activity - school based and not as 'fun' as things like swimming, golf etc, but still an organised group activity - and he failed to tell us this bit! If I had gone in all guns blazing, I would have looked like a total muppet.

Anyway, they are meeting with all the children who haven't been definitely allocated to an activity today, and they will all get put into some sort of activity before close of school today, and we will be getting a letter home.

Anyway - thankyou for the support and advice here. Smile

OP posts:
SummerRain · 09/05/2011 12:07

that;s great news SDTG..... hope he enjoys whatever activity he gets... do let us know!

Wise move taking the approach you did... I've been stung before by going in on the warpath to be told my children told me a load of nonsense and it's not fun Blush

NinkyNonker · 09/05/2011 12:34

I don't understand why they didn't reinstate one
of the cancelled activities (due to low numbers) when this came to light? They must have the staffing?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 09/05/2011 13:23

I don't understand that either, NinkyNonker, but maybe having cancelled, they couldn't get coach bookings or something. [grasping at straws emoticon] I suspect whatever activity ds3 ends up with will not be as much fun as most of them - it may be more educational than he'd like (lol) but at least it will be something.

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 10/05/2011 10:47

It gets worse. Apparently ds3 doesn't really want to do the activity he was offered, and thinks that all his friends' parents are going to let them stay off school if they are equally bored by the activities they are offered, and I should do the same. We had a huuuge meltdown from him last night when I told him that if he was given an activity, he should go to school and put up with it.

So - if he is allocated to a rather boring activity (let's say, for the sake of argument, three days of putting together a school entry for a history competition), am I being unreasonable to insist he goes to school and does it, or should I do what he thinks I should, and let him stay off?

OP posts: