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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to attend the count, when I am a candidate even if I am a nursing mother still?

83 replies

weirdbird · 05/05/2011 17:48

Basically as the subject says, bf mother with 7mth old baby, still not that keen on food, I am a candidate in todays local elections and have been told at the last min that the council do not consider it "appropriate" for me to attend with baby at the count tomorrow and he is not allowed entrance.
This means that I cannot attend as he won't take a bottle.

I understand it is not a place for children but this just seems ridiculas, they are only sat around counting the votes, but it means I can't be there to find out if I have gotten in!

It is a noisy room anyway with 100's of people talking, so its not like he is going to disturb the peace (and I would remove him if he made too much noise, but at 7mths he just likes looking around and gurgling away)

Am I being un-reasonable or is the councils Electoral Services manager.

OP posts:
Shakirasma · 05/05/2011 18:20

Fair enough weird bird.

Good luck

Shakirasma · 05/05/2011 18:20

In the election mean, not impressing baby's solids lol

Shakirasma · 05/05/2011 18:21

In the election I mean, not increasing baby's solids.

I give up!

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 05/05/2011 18:22

I would TELL them you WILL be attending (list the reasons if you have to) and also that it is discrimatory barriers such as these that discourage women.

Longtalljosie · 05/05/2011 18:27

What NormanTebbit said. It's not like a library. There will be one room where people are doing the counting and everyone else will be milling around, occasionally popping in to see how things are going. It's noisy - people will be talking, cheering, being rude to the other candidates, giving media interviews etc.

BellsaRinging · 05/05/2011 18:29

Just go! He has no authority to stop you-what about the Equality Act? I'm sure my sister did the same at her last count (though was in Scotland).

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/05/2011 18:29

Pfft... I use this face Hmm for hmm rather than aggressively. I couldn't see how BF'ing isn't relevant because, if the baby doesn't eat food then how is the OP going to manage if she is elected? OP in a later post says that in a month this won't be a problem, so not an issue then.

OP says that only candidates and agents are allowed so why, with that restriction across the board, are posters telling OP to do it anyway and take a journalist/call the papers... what for?

Many of us have had babies but there are some places they just can't/shouldn't go and many of us make other provisions for them for that reason, for consideration of the baby and consideration of everybody else.

lynehamrose · 05/05/2011 18:39

I can see that its not an appropriate place for children, so its a blanket rule.
Tbh at 7 months I would encourage the child to drink from a cup- its very limiting if they refuse to drink from anything else. Apart from anything else, if you are successful in getting elected, if your baby wakes at home, thirsty, while you're in an evening meeting, then he will remain thirsty until you're home. With the summer approaching thats not a nice scenario

clitorisorclitoraint · 05/05/2011 18:40

OP, can you not express?

Groovee · 05/05/2011 18:43

Can you not have someone look after him outside of the count?

MotherSnacker · 05/05/2011 18:45

YANBU.

LeninGrad · 05/05/2011 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lynehamrose · 05/05/2011 18:50

Thats also a Good idea groovee. Organise a babysitter/ 'childminder who can just call you if baby wants feeding. I don't think this needs to become a 'breastfeeding rights' issue- just an issue of organising appropriate care for your children when you want to attend somewhere that they can't

lynehamrose · 05/05/2011 18:52

Lenin - in fairness there are all sorts of places where it isn't appropriate to take your baby- work, the theatre, a noisy rock concert... It doesn't mean the baby isn't a part of society.

keepingupwiththejoneses · 05/05/2011 18:53

If it is being said due to the breastfeeding I would quote the Equality act 2010 which specifies a mother must not be refused the option of bf her baby in public.

LeninGrad · 05/05/2011 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chelstonmum · 05/05/2011 18:57

I would love to know what local authority is organising the count as I would gladly email and question their 'rules'. Never before have I known of a count where only the candidate and election agent were allowed, what nonsense. As a member of a very involved political family I have attended counts (and luckily celebrated the victories of loved ones) since the age of 15.

Many candidates have taken kids over the years and th eop seems sensible enough that should the baby create a fuss she would step outside until the baby was calmer. Email the returning officer and ask if it is simply frowned upon or banned? If it is banned then ask why and on what legal basis..... you need to be able to stand up for yourself if you plan to represent the public!

Good luck.

lynehamrose · 05/05/2011 18:59

I doubt it's anything to do with that. Isn't there a rule that only candidates are allowed in for the count? It could get tricky if people starting using the 'right to bf' argument, as some Children are bf up to 5 years or more. The rules are there for a reason, and don't preclude the op feeding- as others have suggested, she could arrange childcare and agree to be called in the event of the child needing a feed. At a push, if the op is militant about the bf issue they may allow the baby to be brought in if it needs feeding so she doesn't miss any of the count, but its fair enough to expect care to be arranged

lynehamrose · 05/05/2011 19:04

Actually how about asking, op, if the baby can be brought into you in the event of needing feeding? That seems a really sensible solution. You aren't denied access to any of the count then. And tbh a 7 month old is for the majority of the day NOT going to be feeding so we're talking about pockets of time with the child being looked after by the childminder the rest of the time. If the count is anticipated to go on most of the day, it seems a bit unfair to expect a 7 month old inquisitive baby to sit quietly in a pushchair all day apart from anything else

Original poster
weirdbird · 05/05/2011 19:09

lynehamrose - The problem is though that I don't have a childminder to leave him with, and how exactly would I find one between now and 9am tomorrow, who has no other children to look after that they could do that?

chelstonmum - I have asked to have it in writing that he cannot attend with me and I am planning to challenge it!

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 05/05/2011 19:10

For the posters suggesting that the OP gets her baby to use a bottle or a cup - that's all well and good, but I can't imagine she's going to be able to do that overnight.

lynehamrose · 05/05/2011 19:15

Agree fliss - but she would be wise to think ahead, as if the baby gets thirsty when she's at an evening meeting, it's not very nice.

Op - can you not use the childminder your older children are going to, or are they up to their quota? Its difficult this time round, but I think I would book all the children in with childcare for future situations

Original poster
weirdbird · 05/05/2011 19:20

One is at school the other is at Nursery

OP posts:
EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 05/05/2011 19:24

weirdbird I feel sure they can't stop you from taking your baby with you, but I can't find anything to back that up. Maybe I am using the wrong search terms. Worth posting in legal?

lynehamrose · 05/05/2011 19:26

You said you'd arranged childcare for the older ones so I assumed you'd meant especially for the count, not their regular routine. Ok- what about the childminder you're using for before and after school? If the count goes on all day, you must have childcare in place for when they finish nursery and school- unless you were planning on disappearing at 3 pm and maybe missing a crucial moment! Could that childminder have the baby? Incidentally, how were you planning to occupy your child all day? I'm thinking of mine at 7 months, who were very vocal, chattering and shuffling around and in one case cruising the furniture. Its a long time to keep a child contained indoors