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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

more of a WWYD or should i get my nose out...?

64 replies

FurKnickersAndNoCoat · 05/05/2011 11:37

we live on a fairly busy street just off a busy main road, on the main road about 100 yards up is the primary school. can see the playground if i sort of hang out of bedroom window at precarious angle - just to give you an idea of distance - takes us about 4 mins to walk there. there is a woman who parks on our street every day to drop her eldest off at school. she has 4 other kids, a set of twins who look to be around 4, a boy who is 3 ish and a baby who i think she had about 7/8 weeks ago. she takes twins with her and takes eldest to school and leaves 3yo and baby in car while she does this. it makes me so uncomfortable and pissed off tbh when she does this. she is probably gone for about 10 minutes at the maximum. i am finding myself hanging around by the car until i see her crossing the road coming back to the kids. she is out of order isn't she or am i being totally precious? would you do anything/say anything?? has been bugging me for weeks...

OP posts:

HalfPastWine · 05/05/2011 13:34

constantlywrong I'm not gonna flame you, I agree! :)

mangle · 05/05/2011 13:36

Leave a friendly note, at least it will make her think about her actions. I understand it must be very hard to ferry 5 children back and forward but its illegal for a reason! Look what happened to Madeline Mc Cann - her parents would do anything to turn back the clock. Leaving them in the car is just as bad as leaving them home alone. You are concerned because you know its not right. Also these mums that are saying they do it to go to the shop.... the truth is that they are being lazy! I dont want to get both my children out of the car (and often wake them) but i do it because its the right thing to do!

Id leave a note saying that your not some nosey busy body but a concerned mum. You appreciate that it must be a real struggle to get 5 across the road but that the baby often cries and you would never forgive yourself if they were snatched.... That should put the fear of god into her and make her take all five across the road. Don't get me wrong I sympathise with her but its something she has to do!

mouseanon · 05/05/2011 13:58

soggy14 I'm no great fan of parenting manuals or supernanny. My children are not difficult, nor are they perfect.

I still think a 3 yo likely to do a runner is safer strapped into a buggy, and with an adult, is safer than one left in a car to potentially escape and run into the road. Surely the more badly behaved the child is the less responsible it is to leave them in that situation, especially with a baby in the car too! What if the 3yo decided to release the handbrake?

amberleaf · 05/05/2011 14:13

I wouldnt do it tbh.

Lots of people have several small children and manage perfectly fine.

There were 3 cases where i used to live of cars being stolen with children/ a baby still in them! one was a car jacking so in no way the parents fault but the other two were when a parent [and in one case a childminder!!] had left the children while they went into school to drop off.

Its lazy careless parenting.

HellNoSayItAintSo · 05/05/2011 14:19

something crawl up your arse and die dearie?

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 05/05/2011 14:25

Message deleted by Mumsnet

MissVerinder · 05/05/2011 14:27

can the eldest not walk into school himself while mum watches from the car? If the twins are 4, then he's got to be about 5? If it's a short distance to the gate?

HeadfirstForHalos · 05/05/2011 14:29

Soggy, my 2 middle dc are autistic and one of them was a runner from walking until almost 4, I've just had to learn how to manage because I've had to- I have nobody else to do the school run!

Admittedly my eldest is a doddle, as are my friends dc- they are almost stepford children they are so well behaved!

Rhinestone · 05/05/2011 14:31

I would take the registration number and report it to the police.

yoshiLunk · 05/05/2011 14:36

It is just wrong to leave an infant and a toddler in the car alone for this time.

You have that many children you should come up with a strategy to get them about safely, you have to.

What she's doing is pure laziness IMO, she should get up and out earlier, get the lot of them out of the car and safely to and fro. Yes, it is no doubt a pain in the neck and would be a military operation but it's just got to be done, anything else is plain lazy and stupid.

gkys · 05/05/2011 15:15

OP I agree its not on, why don't you older to take the older ones into school for her? i do the same thing for one of the new moms at school

Insomnia11 · 05/05/2011 15:22

I left my 1 year old in a car asleep while I popped into Sainsbury's with my 5 year old, and I do mean popped, and it wasn't a hot day. Glad there weren't MNers around of the reactionary fruitloop variety around to report me to the police on that day.

itsabiggywhatdoidonow · 05/05/2011 15:46

I would report it to the school tbh. A childminder dropping off at dds school would do this. I handed registration no into office and explained that she was leaving children in the car. I assume they had a word as the following she was no longer doing it.

Frankly if you cant manage so many kids dont bloody have them.

itsabiggywhatdoidonow · 05/05/2011 15:55

why should op offer to help this woman? I dont understand why so many people think she should

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