To be irritated by this breastfeeding advice

[FeelLikeTweedleDee]

I've been breastfeeding my baby for 9 months. Last month I joked on my facebook status that I'd been pumping then using my hands to express and now had friction burns on my boobs. An old school friend (who now works as a breastfeeding advisor in a horpital) commented: "Don't bother using your hands hun. The pump will get it all out".

I ignored her comment as it's bollocks. The pump does not get all the milk out. I often get as much as 3 extra ounces with hand expressing after pumping.

A few days ago I saw that this person had posted on a facebook breastfeeding group about how she failed to breastfeed her first two children but she wants to succeed with the third baby she is currently pregnant with. I was fuming. She failed to breastfeed her children and yet she's advising me, a successful, experienced breastfeeder?? Worse still, she is paid to give this advise to vulnerable new mums on postnatal wards??

No wonder our breastfeeding success rates are worefully low when people like this are being employed as breastfeeding consultants!!

I think you should have to had breastfed for at least 6 months to qualify as a breastfeeding consultant. I realise this will dramatically reduce the amount of breastfeeding consultants but imo no advice is better than dangerous false advice!

FeelLikeTweedleDee "should someone who thinks that the breastpump gets all the milk be a breastfeeding advisor?"

Well, yes quite frankly, if she went through the application process and was successful at getting the job. It sounds to me as if she interpreted your update as a moan (easily done) and was trying to offer helpful words of encouragement in her area of expertise.

Walk a mile in her shoes - your old friend has given herself painful friction burns squeezing every last drop of milk out of her breasts, she has a young baby and feels so desperate she has been driven to telling all her fb friends - this could easily be misinterpreted as a cry for help. As a bf advisor, what kind of person would she be if she kept schtum and let you get on with rubbing your own boobs raw?

She probably knows that it's not true but she will spend most of her day advising women who are struggling like hell with this stuff. Her job is to try to get those women to give themselves a break. That's what she was trying to do for you.

You, on the other hand, have declared to the world that she is unfit to do her job because she hasn't managed to bf her own children. I pretty sure that can't be misinterpreted and frankly is nasty.

...sigh...and I tried so hard not to get dragged in...

For the record I certainly didn't find breastfeeding a doddle. I had several cases of thrush in the breast and some supply scares. I hated breastfeeding for the first 4 months but I did it out of duty to my baby. My mumsnet history shows this.

megadixels, would you not class someone who has breastfed for 9+ months a successful breastfeeder? What is your threshold for success? 1 year? 2?

Funny - you come across as quite a bitter old cow who has nothing nice to say to pretty much anyone. Regarding the facebook status (which you seem to be fixated on) - my friends like TMI humour. You're not on myh friends list so what's your problem with it?

The real issue here is:

Someone is being paid to give potentially damaging advice to new mums.

But of course, you focus on my frigging facebook status.

Trinity - I didn't say "I am extrememly experienced". I said experienced. Why mis-quote me?

And here lies the problem with bloody Facebook - someone makes a joke, someone make a harmless comment back and then it is either taken out of context, or read in a way it wasn't meant, etc etc etc............

Does it actually matter OP? You can express milk with your hands and are quite happy doing so - does sit matter what someone else thinks/says/does?

And how is it potentially damaging to not get every last drop of milk out?

FB seems to turn fully grown people back into a bunch of 12 year olds with all this 'he said, she said' business and things get misconstrued so quickly. The sooner people get back to real life conversations the better ( and I DO get the irony of me saying that while posting on an internet forum)

D0G - some of us have to express, or would you prefer topping up with formula?

And to say the pump gets all the milk out is one of the worst things you can say to a first timer. The pump does not get what the baby gets. If I believed her advice I would have been scared out of my mind at the amount of ounces I was seemingly producing.

A lot of mothers who produce little via pump go on to give up breastfeeding because they assume (wrongly in most cases) that they have poor supply.

This situation is made worse by 'advisors' such as this person.

valium - I'm glad we're getting to the bottom of this now. To answer your question: it wouldn't normally matter if one of my friends gives dodgy advice to me, but because she is paid to give the same dodgy advice to vulnerable new mothers, then yes, I think it matters a great deal.

I have explained in my post above how her advice could be potentially damaging (re: false assumption of supply).

see this how people become evil MILs.
They assume that because they are an expert in feeding/weaning/potty-training their own child this makes them some kind of expert.

Congratulations on being a successul bfer. But don't for a minute assume that this makes you an expert. One thing that mn has taught me is quite how little I know about dealing with any children that are not mine.

Be careful as to how you use Facebook. Think: would I say this outloud in a shop or other public place. If not, don't post it.

Also, don't post on Facebook expecting everyone to agree or sympathise with you or your opinion. Facebook can cause falling outs which frankly, could have been avoided by more considerate typing/posting.

I think YABU. You are way too sensitive on the matter and too harsh on your 'friend'.

Flying - I would say it aloud to my friends. Why is everyone here obsessing over my friction-burn status? haha. Facebook is private between friends. If you don't share my sense of humour you're probably not on my friends list so what's the issue?

I think some people must get a kick out of trying to divert the topic of people's posts.

D0G - the expert comment is relative. I am one compared to her. Looks like I've pushed a lot of people buttons on this thread. BFing is a touchy subject and can be triggering. If someone is proud to have overcome their hardships to sucessfully breastfeed their child they are ridiculed and snarled at.

well, well, well Tweedle you certainly have a huge ammount in common with Little Amy, including your foul mouth. I suspect a nerve has been touched...................

amount of course........

I'm finding it hard, where her comment is not correct, its just another way of expressing, I'm also finding it difficult to understand you're logic, that you're better than her because she didn't succeed in BF. I think you're quite twisted actually, she won't damage breastfeeding by saying not to use you're hands, nor is she giving incorrect advice, is just a different way of method to express milk

Oh well look at that, you asked me a direct question, I replied politely, rationally and I believe negated your whole argument and then you blank me. Hhhmmmm this thread is not what I first thought it was.

And no, I have not been triggered - there's nothing to trigger.

No-one has ridiculed your successful bf journey - in fact, no-one has ridiculed you at all. You're superiority has however been, quite rightly, snarled at.