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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by this breastfeeding advice

66 replies

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 03/05/2011 21:33

I've been breastfeeding my baby for 9 months. Last month I joked on my facebook status that I'd been pumping then using my hands to express and now had friction burns on my boobs. An old school friend (who now works as a breastfeeding advisor in a horpital) commented: "Don't bother using your hands hun. The pump will get it all out".

I ignored her comment as it's bollocks. The pump does not get all the milk out. I often get as much as 3 extra ounces with hand expressing after pumping.

A few days ago I saw that this person had posted on a facebook breastfeeding group about how she failed to breastfeed her first two children but she wants to succeed with the third baby she is currently pregnant with. I was fuming. She failed to breastfeed her children and yet she's advising me, a successful, experienced breastfeeder?? Worse still, she is paid to give this advise to vulnerable new mums on postnatal wards??

No wonder our breastfeeding success rates are worefully low when people like this are being employed as breastfeeding consultants!!

I think you should have to had breastfed for at least 6 months to qualify as a breastfeeding consultant. I realise this will dramatically reduce the amount of breastfeeding consultants but imo no advice is better than dangerous false advice!

OP posts:
D0G · 03/05/2011 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 03/05/2011 22:12

I presume this woman has some sort of background that got her the job.

Should midwives have also given birth before they can advise on childbirth?

I think NCT breastfeeding councilors do have to have breastfed a baby for 6 months. but, I wouldn't say that makes someone an a particularly experienced breast feeder.

LynetteScavo · 03/05/2011 22:13

Grin @ DOG

MayDayChild · 03/05/2011 22:14

Nct insist on 6 months feeding to be a counsellor

GooseberryFool · 03/05/2011 22:14

DOG I'd love to hear about your piles. Mine are kind of tangy at the moment and I very much fear an outbreak of rebellion any day now.

buggerlugs82 · 03/05/2011 22:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

pigletmania · 03/05/2011 22:19

oh you must have a small number of people on your FB, I have loads Grin

vmcd28 · 03/05/2011 22:20

needanewfocus - how did you even know it's the same poster from months back? I have a few posters who I've discussed things with, but would have no clue if they name changed. And why the hell would you call them by their old name when they clearly didn't want anyone to know their old name......and THEN explain to EVERYONE why you called them a different name, instead of saying "oh, sorry, I'd been posting on another thread and got the names mixed up" or something.

fearnelinen · 03/05/2011 22:20

WTF? Is it a general acceptance that to be a BF advisor you need successful BF experience?! I've never heard such shite. How do you define successful btw - does baby have to submit a reference stating that the experience was pleasurable?

I mean seriously. Having sent a total of 12 months on NICU and SCBU wards, expressing milk every 2 hours, and feeding babies by teaspoon-fulls, there is nothing that I don't know about bf'ing. Yet the sanctimonious 'experts' have all told me I was unsuccesful - longest I managed was 8 weeks - thats expressing every 2 hours, 24, 7.

I know all about it because I can read, am intelligent, in fact could probably write 10,000 words on the very subject. And I can promise one thing, my advice would be a lot more well-rounded and empathetic than the 'successful' bf'er who begins every sentence with "What I would do is..."

Original poster
FeelLikeTweedleDee · 03/05/2011 22:28

needanewfocus - if you were due in july then we were deffo due at the same time (you can tell that from the fact that my baby is 9 months) but I've only ever used this name (the name is actually how I felt when I was pregnant last time).

OP posts:
Original poster
FeelLikeTweedleDee · 03/05/2011 22:29

gooseberry - only people on my friends list see my updates, so hardly updating the world. Nice deviation from the thrtead topic btw. SPAM.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 03/05/2011 22:30

fearne actually LLL will accept mothers who haven't fed their babies directly.
i have a friend who is an LLL leader who only ever expressed milk for her baby as she had a cleft palate.
she (and you) are successful breastfeeders IMO!

Original poster
FeelLikeTweedleDee · 03/05/2011 22:32

fearnelinen - should someone who thinks that the breastpump gets all the milk be a breastfeeding advisor?

OP posts:
FunnysInTheGarden · 03/05/2011 22:34

is this really Little Amy? Well I never. Helllllllooooo, how are you getting on............?

Original poster
FeelLikeTweedleDee · 03/05/2011 22:34

ok you guys obviously think I'm a troll

OP posts:
underyourhat · 03/05/2011 22:35

Wow.

You sense of superiority is astounding.

I've no doubt your friend was just trying to be nice and helpful as you were complaining about your burns. She means well. She was not being nasty, or rude. Maybe her advice doesn't work for you. Everyone is different - I couldn't get anything out by hand-expressing and lord I tried. I wish someone had told me to get a pump earlier.

So just disregard her comment. There is really no need to get so worked up or be nasty about it.

FunnysInTheGarden · 03/05/2011 22:37

Oh no, not a troll. LA was an astounding poster. Unsurpassed for her ignorance and lack of self awareness.

MercurySoccer · 03/05/2011 22:37

Well said fearne. I'd have preferred advice from those who had experienced difficulties themselves, than those who found it extremely easy and expected others to be as lucky.

buggerlugs82 · 03/05/2011 22:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

Tryharder · 03/05/2011 22:39

I can see why you might be a bit pissed off but I think the best bf counsellors are those who found bf difficult and have had to work through problems. If you find BF a doddle, then you cannot really empathise with someone who is struggling.

She was probably only trying to say something positive to you as you had moaned about the friction burns. Smile

megapixels · 03/05/2011 22:40

Sounds like she was just trying to be helpful. You don't have to take her advice, she was only doing it as a friend - not in a professional capacity.

Also, in the nicest way possible, you need to get over yourself a little. All this "she's advicing me, a successful, experienced breastfeeder" sounds quite narcissistic. I have breastfed for much longer than you, doesn't mean I think I have nothing to learn from someone like you.

kickingking · 03/05/2011 22:41

I think she meant it as friendly advice. Maybe in her (limited) experience the pump did get it all out?

It's not the sort of thing I would put on FB though, I dread to think of the comments I might get!

FunnysInTheGarden · 03/05/2011 22:41

anyhoo, troll or not, posting your expressing status on FB is naff mc naff

megapixels · 03/05/2011 22:41

advising

TrinityRhino · 03/05/2011 22:46

you need to chill

she was just thinking of someting to post

I mean she is talking bollocks but I dont think you need to waste anymore thought on it

'I am an extrememly experienced bre.'....ooooh no I cant say it , you did sound silly saying that Grin

I have to ask when do you become successful, accomplished etc bf'der?

I'm 3 kids and 6 years 2 months of a breastfeeder, do I pass?