AIBU to ignore DS2's dramatic sighs.

[TheOriginalFAB]

He ate his tea and only the butter cream from his pudding.

He says he is hungry (less than 1 hour since tea was finished).

Have offered him a banana. He says he doesn't like them (he does). He wants biscuits (crackers he means).

DH and MIL say if they are really hungry they will eat fruit or bread and butter.

I am going to offer milk in a minute but need to wait until the sighs stop so he doesn't think they have worked.

The sighs are quite funny but I do feel mean.

It gets a bit annoying as they have too much choice with food but I know that is my fault as I love to cook and food my family (I was not fed as a child very often and certainly never given a choice.)

How old is he? Perhaps when he says he is hungry offer him a choice then, i.e. would you like banana or bread and butter? Then stick to those choices. He still has some control then over what he has, but isn't quite getting to decide properly. I have to say, I do agree with your DH and MIL!

He is 5.

I usually offer a choice of 2 things but 99% of the time he comes up with a third option .

YANBU, your DH and MIL are right - hungry children happily eat something they have eaten before.

Yeahhh ,my five year old does that. I'm mean, I give him a choice of toast, or toast.

If you have more than one type of fruit available then that is at least 3 options, I agree that if he is hungry he will have one of them.

How old is he?

I wish a dramatic sigh was all my kids do when hungry - I get the full gamut of heartrending accusations that I am a terrible mother, starving my children etc

If they didn't eat all their dinner, it is a selection of fruit/ toast/ bread. If they ate all their dinner they get a bigger choice. I don;t think crackers is a terrible thing to offer ... and I think their little tummies need fil;ling more often than an adult's might.

They get short shrift if they ask for food right at bedtime, though - too late!

I wouldn't give in to him. He's trying to control you by the sound of it.

If you gave him enough tea and he ate it all (he doesn't need pudding) then fruit would probably be best if he's hungry.

I love cooking too but I constantly tell my children I'm not running a restaurant here.

xpost

Oh does it sound like this?

UUUUURRRRGH UUUUURRRRGH UUUURRRRGH UUUUUUUURRRRRRRGH! UUUUUUUURRRRRRRRGH!!!!

And you are supposed to say 'oh, what's the matter darling? Would you like some ice cream?'

Yes, my ds does that too. But I have to guess what his problem is, he never tells me. Oh no, that would make it far too easy.

DS 6yo has started this.

Refusing food he always eats as 'he doesn't like it'. Last night it was chicken kiev (which he ate last week). He wouldn't even try it and was told try it or nothing else. He ate the mash and veg. Then went on about being hungry all evening - with the over dramatic sighs!!

He can have fruit without asking from the bowl - provided he eats his meal.

Mindyou he has started the over dranatic sighs and bottom lip pouts to everything. I distract now by doing the bbbbbbrrrrrrrrrr thing on his bottom lip with the voice of speaking to a baby, something like 'oh diddums, did you not get what you wanted, poor DS'

I will add though from about the age of 5 DS has been through stages of being extra hungry - usually before a growth spurt. I will let him have a bowl of weetabix minis at 6.30/7ish if he's eaten his dinner. He sleeps better/longer if he has the cereal so I do think he is hungry iyswim.

DH is getting a tad fed up with the kids as he feels supper has turned into a second tea and in the case of DD it is usually wanted because she didn't eat her proper tea.

Well only you can change that by not offering a second tea.

Serve dinner later?

if he ate his tea, and some pudding then what's wrong with having some crackers?

Trouble is fruit makes me more hungry because of the acid!

Crackers probably better as carbs help you sleep.

He has brains beyond his years!

maybe he is going through a growth spurt?
my lot always want tons to eat when they are growing.

A second tea is not offered.

Crackers are fine - it was the fact it was minutes after tea and he refused fruit so I felt he couldn't be that hungry.

Constant growth spurts here if food intake is anything to go by.

They have a snack when they come out of school and tea has gradually got later as it used to be 4 o'clock. I try and get it nearer to 5 now.

DH is getting a tad fed up with the kids as he feels supper has turned into a second tea and in the case of DD it is usually wanted because she didn't eat her proper tea

What I mean is, only you can stop offering her a 'second tea' type supper if she hasn't eaten her proper tea.

Perhaps you could try cutting out the snack when they get in from school.

FAB - I still think 5 is early for dinner/tea by the time they are that age...but that's not what you were asking :)

I don't see why he wasn't allowed crackers as he'd eaten his dinner, I don't always feel like fruit when I'm hungry either - sometimes you want carbs.

As for DD - she needs to learn that if she doesn't eat her dinner then there is nothing after and goes to bed 'hungry' - it wont kill her for a few nights.

Haven't you got the rest of the pudding to give back to him? If not I would keep it next time he leaves a pudding and then you can just say 'you won't be hungry if you finish your pudding'. My rule of thumb is that if you are fussy you are not really hungry.

Do you really think 5 is early for 5, 7 and 10 year olds? The youngest goes to bed at 7 so I wouldn't want to do it too much later as there is homework and reading to fit in as well.

I do have issues with them going to bed hungry as I remember most of my childhood being starving, but I know that is not the same as my kids feeling a bit hungry.

I nearly did keep the pudding to give back to him.

The snack after school was to buy me some time to make their tea and hopefully stop any stroppiness through hunger. My 5 year old has lunch at 11.45 so it is a few hours to wait without anything if he doesn't want the fruit option at 3pm.

If they don't have the after school snack they would want their tea even earlier ime.

Funny, I meant to post a light hearted thread but now I need to rethink my feeding issues/routines .

What's up with crackers? I don't think 5 is early...I have begun to have my 6 and 3 year old's tea ready at 4.00...otherwise they are starving and nag me for fruit, toast etc and then won't eat their tea at 5.00.

They go in the bath at 6.30 and are having a story by 7.30....then the older one can read alone in bed if she likes until 8.00.
After tea at 4.00 she often get hungry again and so after bath she sometimes has breadsticks and fruit and milk. She sleeps 12 hours a night!

If I am serving an "unpopular" meal I push back the meal time up to an hour. Much less fuss upon arrival at the table I find. I am changing meal times a bit anyway, they are 8 and 4 now so can eat a little bit later.

Nothing wrong with crackers, as I have said the issue was whinging for food not long after tea.

ok, but if he's hungry what's the problem?

it isn't like he's asking for sweets and stuff, and crackers are probably better teeth-wise than fruit
i think we need to trust when our children tell us they are hungry, otherwise they don't learn to regulate their appetites

it would be different if he had eaten no dinner, and then complained about being hungry, but he did eat it, and a little bit of pudding...
if he's hungry let him eat