AIBU to ignore DS2's dramatic sighs.

[TheOriginalFAB]

He ate his tea and only the butter cream from his pudding.

He says he is hungry (less than 1 hour since tea was finished).

Have offered him a banana. He says he doesn't like them (he does). He wants biscuits (crackers he means).

DH and MIL say if they are really hungry they will eat fruit or bread and butter.

I am going to offer milk in a minute but need to wait until the sighs stop so he doesn't think they have worked.

The sighs are quite funny but I do feel mean.

It gets a bit annoying as they have too much choice with food but I know that is my fault as I love to cook and food my family (I was not fed as a child very often and certainly never given a choice.)

sorry, have re-read that and it sounds a bit harsh, but i didn't mean it like that!

i don't think 5 is too early, my lot eat around then and it seems ok, different things work for different kids
I think it's fine to offer a few things as snacks, but if they come up with an alternative that you think is ok (ie crackers) then it's ok to let them have that instead isn't it?

I suppose I couldn't believe he was hungry so soon after tea.

I need to be careful as I have food issues and don't want to give the kids them, albeit different ones.

My MIL does this constant searching for something which might satisfy her "little boy's" craving.... He's a fully grown adult and it's her fault he's so bloody fussy.

If DS is truly hungry, he'll eat what's on offer. If he doesn't want it, he's not hungry, he's just developing really bad snacking habits.

One way to solve this - we just don't have any snacks in the house now. What's on offer is what's on the menu. Ignore the dramatic sighs.

I think what you did was fine. After a meal with pudding offering fruit is just the right thing I would say. It's a really healthy habit to get into, I think - after dinner, any snacks are fruit only. Sounds very sensible to me.
I wonder as well though as others have said, whether you could give a slightly more substantial snack as soon as they get in, and then serve dinner at around 6.
There would just be less time for them to work up any appetite before bed, perhaps?!

I can't see them lasting until 6 for tea and tbh the amount of time he takes it would be time for bath and bed pretty much as soon as he was finished. Wouldn't that be too late?

i think you're sensible FAB. it is hard when you have food issues yourself

i think that if they've eaten a decent dinner, then you can allow snacking afterwards!
i don't tend to worry about whether they've eaten pudding or not tbh, because it's more of a "treat" it wouldn't bother me if they didn't eat that but then wanted something healthier later iyswim?

I think as long as the snacks you are offering are healthy snacks then you can't go too far wrong.
as I say, I might take more issue iwth them NOT eating dinner and then wanting snacks, but i'm all for keeping dinner and re-heating it cos i am mean like that

I have never been called sensible on here before .

I will admit I am stupid though as I am so determined that the kids will have a good diet that I think some things are wrong/bad when they are probably not.

Seems so obvious now. They eat their tea then snacks an hour later is fine. DD has always had an issue with food since I started her on solids. She used to eat when she was hungry - not by the clock - and stop when she was full. Lately though she has been very very fussy and it is frustrating that she says she is hungry at bedtime when she wouldn't eat her tea. She then makes a big fuss if I ask her if she wants pudding "I am not allowed, I didn't eat my dinner." I am trying not to make an issue but it used to be not enough dinner eaten = only one pudding, ie fruit/yogurt only rather than f/y and a piece of cake. She changes all the time what won't eat .

I need to buy the dummies guide to food.

FAB - I think it's really important to do your best not to over-ride the 'eats when hungry, doesn't when isn't' button - but it's not easy to do when you have 3 kids without feeling like you are running a bloody restaurant. It's a hard thing to balance.... I would probably let DD have a snack when she comes home if she wants it then serve dinner - if she doesn't want it fine - it's there for later (cold or reheated) and DS as long as what he's eating is 'healthy' then I'd let him eat when he's hungry too. If you think he's just grazing from boredom/habit make the options 'boring'.

All you can do is your best :)

We all eat together at about 5pm and then kids will have something straight after as pudding and then toast or cereal etc later on before bed. They also have a snack straight from school if they want one. ds1 seems to regulate his eating really well, but ds2 is like me and can eat for any reason not necessarily because of hunger so have to keep an eye on him.

A 5pm tea suits us all well as I often go out at 6pm to work and DH has been out to work since 5am so is hungry when he comes home.

Well after all that the kids won't get their tea until 6.15pm. They are hungry and have told me so several times but they had a piece of cake at 3.40 and then we had to go to an appointment and due to that starting late and then having to get some stuff at the chemist, here we are with a later tea.

My son is 17 and has always had his dinner when he gets home - today that was 20 to 5. That is the latest he has his proper dinner, he will be hungry again at around 9 and I shall cook him pizza.

To be fair to him he eats nothing else all day. Even when they were younger they always ate at around 5.30 when I got in from work.

7/8pm meals are for adults not children.

And 17 is an adult, not a child!

If he is hungry again at 9pm, let him cook his own pizza!

I would say that at 17 he is fully capable of cooking for himself and choosing when to eat!