Please help. I am aware this may end up in 'Classics' but going to risk it.

[bananasinpjamas]

I have terrible trapped wind at the moment. Stomach making awful noises, when i burp it feels more like a hiccup and BLOODY HURTS. Stomach vv. bloated and I can feel the bubbles. I have an important day tomorrow so need a good nights sleep.

I have tried (dont have any meds, dont drive):

• Boiling water with bicarb

• sticking a*se in the air head near floor

• walking about

• step ups

• standing up

• sitting up straight

• lieing on left side with head raised

• lying down with legs /\\

• hot bath

ALL TO NO AVAIL. DOESNT WORK. DON'T HAVE PEPPERMINT TEA IN. PLEASE PEOPLE, HELP ME!

there is a position

sit back on your heels

then stretch your arms out forward with your palms flat on the ground so your botty bot bot bot is raised

good luck

The thing I alway find most disappointing about trapped wind is that you always hope you'll get the enormous relief of the most gigantic loud and long fart ever heard on earth. It never comes though.

rennie deflatine

at you lot with your patent fart positions.

jesus christ, is bananas OK? Did she fart, burp, or just explode? UPDATE PLEEEEAASE!!

Bananas are you ok or have you gassed yourself?

Sit on the toilet with your feet up on the seat. (so crouching position)

Drink a glass of water very fast - it puts pressure on the wind and use a hot water bottle.
Wiggle about a bit and the wind should release and try 'pushing' too.
You don't have to do this on the toilet but you relax more as know follow through will be contained.

If that fails lay in bath with legs up on the wall and hot shower bearing down on your tummy.

IBS sufferer.

Hope your OK - I know its really painful. I was in hospital having an op once when someone was admitted with suspected gallstones. - She had wind.

Is it out yet, OP!

OP is still circling the ceiling on a stream of jet-propelled methane

Or has flown out of the conservatory a la Aunt Marge. She will be found circling a chimney in Sheffield

Hope she managed to tie something round her ankle before blast off!!!!

have pulled actual muscles in chest from laughing so hard at this thread. wipes eyes

Hope OP is ok. Maybe she chanced upon my technique: lie on back, roll up into a shoulderstand and back down several times (keep moving).

Lots of you are advising bum in the air type positions.

surely you need your bum in the downward position? Gravity etc?

Coffee enema??

GoodnightNobody - Methane is lighter than air I believe - so the fart-bound should poke their bum skywards to give the gas the best chance of escaping

Bizarrely, I had a dream last night where I was explaining to someone what trapped wind was.......

Goodnightnobody - no, definitely bum upwards! Think of what happens to all the bubbles gurgling upwards when one farts in the bath

sorry OP I hope you have resolved your dilema but absolutely PMSL at this thread

Definitely a candidate for Classics :o

Bananas, you ok?

This is bloody hilarious, really brightened up my day. Sorry Bananas hope you got it sorted x

ROFL! This thread's hilarious! Hope you got it sorted bananas....

P.S. I always need to fart when I'm in a library... maybe it's worth a visit.....?

Any ...erm.... news yet ?

Digestive biscuits or strng coffee do it for me