to be a bit fed up with people being late all the time?

[Carrotsandcelery]

I know it is not the worst crime in the world but sometimes it can really ruin a day.

We were stuck in yesterday waiting for someone who was coming at lunchtime and pitched up after 4pm. We were quite happy for them not to come until that time but they knew we had things to do and we could have gone and done them in that time rather than hanging around, not really getting into anything as they might appear any minute.

They then did it again today. A crowd of us were gathering - everyone else turned up five or ten minutes before or after the alloted time - my lovely friend pitches up about 40 minutes later, well aware that everyone would have been waiting for her.

I totally understand that things happen and we are all late sometimes, through unavoidable circumstances, but this has become a habit.

I have a close family member who does the same thing and can turn up 2 hours late, even for a child's party, and then wonder why no one has time to chat to them and everyone is leaving.

Is it me? Am I just too uptight or are they being down right rude? I strongly feel the latter but maybe I am wrong.

Sorry. Must start proofing iPhone messages more carefully!

I have a former friend (note "former") who not only was/is always spectacularly late in both her professional and personal life, but just didn't recognise that about herself and genuinely didn't understand that "We'll meet at 7", meant "we'll meet at 7", not "We'll meet up sometime this evening". her worst habit was using the time set for a meeting at a client's office as a guideline for the time she had to leave her office - no matter how far away it was and she would ring the client at the time the meeting was due to start and say "I'm setting off now". She never never apologised.....

hi everybody i'm new (bear with me english is not my main langue)

My DP is always late no matter how i plan nag and try to get him going...

But for once in his life he was on time and ruined everything.
i organised a trail in the woods for our DCs and my friends dcs ,of i wnt to tack things on trees make up clues... you get the drift.
Well he turned up with all theDCs 2(TWO) hours early before the whole course was finished.
and now when i nag about getting a move on he says:" you know what happens if i early...

I view it as incredibly rude, as if you're saying to the other person "your time doesn't matter to me."

I was brought up that way though - to the extent that if I go out on supply teaching, I apologise to the school if I'm there later than 8.10 that I'm sorry I'm later than I like to arrive but I got lost/stuck in traffic.

My stepfather is terrible - to the extent we tell him we need to leave an hour earlier than we do (he just gets distracted and will start pulling dandelions out of the lawn on the way to the car or something equally random), and on one occasion we had his holiday money kept for him and started fining him a Euro for every 10 minutes he kept us waiting. Hubby's quite bad as well for cutting it fine - he gets exasperated by me planning to be half an hour early for everything (it cuts down on my stress knowing I've got that margin for error) and I find him infuriatingly laid back (he'd do the "oh we've got a 2pm flight - let's leave the house at 12.30 whereas I'd want to leave about 10am).

Both my family and my DH's family find my need to be punctual amusing, as they can all be hours late for any meetings that we have. I even turned up early for my own wedding, shouting from my open topped car for late-comers to hurry up

I used to silently seethe, but since DD came along, I became more vocal in telling them that I DO mind that they are late as I can delay eating for a couple of hours, but my 2 year old can't.

My DFather actually turned up early on Friday when he was picking me up, the only time I can remember in the last 20 odd years that I was running late

I hate lateness. Agree that it's often about attention-seeking; the person who is late(est) will be noticed.

The worst is a friend's DP, who on being told something like 'We need to leave in half an hour' will continue sitting around/chatting/whatever until the rest of us have our coats and shoes on, THEN disappear for a primping session in the bathroom and keep us all waiting another 20 minutes. I've promised myself that the next time this happens at my house, I will just leave when I have told him we'll be leaving.

My partner is always late although he believes he is on time. He underestimates the amount of time it takes to travel. He also allows the agreed time to be flexible so if we arrange to meet for dinner at 9 up to 30 mins late is still on time for him. I would rather get there early and have a drink at the bar. His parents are rude to the other extreme, arriving hours early.

I nearly missed my first date with DH by being late! He's insanely punctual, to the extent that if someone is invited to come for lunch at 1, by 1:01 he's muttering that they are late.

The night of the date we were due to meet at 7, and I got stuck at work (and then had a wardrobe crisis), so was only leaving my house (15 minutes away from where we were meeting) at 7. I sent him a text to apologise and said I'd be there in 15 minutes. He later told me that had I not sent the text he would have left by 10 past...

We have many 'discussions' about time, and I think we're meeting somewhere in the middle these days. I give people leeway of about 30 minutes when they're coming to house, and about 10/15 minutes if we are meeting elsewhere. DH has accepted the house part, but not yet the 'elsewhere'. If someone is running late I usually distract him from realising the time... keeps the peace!

What winds me up no end is how the habitually late think a breezy 'sorry' should suffice when they finally appear.

I am punctual. I put pressure on myself to arrive on time because I've said I would (have made a commitment and so, stick to it), and out of respect for the other person and their time/schedule.

When another person is late (talking more than 5 or 10 minutes), it translates as inconsiderate, disrespectful and shows that the late person believes their time is more important than that of the punctual person. It puts me in such a bad mood that I struggle to 'get over it' and enjoy the evening. If I complain, have usually been met in the past by an incredulous look that casts me as the unreasonable one!

Must admit though, I have never left the agreed location as that would signify I am 'done' with the friendship. I always wait.....and seethe.

Yes, my sister's lateness "signature" is a text message saying "Just leaving now", which she sends AFTER the orignal meeting time. It's doubly annoying because it means I have to work out her estimated journey time myself.

I am shocked by the number of people who obviously find it acceptable to keep the rest of the world waiting. How do people justify this to themselves? Do they not realise that they are denying us the chance to do stuff too?

I am glad it is not just me though. I didn't think I was being unreasonable but they have done it so often I was beginning to doubt myself and start to think that I was just really intolerant.