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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect new date this afternoon to let me know by now

36 replies

heleninahandcart · 02/05/2011 12:40

if he expects to meet me late this afternoon/early eve today? I am out of touch with all this.

Internet dating, 'good' site. He initiates contact beginning of last week, he asks to meet, we have couple of very short mails back and forth, and sends his phone number. I ask him for some more details (for my own security) that I can verify, check this out, all ok.

After 2 days I call him on Wed, he seems suprised to get call, we have good chat, he suggests meeting maybe next week, maybe today, 'he will see how things go' and get in touch over (this) weekend.

Get text yesterday eve 6.30, asking if want to meet late afternoon/early eve today. I return text after about an hour saying yes that's good for me, and give area of London I live in (he had previously asked this). I was expecting him to get in touch to make arrangements, time, place, etc. I have not heard anything since.

I feel like he is not particularly interested/serious about meeting (he is a professional man who from his profile appeared very organised.)

AIBU to expect a little more notice? Really doesn't feel right if I finally get text sometime later to expect me to get my coat and run? Is this the way it is?

OP posts:
unsurevalentine · 02/05/2011 12:43

Why don't you text him?! If he doesn't text back you'll know hes not interested.

Maybe he had several others lined up over the weekend and got lucky?

Good luck!!

(met my OH online Grin)

sunshineatlast · 02/05/2011 12:43

No effort from him = no date. Just my opinion mind.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/05/2011 12:44

It sounds as if he doesn't know what he wants. i would be very reluctant to drop everything to run and meet him.
If he does phone again, try to make firm arrangements for later on in the week.
N.B - I probably don't know what I am talking about any more, I've been wed far too long.

Original poster
heleninahandcart · 02/05/2011 12:48

Unsureval That's what I would normally do with a friend for example. Have learnt not to be the one that 'chases' (grr against better nature).

sunshine - thats what I'm thinking, just not sure if AIBU to write him of already?

OP posts:
Original poster
heleninahandcart · 02/05/2011 12:50

off
kreecher - they do seem to think they are in a sweet shop!

OP posts:
unsurevalentine · 02/05/2011 12:51

Yea - but you can be too cool and he might think you're not interested either?

I'd send one text and if he doesn't reply delete him.

FabbyChic · 02/05/2011 12:54

Send a text asking what time and where today? Something casual,

Hi there, what time have you in mind to meet today, and whereabouts.

YellowDinosaur · 02/05/2011 12:59

Yes another vote here for texting him yourself. No reply = delete him

I also met my dh online so its not all bad!

Original poster
heleninahandcart · 02/05/2011 13:08

thanks all. Text sent a la Fabby, lets see... if he's interested, he'll reply

OP posts:
YellowDinosaur · 02/05/2011 13:11

Good one.

I'd give him about an hour or so and then go out somewhere else yourself. If he doesn't get in touch then you won't feel cheated that you have been waiting in for nothing and if he does get in touch much later then you can reply saying you are sorry but when you didn't hear from him you made other plans and would he like to make a date for later in the week.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/05/2011 13:27

Update?

Notsohotanymore · 02/05/2011 13:30

I would say forget it.If he contacts you now then say sorry as you didnt reply i have other plans and had a better offer!.Sorry but you may be right abt him not being interested.

glitterballmama · 02/05/2011 13:32

To be blunt it doesn't sound as if he's interested. If he wanted to meet you he would have made a firm arrangement. Don't waste any more time on him - you sound lovely and I'm sure there are lots of other men out there that DO want to meet you - you deserve better than this.

FabbyChic · 02/05/2011 13:32

Keep us posted! I do hate people with bad manners, be nice to get a response.

microfight · 02/05/2011 13:35

Do you really want to go on a date with someone who can't even commit to a first date? I would have already deleted him tbh.

Original poster
heleninahandcart · 02/05/2011 13:43

Nada, nothing, zilch. Instincts were right, its too late now, 'date ready gorgeous' takes a considerable amount of effort these days! Garden to dig, cake to eat Smile

Have already added 'men who don't know what they want' to back catalogue, what a tool. Genuinely feel its no loss... thanks for all your help

OP posts:
nijinsky · 02/05/2011 13:43

I wouldn't have phoned him in the first place! (not sure how internet dating works, but I would have left him to phone me). Bearing in mind you did that, and he suggested the date, I would now be off doing something else and if a date arrangement did now come through, would tell him it was too late notice and had assumed he was not interested. (basically I don't like the sound of him as he sounds too much hard work).

nijinsky · 02/05/2011 13:43

Cross posted sorry! Very rude of him.

Original poster
heleninahandcart · 02/05/2011 13:52

Nijinsky, I never my phone number until I have verified they're background a bit (stalker alert). He specifically sent his number for me to call him.

And yes, plain rude!

Now have the urge to send really really rude text... I will keep dignity though!

OP posts:
Original poster
heleninahandcart · 02/05/2011 14:26

just got text 'hi just back from playing tennis... does 6 ish work for you? I'm in South Ken...' (not even a sorry late in replying)

Now that would be 1 hour on the tube, leaving 2.5 hours to sort teen, shower and sort hair, get date fit and our of door (assuming I'm on standby). So, no, it bloody doesn't, sort yourself out man!

OP posts:
nijinsky · 02/05/2011 14:29

I wouldn't even reply. He sounds like a bloody nightmare!

HampstersDontSwim · 02/05/2011 14:30

You could go.

He might be really nice......

oranges · 02/05/2011 14:31

I'd say no sorry, I've made other plans. Maybe later in the week? Or make him come closer to you.

Onetoomanycornettos · 02/05/2011 14:34

This is why I hate text, they often arrive ages after you sent them, sometimes they go missing, all of which conspires to make dating even more stressful.

It depends how much you like him if you can be bothered to go, I also note he seems to be expecting you to go to him, so essentially you are running around calling him and going to see him. If you go, I would show up, enjoy yourself, then leave it up to him after that. If he's not asking you or suggesting places convenient for you, I think you have your answer (which is if you run after him, he'll bother to see you, if you don't, he won't).

Spenguin · 02/05/2011 14:34

He wants you to go to him?!

Know his type.

Good riddance!

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