to expect new date this afternoon to let me know by now

[heleninahandcart]

if he expects to meet me late this afternoon/early eve today? I am out of touch with all this.

Internet dating, 'good' site. He initiates contact beginning of last week, he asks to meet, we have couple of very short mails back and forth, and sends his phone number. I ask him for some more details (for my own security) that I can verify, check this out, all ok.

After 2 days I call him on Wed, he seems suprised to get call, we have good chat, he suggests meeting maybe next week, maybe today, 'he will see how things go' and get in touch over (this) weekend.

Get text yesterday eve 6.30, asking if want to meet late afternoon/early eve today. I return text after about an hour saying yes that's good for me, and give area of London I live in (he had previously asked this). I was expecting him to get in touch to make arrangements, time, place, etc. I have not heard anything since.

I feel like he is not particularly interested/serious about meeting (he is a professional man who from his profile appeared very organised.)

AIBU to expect a little more notice? Really doesn't feel right if I finally get text sometime later to expect me to get my coat and run? Is this the way it is?

He texted you back just over an hour later (he'd been playing tennis). and asked if 6 suits you. You could easily say, "might be pushing it - what about 7?"

I really don't think he seems that bad! You might be throwing away something here!

He is old enough at 47 and wise presumably wise enough (prof. job) to know better. What got me was apart from the late notice, the the suggestion I go to him, he already which area he lived in so why otherwise mention it.

I used to be fully of 'maybe he's just x,y or z excuses' for these men, which is why I asked AIBU here for reality check.

replied with 'at this late notice it doesn't work. Sorry'

I wouldn't go. I wouldn't right him off for this though. It doesn't necessarily mean he's not interested - if he was playing tennis then he wouldn't have seen your message. Or he may just be quite laid back about plans.

I would send a reply saying 'hope you've had a nice day in the sun. Sorry but because I didn't hear from you sooner I presumed you were busy so made other plans. How about later in the week?'

If he replies yes then make sure you get a firm date and time this time

Thank you Iwasyoung, maybe I've got cynical.

Yellow, good suggestion if if I have same doubts with another 'date'.

Think this one either couldn't be bothered, is arrogant or is 'interviewing' a series of women close to home! Either way, I should stick to someone who IS interested and polite

I think you handled yourself beautifully Helen :)

Some men don't take their phones when they go to the gym let alone tennis. So he got your text when he got back and replied straight away.

However, it is good manners to meet in the middle not for one to do all the travelling.

Helena - I think you know that it's not a goer. I haven't done online dating, but from friends who have, I know you have to develop a pretty thick skin and get ruthless or the time-wasters will suck the life out of you.

Go with your gut instinct. When you meet someone you click with, it won't be this hard.

I think you handled it really well too.

OP, just on the bit about you calling him the first time and him being surprised, I've always thought / felt that with online contact, you usually arrange a time to speak on the phone, rather than calling out of the blue.

The rest of it, he sounds vague and like he's keeping his options open so don't blame you for binning it. Just thought I'd mention the above for next time! Good luck!

He's Just Not That into You - I read that and met my OH a week later and did exactly what it advises and it worked for me esp with Internet dating.