weddings

[Polly05]

Hi just wanted your thoughts please.
I've been married to my second husband for 5 years, we both have children from our first marriages, 3 out of 4 of whom are 18 + but live at home/uni.
We have been invited to a close family wedding, but only my husbands children, not mine. The reasons being given are either, no children are invited or no one who the bride and groom don't know well is invited. My son isn't into weddings so wouldn't be bothered but my 15 year old daughter would be and very much thought she would be invited and so will be disappointed. I work very hard to treat all 4 children equally and to be a united family so a division like this is unhelpful.We've explained this to those concerned but without success. For various reasons my husband and his children will go but I no longer feel welcome and don't want to go but would want to wish the bride and groom well. I would welcome another persons take on the situation. thanks

Yes B and G are blood relatives of Dh niece
Thanks for posts it helps to know I am not mad .
Neither my adult , 18 year old son or Daughter of 15 years invited.
Just the tow blood relative sons of DH. who are bemused too!
Money no probs just manners!!

So what does your DH think?

I have been with my hubby for almost 15 years. I have 4 kids, he has 2 (all 18-26 years). We have lived as a family for 11 years, married for 8. My stepkids have always stayed part of the week with us, one has a severe learning difficulty.
My hubbys neice was married recently, none of my kids were invited, even though they do know each other and the neice was at our wedding and her kids have been to parties at our house (she had no kids when we got married, but they would of been invited)
There are 2 separate invites, one for the whole wedding day and one for a big party a week later.
The 1st invite was to me and hubby only, with a letter explaining only close family and friends would be attending the wedding day and eve (sent to everyone) I assumed that even my step kids were not invited to the wedding day, asked my hubby and he didnt know (so he said).
2nd invite to big party for us all.
I was ok with thinking that just me and hubby going to wedding day, and then all of us to the party week later.
But day before i discovered that my step kids are also going to wedding day, but my kids are not.

So I did not go, i didn't mind hubby and step kids going. Just feel disappointed that my kids are obviously not included as close family, although my husband has practically brought my kids up.

Only thing is that because i was not informed of the true picture earlier, i could not decline with grace, so as to avoid any difficult situation with springing on my hubby that i am now not going the night before, i felt my only option was to lie as to why i couldnt go. I did not want my husband or stepkids to feel upset in any way, or he may have not gone himself or even brought it up with the b&g. (also have relative from abroad staying, didnt want them to feel uneasy etc) Its not about spoiling anyones day, but my values and principals.
I am more annoyed with my hubby not being honest with me about his kids invitation, which would of gave us a chance to discuss options and for me to make an informed descision. Instead i have ended up having to lie, which could of been avoided if discussed earlier on.
Anyway, we will all be going to the big party next week, as a family. I think...