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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

- to get into debt so that I can have my full year mat leave?

46 replies

cheekster · 01/05/2011 23:25

The initial plan was that I would have the paid 9 months of maternity leave and then return to work. That way we wouldnt be out of pocket.

But I have thought and thought about it and I really want to have my full years entitlement. This is our last baby and I really want to make the most of it spend the most time I can with our children.

Also, DS1 will be starting school in september, which is when I would be returning to work if I only had 9 months off, and I think me returning to work and him starting school at the same time will be a lot for him to take on board.

But, for me to be able to have a year off, I will have to borrow money from somewhere - Im thinking something in the region of £3000. My DH is supportive of whatever I decide to do, but when Ive mentioned it to others - they seem horrified and say Im being silly to get into debt.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
cheekster · 01/05/2011 23:31

BUMP

OP posts:
mamasos · 01/05/2011 23:31

Definately not unreasonable to consider it!

(we are struggling financially at the moment while I stay at home with DD, but we're planning to have one child and make the most of it?! so kind of know how you feel)

Maybe think about how secure your job is when you go back and need to be paying the debt back, and how long it will take to pay back, what you will most likely have to sacrifice while you pay it back?

It's so hard to think practically about something so emotional though?!

LoopyLoopsNincompoop · 01/05/2011 23:33

I would do it.

What price can you put on time with your littlies?

PenguinArmy · 01/05/2011 23:37

Is there not room in your budget to start cutting back and saving a little now? That way you would also need to borrow less should the time come.

lynehamrose · 01/05/2011 23:43

I wouldt personally go into debt for the sake of that 3 months. But if you feel strongly about the full year then why not cut back now and try to avoid having to borrow so much?

bejeezus · 01/05/2011 23:45

i am doing exactly this- the debt will be around 3K also...I havent worked out how I'm going to pay it back. Mostly I think because I know that the sensible thing to do is go back to work at 9 months as it is going to be very very difficult to pay the money back. But I agree with Loopy- you cant put a price on that time..put teh mortgage on interest only and live off tescos value baked beans, have a great summer Grin

springbokdoc · 01/05/2011 23:46

Don't think you're BU at all. But agree with Penguin - possibly try cutting back a bit now and put it aside so you'll need to borrow less.

Mummywalsh · 02/05/2011 00:08

Have just gone into my first month of unpaid mat leave, painful to say the least. OH has no grip on finances so doesn't equate his wages with actually supporting us, I am debating about going back at all, 3 under 3 so childcare will be colossal, sorry...
What about taking 2-3 weeks AL to get DS1 settled at school before returning?

A1980 · 02/05/2011 00:10

Of course you're not unreasonable to want to spend more time with your children. But £3000 is alot of money for 3 extra months.

Once you're in debt it's hard to get out.

MichaelaS · 02/05/2011 00:38

YANBU but work out if you can actually afford to pay this money back. What about childcare costs when you go back to work? And definitely a good idea to cut back now and borrow less.

If you can't pay it back then i'm afraid YABU as you will spiral into debt and really regret it. but if you can afford to pay it back eventually, and ideally borrow less, then YANBU and go for it! Snuggles for those extra months are so special.

How about a middle route though - if its going to be expensive could you return to work after 10 months or 11 instead of 12?

scottishmummy · 02/05/2011 00:52

pragmatically no sentimental precious moments guff. no wails of oh the widdle ones.blah blah.

its time for
can you realistically afford this without tits in the ringer?
what can you both do to cut down now,to ease burden
where is somewhere that gives out money?what interest rate is somewhere?
sorry but dont accrue debt for sake of it.that is silly

so,when you go back to work how will childcare work,what will you pay?how will you organise it? these are bigger & ongoing questions

missnevermind · 02/05/2011 01:18

How much will you save on childcare in those extra months. Don't forget that will be a small bonus for you.

scottishmummy · 02/05/2011 01:27

you need to separate sentiment and practical

the ach everything for the kids,is easy said fast,and needs looked at.closely
practically what will incurring debt mean for you all,how will it impact

when is your employer expecting you back?9mth or 12mth - is this flexible

NotTheOneWhoIsntTheOtherOne · 02/05/2011 01:43

Agree with Scottish Mummy

Remember that debt is going to increase your outgoings (Obvious but amazing how many people forget that once they've spent it, their monthly costs will actually go up)

Also, it's a bit hard to know if £3k is a big deal without knowing your family income but if you don't have the "fat" in your budget to save between now and then to avoid debt, do you really have the spare capacity to pay back the debt?

Is there any way of going part time during those 3 months (e.g. school hours) if you're worried about your older child adapting? If he adapts, you could go back sooner.

MollyMurphy · 02/05/2011 01:49

We are doing it hun - just be realistic. We CAN pay all our bills - but with no fun and no extras. Sit down and go over every little tiny sum of outgoing. I have 5 months left and OMG its getting scary...but we know that if we do buckle down and mean business we can get by.

VajazzHands · 02/05/2011 02:25

Yanbu, I also notice when I am not working many of our bills are reduced (fewer "ready meals", I'm more able to budget etc) so money is saved that way.

ENjoy your baby

risingstar · 02/05/2011 03:01

i took a full years mortgage holiday

i didnt regret it for a minute.

manicinsomniac · 02/05/2011 03:21

you aren't being unreasonable.

I certainly wouldn't do it but it's your money your baby your decision. So your own choic won'tbe unreasonable, whatever it is.

2ddornot2dd · 02/05/2011 13:27

It isn't all or nothing- you could delay going back for a month, meaning that you coud settle DD1 into school first and then go back.

If you have a very understanding employer you could suggest going back part time for the first couple of months to ease your way back in.

You can't ever get the time back with your babies if ou back before you want to.

Appleton · 02/05/2011 13:38

I have added on an extra month to my 9 months - like you I was originally going to only take 9 months, but decided to extend it. I couldn't go for the full year as I'm the main earner in the house.

I got a Tesco's credit card, with 13 months interest free, and have used that for any shopping etc I can - I will also have about the same level of debt when I go back to work, but aim to pay it all off before the interest free time is up. I'm also hoping that having to pay back the money in my first few months back will mean we spend less than we're earning each month, and once the debt is paid off we can start to build up our savings again. We'll see how that goes!

HappyMummyOfOne · 02/05/2011 15:13

I wouldnt do it, not worth £3k of debt for the sake of a couple of months - your children wont even remember it.

I'd look into taking as much holiday as you can for the first weeks of school instead.

Icoulddoitbetter · 02/05/2011 15:20

I know others have mentioned it, but have you factored in the leave you'll have accrued by the time your nine months are up? You'll be paid for this time off, and if you can swing temp part time, it'll stretch even further. I'm lucky in that I could take my full 12 months off, but by the time I'd used my leave before, and leave at the end, I was away from work for 14 months altogether.

menagerie · 02/05/2011 17:09

I'd be really wary of the stress getting into debt can cause. Debt escalates so quickly. It won't stay at 3k. If you can afford to pay it back when you return to work, could you not afford to save something now? Live more simply from now on to try and keep going for longer without borrowing.

Also - think about compromising by staying on ML until end of October half term. That gives your oldest time to settle into school, then go back once he returns to school.

Not an easy choice, but debt isn't easy either. I'd avoid it - personal preference.

thetideishigh · 02/05/2011 17:16

IMHO, utter, possibly self-centred, madness.

Getting into debt with the job market the way it is and with no sign of it improving in the next 12 months is taking a huge risk with your family's financial security. Not getting the family into debt and minimising any risk to keeping the family home is surely worth more than those extra 10-12 weeks of being a SAHM.

You describe it as "my full entitlement". This is not an entitlement, it is a possibility depending on affordability. Affordability is the key decision driver in the current economic climate

soverylucky · 02/05/2011 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.