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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

- to get into debt so that I can have my full year mat leave?

46 replies

cheekster · 01/05/2011 23:25

The initial plan was that I would have the paid 9 months of maternity leave and then return to work. That way we wouldnt be out of pocket.

But I have thought and thought about it and I really want to have my full years entitlement. This is our last baby and I really want to make the most of it spend the most time I can with our children.

Also, DS1 will be starting school in september, which is when I would be returning to work if I only had 9 months off, and I think me returning to work and him starting school at the same time will be a lot for him to take on board.

But, for me to be able to have a year off, I will have to borrow money from somewhere - Im thinking something in the region of £3000. My DH is supportive of whatever I decide to do, but when Ive mentioned it to others - they seem horrified and say Im being silly to get into debt.

AIBU?

OP posts:

motherinferior · 02/05/2011 18:11

I agree with Scottishmummy.

And if you have older children, I'd be looking further down the line, frankly; at ways in which to work non-full-time (should you want this) or with at least a bit of slack and flexibility, when they are older.

Childhood does, contrary to popular cliche, go on quite a long time.

yama · 02/05/2011 18:16

Do it. Starting school may be a much bigger deal than you or your dc1 realises. Agree with others - cut back now and you may not need to get into much debt. Can you take a mortgage break, organise an interest-free overdraft etc?

MollieO · 02/05/2011 18:22

If I were you I would do it for a shorter time period, 1 or 2 months rather than 3. That way you'll cover your ds's school starting but not get into so much debt.

SarahBumBarer · 02/05/2011 18:23

Well it seems quite simple. Start saving and cutting back now. If you can do that for the next few months while on full salary you will know that you can afford to make some debt repayments once you are back at work. If you can't make cutbacks now then how do you expect to be able to afford all of your outgoings AND repay debt once you are back at work?

Personally I'd rather not be in debt and enjoy the time off that I have with my DS (and DH of course) doing nice things together not worrying about money and debt but that is just me. If you have been off work for 9 months until September presumably you will have quite a lot of holiday entitlement to take for the remaining 4 months of the year enabling you all to spend a reaonable bit of time together?

WidowWadman · 02/05/2011 18:29

I'd also factor in, whether you really want to be a year off. I thought 9 months were really short when I was pregnant with my daughter. But in the end I was crawling the walls and looking forward to going back to work from about 7 months onwards.

Maybe you should see how it goes first, you can always extend if you give enough notice.

I'd never get myself into debt for it, though.

mollycuddles · 02/05/2011 18:32

I think it depends how secure you and your partner's jobs are because 3k is a lot if you could be unemployed. And also on your income - how much in terms of monthly income would servicing a 3k debt cost you. That said I'm self employed and missed out on a lot of work while pg due to hyperemesis and stayed off work longer than was strictly sensible and in all dd2 cost me more than 3k but it was totally worth it.

latitude · 02/05/2011 18:33

I wouldn't, I think you should do your best to stay out of debt where possible.

BikeRunSki · 02/05/2011 18:34

If you own your house, could you take a mortgage break/pay interest only to help afford those last three months?

peppapighastakenovermylife · 02/05/2011 18:36

I would.

I would weigh up however how much this time is worth to you.

So it will cost you £3000 (or more dependent on interest rate and pay back time)

Is that time worth £3000 to you? What other things in your life have cost £3000? A wedding? Part of a wedding? An expensive holiday? A years tuition fees? Are they worth more or less than the £3000.

I know this is slightly different because it is debt not savings. I would also try to save now to make it less.

You also need to work out how you are going to pay it back - if you are confident you will then great.

scottishmummy · 02/05/2011 19:06

people can regale you with stories of belt tightening,value brands,reuse tea bags and spending reductions. if it works for them,smashing.but this is likely to be more than simply cut down on take away and change brands

is that a borrowed £3000?do you have your savings? what emergency funds do you have for any unexpected repairs or unexpected stuff

now misty eyed precious moments,isnt a good enough reason to get into debt.it really isnt.and certainly noyt with recession and uncertainty you need to sit down and robustly work out your financial commitments. who will lend you the money?what interest rate?over what period?

can you work around this creatively- return after 9mth but for the settling in period at school can you negotiate time off,or some time work at home

what about staggered return to work

reduction of hours and work school hours until your son settles.do this for few weeks and gradually settle him

on other hand,if you can afford this and have sufficient savings to cushion it, and additional ways of rebuild savings then do consider ir

how does this sit with your employer,are thy flexible to accommodate this
what plans are you making for childcare,when you return. eg after school,nursery.maybe firm all that up, make sure everything is robustly covered.

Chisbird · 02/05/2011 19:25

Do it, but save as much as you can beforehand. Debt is a horrible place to be in. I go back to work tomorrow after 14 months off, combination of mat leave and holiday, and am so grateful that I had the opportunity to see so many of my DD's milestones, i.e. first steps etc.

needanewfocus · 02/05/2011 19:30

I would do it but 3k wouldn't be unaffordable for us.

I personally think 9 months isn't a good age to be settling babies in childcare - my DS2 is 10mo old and just coming out the other side of hideous separation anxiety, no way would I have wanted to leave him then.

If 3k borrowed isn't likely to jeopardise your family security then I would do it.

needanewfocus · 02/05/2011 19:32

But then, on reflection, of course I would say that. I'm a SAHM and gave up a pretty decent salary to stay at home with my children!

LadyWithErmine · 02/05/2011 19:36

"Snuggles for those extra months are so special."

oh, for pity's sake. Like she's never going to cuddle her kids again once she goes back to work...

VajazzHands · 02/05/2011 19:48

No ladywithermine, but once the baby months are gone, they are gone forever and a 40 hour work week combined with a baby who sleeps most of a 24 hour period won't leave much time for cuddles will it?

Sounds like the OP will regret it if she doesn't take that extra time.

scottishmummy · 02/05/2011 19:52

all this misty eyed sentimental precious moments,digresses from the obvious question can you afford this?

if 12wk off means tits in wringer debt,and long time to recoup money you'd be mug to do so.and no snuggly wuggly buggly makes up for adult stress of being on debt

you arent abandoning a child,you're returning to work.unlikely they will forget you and become detached

working mums read to,snuggle and have tender moments too

Zooo · 02/05/2011 19:55

I suppose it depends on a number of things.

Do you have any existing debts? How would you pay it back if one of you suddenly became unemployed? Are you certain you'll go back to work at all?

If after three months you decide you don't want to work at all then you're stuck with a debt you might not be able to pay. If you have existing debts this will just compound them.

If it's affordable debt then great. If not, then go back to work as planned - you could make life a whole lot worse.

EggyAllenPoe · 02/05/2011 20:11

well, i don't understand why it would be £3k - but i suppose that depends on your finances.

surely paid SMP for three months is more like £1500?

blueshoes · 02/05/2011 20:30

How long will it take you to repay £3,000 of debt? If you don't have a sensible repayment plan, then it is exceedingly foolish to get into debt for 3 months' more maternity leave.

carriedababi · 02/05/2011 21:04

i would

but only you know th full extent of your finances

how long it would take you repay, how big your morgage is etc

you will never get the chance again.

its funny how some people react to debt though, the people on here that say oh i couldn;t sleep atnight if i was in debt etc
but for all you know they could have a 350k morgage where as the person they are saying to to only has a 50k morgage or whatever
hopefully ywswim

firsttimemum77 · 02/05/2011 21:33

Not read the other posts so sorry if I repeat anything. First of all I don't think you should get into debt to take your full mat leave entitlement - that's just mad IMO. You could :-

put money aside until you start mat leave; or
if you have a flexible mortgage you can take up to a year out and then make some overpayments when you go back to work to catch up again.

Personally I would do both 1) and 2) above.

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