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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if it's my fault that DD isn't walking yet?

69 replies

LessThanGreat · 01/05/2011 22:19

She's 14mo. She's been crawling since 6mo. So my mum kept saying 'Oh, she'll be walking by Christmas', then when that didn't happen, 'She'll be walking by her birthday'. And it's all MIL asks about now when we speak on the phone. And every other baby the same age (and some a bit younger) seems to be walking already.

I try to encourage her but she doesn't like to walk holding my hands, she just sits and crawls or cries to be picked up. She's great at cruising holding onto furniture. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I feel ridiculous because I know it's still early but it's upsetting me now, I've just been having a bit of a cry about it.

OP posts:

Clary · 01/05/2011 22:21

Please don't be upset about it.

She will walk when she is ready I am sure. BTW the mean age to walk (ie the average) is 15 mo so she would be early if walking now.

My DS2 walked at 9 mo; otoh DS1 was almost 17 mo. Both fine and well within NT perameters.

If she's cruising and therefore weight bearing that's fine. Sound slike you are doing all the right things.

PelvicFloorsOfSteel · 01/05/2011 22:21

DS1 didn't walk until he was 15 months (ish), he just liked crawling and could get places faster that way so he wasn't interested in walking. It doesn't sound like there are any developmental problems with your DD if she can cruise so I'm sure she'll get there when she's ready.

MayDayChild · 01/05/2011 22:21

My DD walked alone at 14 1/2 months
Some were earlier some later. Please don't worry. Please ignore MIL.
Cheer up xx

MummyTubb · 01/05/2011 22:22

Don't worry yourself about it. She'll do it when she's ready. She is obviously happy crawling/cruising at the moment, and will be developing in other ways.

DS walked at 16 months, DD and I both walked at 18 months. 14 months is nothing to worry about.

Newgolddream · 01/05/2011 22:23

All babies progress at different rates - it doesnt mean you are doing anything "wrong" - she will walk when shes good and ready, personally I would make the most of the non walking stage because once they are on their feet the fun begins! DS3 was about 20 months before he walked - it was no big deal, perhaps because he was my 3rd, I was quite chilled about it all. Why do you feel the need to "try hard" to make her walk - whats the rush?

psiloveyou · 01/05/2011 22:23

My dd was climbing the stairs and cruising at 6 months. We thought she would be a early walker but in the end she was 13 months.
It's not your fault what your dd is doing sounds normal. I'm sure she will be up and going very soon. Don't worry about it there all different.

deemented · 01/05/2011 22:24

She'll get there when she's good and ready.

DS3 is 15 months and not even pulling himself up or cruising furniture yet. We've been to see Orthapeadic peads with him and they reckon he's a bit too flexible in the hips, knees and ankles, and they won't worry until he's eighteen months, if he's not doing it by then.

TBH, id she's cruising, i doubt it'll be long.

LadyThumb · 01/05/2011 22:24

She will do it in her own time, please don't worry! My Gt Neice just cruised and she was a couple of months older than your DD before she walked. My son didn't talk until he was nearly 2. They all have their own pace and time.

If she's cruising the furniture there's really no need to worry, honest!

fairylights · 01/05/2011 22:24

my ds didn't walk til he was over 16 months - honestly there is nothing you can do to "make" it happen, just relax, it will happen! I know its annoying when every other baby you meet of same age is running around but different kids just do things at different speeds.. my ds was very early with his speech which freaked other mums out too. try not to worry

stream · 01/05/2011 22:25

Oh, love, please don't cry about it.

My first didn't even sit up until 10 months! Try not to worry, babies are individual and they've all got their own timetable.

boosmummie · 01/05/2011 22:25

I wouldn't worry one bit. My four were all totally different. DD1 - 11m, DD2 - 9m, DS - 20m and DD3 14m. My DN didn't walk until 3 weeks before she was 2. Nothing wrong with her AT ALL, and at 17 she's still a lazy child .

ilikeyoursleeves · 01/05/2011 22:25

Don't worry! My ds1 didn't walk til 20 months & ds2 is now 21 months & refusing to walk, he still cruises etc but won't take even one step on his own! I worried with ds1 but since I know its prob genetic, as both me & dh were late walkers, I'm not worried at all about ds2. They get there in the end!

Newgolddream · 01/05/2011 22:25

Ps my DS3 is now 3 and you would never know he didnt walk till he was nearly 2. We had laminate flooring and I think he was just too used to bum shuffling quickly over it.

AgentZigzag · 01/05/2011 22:25

14 months isn't that old at all, 16 MO DD2 only started walking at about 13/14 months, before that she just sat down if you let go of her hands.

They really do just do it kind of out of the blue, and one day just get it.

One of us sat on the setee while another stood with her and tried sending her over to the other, it took a while but there were cheers all round when she decided it was time, nice because my dad was round and witnessed the event as well

Definately, definately nothing to get upset or cry about, she sounds to be doing great.

Just 'mmm' and nod at pushy relatives before you let what they've said go out the other ear.

flowersinherhair · 01/05/2011 22:26

My DD didnt walk till she was 19 months, I know how you feel regarding people's comments I was sick to death of hearing it! All children are different, there is nothing you can do till your DD is ready. Crawling at 6 months is very advanced IMO, my 2nd DD is nearly 9 months and not crawling yet. They are all different, don't get upset about it, she will walk when she is ready! xx

TheSkiingGardener · 01/05/2011 22:26

She sounds happy doing what she's doing. Not behind at all developmentally but probably just waiting until she is ready to let go of the table and launch into space. Might be tomorrow, might be 6 months, not even she knows!

AgentZigzag · 01/05/2011 22:26

Is there something else playing on your mind to upset you so much?

Original poster

LessThanGreat · 01/05/2011 22:30

Thanks for the replies everyone, it does help.

Nothing I can think of AgentZ, it just makes me wistful being out in the sunshine seeing other little toddlers, well, toddling about. It's very cute :)

OP posts:

HeadfirstForHalos · 01/05/2011 22:32

It doesn't make any difference. When your dc is running around the school playground with his peers nobody will be able to say who walked/talked/crawled/wrote a symphony first or who was late.

Unless you have a reason to think there may be some medical cause of the none walking, relax. I have found that if they want to walk they will do it, you won't have been responsible!

I have 4 dc, and they have started walking unaided between 12 months and 19 months.

AgentZigzag · 01/05/2011 22:34

It's easier when they're walking because you don't have to carry them everywhere, but then you have to make good use of the eyes in the back of your head with them being into everything

Swings and roundabouts.

IgnoringTheChildren · 01/05/2011 22:34

Sometimes grandparents really aren't that helpful right?! As everyone else has said there's no right time for children to achieve 'milestones' by and the priorities of the children may not match the priorities of their GPs! It's all anecdotal but IME children who are late to walk are amazing at talking, plus in a couple of years time no-one will be able to tell by looking at a child what they achieved when.

Find some way to get the GPs off your back and try not to worry about it.

IgnoringTheChildren · 01/05/2011 22:37

Also early crawlers have no real drive to start walking early as they can already get where they want to go!

bubblecoral · 01/05/2011 22:37

You have nothing to worry about except your overbearing MIL. Provided they are healthy, they all start walking before they go to preschool.

skybluepearl · 01/05/2011 22:39

the average for walking is 14 or 15 months i think. there is a huge spectrum of what is considered normal though. mine both walked at 15 months but i have known children be as late as 20 months and as early as 9 months. they all end up as co-ordinated as each other anyway. late walkers are great though - they get into less havoc cos they are less mobile. as soon as they are walking you are really on your toes. can you just change the subject next time MIL asks. tell her how well her grandchild is doing in other areas and how cute he is.

Firawla · 01/05/2011 22:50

It's not your fault and 14 months is not extremely late so does not have to be considered a problem unless there's anything else to make you worried? but I know what you mean sometimes people can make you feel crap about it. Both mine were quite late walker (ds2 still isnt walking now 16 months), I remember with ds1 someone asking me when he was about 14 months 'why isn't he walking whats wrong with him ' as though every child walks exactly on the dot of one yr. Ds2 was also a late crawler, and got some 'helpful' comments from some mother about 'he is not crawling because you carry him around too much, my dd was walking by that age'
If your dd is happy and cruising around then that's fine for her age, if she doesn't like to have hands held and walk around with you like that then you can't force her, just let her get on with it. Thats what my ds1 was like, he did not want any help with walking so until he was able to do it by himself without assistance he was not interested, was just a personality thing.
Just try to ignore mil and try not to focus on it tooo much, she will do it in her own time.
I know what you mean sometimes seeing the others of the same age and younger run around makes you feel a bit sorry for them, I feel like that for my ds2 these days I don't think theres any of his little friends left now not walking! and can see he wants to join in but there are other things they can do so the walking is not everything

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