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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if it's my fault that DD isn't walking yet?

69 replies

LessThanGreat · 01/05/2011 22:19

She's 14mo. She's been crawling since 6mo. So my mum kept saying 'Oh, she'll be walking by Christmas', then when that didn't happen, 'She'll be walking by her birthday'. And it's all MIL asks about now when we speak on the phone. And every other baby the same age (and some a bit younger) seems to be walking already.

I try to encourage her but she doesn't like to walk holding my hands, she just sits and crawls or cries to be picked up. She's great at cruising holding onto furniture. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I feel ridiculous because I know it's still early but it's upsetting me now, I've just been having a bit of a cry about it.

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/05/2011 23:00

My DS was 22 months before he walked, his friend born the day before was walking at 10 months. Nothing to worry about.

BetsyBoop · 01/05/2011 23:13

As she's gone from crawling to standing to cruising I don't think you have anything to worry about, she will do it in her own sweet time when she is ready :)

Ignore MIL

FWIW DD first walked at 15 months and DS a week before he was 18months and I was so sick of "is he still not walking?" comments by then - but luckily not from my lovely MIL who had forewarned me that DH didn't walk until almost 18 months

whackamole · 01/05/2011 23:21

Don't be too worried!

My boys were crawling from about 8 months and walked at about 14-15 months. They were cruising from the second they could crawl though.

If you have no concerns with her legs and development (not sure what I mean - like clicky hips and placing her feet flat on the floor I guess?) then I wouldn't worry. I certainly didn't, even though I got exactly the same from my own parents, and now they are 2 they are constantly asking me if they are talking yet.

If you are really concerned speak to your HV - but I can guarantee she will echo the wonderful advice here not to worry that all children are different.

Maryz · 01/05/2011 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scotsgirl23 · 01/05/2011 23:26

Sympathies here too! DD is almost 1, and still refusing to even contemplate crawling, and will only sort of wiggle around a little bit to reach toys. She just can't be bothered I don't think! I am sick fed up of hearing my MIL in particular "she should be walking now" "stand up you lazy baby" etc etc. Thankfully I have managed to dodge her lots recently as it really winds me up!

2littlegreenmonkeys · 01/05/2011 23:29

How can it be your fault?

Really don't worry about her walking she will walk when she is ready.

My DD1 was only just 8 months old when she walked, DD2 on the other hand was about 15 months old if I remember correctly.

AgentZigzag · 01/05/2011 23:33

'"stand up you lazy baby" '

what a horrible, horrible thing to say to your DD scotsgirl.

Honestly, what some people think is OK to say when talking about babies in front of their mums really surprises me.

musicposy · 02/05/2011 00:00

Aaw, OP, I do know where you're coming from. My DD1 didn't sit until nearly 10 months. I used to meet with all the other mums whose babies were all sitting. I remember us all posing them for a photo and DD just kept flopping over. Some of the other mums were saying "can't she sit by now?" and I got quite upset.

DD2 didn't walk until 17 months, either.

They are now (15 and 11) both excellent dancers and ice skaters and very athletic. At the time it seems these things will never happen, but in a short while no one will even know, much less care, who walked when. It all evens out.

Grow a thick skin with family/friends if you can. Family are probably just excited over the whole thing and don't mean to hurt your feelings. Hope this helps :)

FreudianSlipper · 02/05/2011 01:47

don't worry or get upset she will when she feels ready too

ds crawled at 7 months, took a few steps around 12 months, then walked across the room a few weeks later, stumbled a little and didn't bother walking again until he was 16 months (he may have been practising behind my back). he did not seem keen on all that stumbling, trying to walk and holding on to furniture he waited until could do it properly

from then on he walked everywhere, within a week of walking he would walk easily walk a mile and i have never had problems getting him to walk anywhere

he also talked late and once started he has not stopped :)

MrsSchadenfreude · 02/05/2011 07:41

DD1 walked at 11 months but didn't talk until she was three. DD2 didn't walk until she was 20 months, but talked freakishly early - about 15 to 16 months. I used to ask her why she wasn't walking and she would say "Don't want to. You bring me things." She potty trained herself pretty much as soon as she walked, though, which was a big plus.

My mother also used to say to me "Have you not got that baby walking yet?" and would tell me to prop her up against the sofa in a standing position "so that she will learn."

Mishy1234 · 02/05/2011 07:45

Please try not to worry, she's WELL within the normal age range for walking and is doing all the right things for her age. DS1 was bang on 13 months when he walked and DS2 is still crawling/cruising at 11 and not showing any signs of walking yet (he also doesn't want to walk holding my hands).

My MIL has also been asking if DS2 is walking yet. It's just really a conversation point, but I can see how you must find it annoying.

sockmonkey · 02/05/2011 07:56

DS1 didn't walk till 18 months, but could crawl really fast. Don't think he saw the point in walking as it would take him so much longer to get places. He did talk early, so there may be some truth in the "late walker, early talker".
One day I plonked him down & he just walked off. Completely missed the wobbly falling over phase, and went straight for confident getting fom a-b.

DS2 started at 10 months, but was very wobbly, DD1 was 13 months. Every child is different, even in the same family.

heliumballoons · 02/05/2011 07:59

Shes normal - I had DS the same month as a friend (thats how we met)

DS walked at 10 months, her DS at 19months. She got frustrated and worried and used to just remind her how she always got to finish a cup of coffee/ sit down at the park.

Oh I walked 8months and my bro and sis at 15 and 17 months. Dro is a swimmer sis a dancer (both excellent) and I'm a sofa surfer.

In the long run it won't matter.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/05/2011 07:59

YABU if you have nailed her feet to the floor, other wise, you know you aren't.
Tell your MiL to piss off and keep her opinions and thoughts to herself.

LifeIsButtercream · 02/05/2011 08:03

Try not to let it worry you - my DD was similar, she sat early, crawled early (7m) and seemed to like crawling so much that she didn't walk until 19m! DD is now 2 and running around all over the place!

If you are worried then ask your HV, mine checked DD over and reassured me.

I had a very unhelpful friend who had an early walker and would constantly imply that my DD was abnormal, or I wasn't encouraging her enough, just ignore ignore ignore.

Your DD will walk when she is ready, I don't know if it is useful but when my DD was about 15m I bought her one of those ELC umbrella fold cheap doll buggies (she was doll-obsessed) she soon learned to push it around and it really encouraged her to get on her feet - with the added benefit that it was too 'tippy' to be really supporting her, so she was toddling around entirely on her own steam, while still feeling secure that she was holding on to something.

Clary · 02/05/2011 08:59

MrsSchedenfreude loving that conversation with non walking child about why she wasn't walking!

Not something you can usual get an answer on, is it, so that's quite an insight!

wotnochocs · 02/05/2011 09:20

She's well within the normal range -please don't worry

theoldbrigade · 02/05/2011 09:35

IMO no problem at all.

As others have said she'll walk when good and ready !

KenDoddsDadsDog · 02/05/2011 09:38

My DD is 16 months and still not walking. She cruises, stands on her own, even dances but can't step out alone.
Don't worry as there are plenty of other Mam's out there who are waiting too!

EmmaBemma · 02/05/2011 09:39

My eldest daughter walked at 14 months I think - I wasn't aware of that being especially late at the time. My youngest is 9 and a bit months, isn't crawling, and likes to stand up when held but has no balance at all. Don't cry about it, honestly! She'll get there when she's ready.

Jagsy · 02/05/2011 09:47

Please don't be upset, my ds walked at 10 months and my dd walked at 19months! We were very worried, thinking there was something wrong but GP said she would walk when she was good and ready, and she did.

MrsPennySworth · 02/05/2011 10:04

You know what, after my third dc now I've definitely come to the conclusion that there is definitely nothing anyone can do to influence when your baby will do things. You get people say things like "oh my baby walked at 9 months but I was always encouraging her and trying to get her to stand up and walk to me!"

Well that's all a load of tosh in my eyes! If a baby walks at 9 months its just in their genes to do that. You can't make a baby do anything quicker than they are ready to, it's impossible! They just do it when they are good and ready themselves. And by the time they are all 5 they all kind of level out anyway so it doesn't matter what child did what first when they were a baby. Makes absolutely no difference at all!

So what I am saying is, don't be sad about it - your baby will walk when shes ready and don't let anyone else try to tell you that there is anything you can do about it! Just try not to think about it too much, she is still more than "normal" to be not walking at the age she is now - my first 2 wasn't then and my third is nearly 8 months and not crawling but I'm not even thinking about it all this time!

2rebecca · 02/05/2011 10:04

She'll walk eventually. I would encourage her to crawl or cruise to get things and not just bring her stuff all the time but the age at which they walk is pretty irrelevent to anything meaningful in a child's life.
Next time your MIL asks I'd say "when she walks I'll let you know can you please stop asking about it at every conversation". She maybe doesn't realise how irritating it is.

icooksocks · 02/05/2011 10:43

My ds2 is 16 months old and he can't walk yet, he didnt crawl until 13 months. He has in the last month learnt to stand unaided, he cruises round the furniture but the stubborn little bugger sweetheart will not walk holding on to hands and suchlike.

mylovelymonster · 02/05/2011 11:04

Both DDs here started to walk around 16/17 months. The first one never sat up unaided which the HV was very worried about
They are both fine healthy monsters and although showed signs of maybe walking a bit earlier, I think they were just putting in a lot of work to build up their little muscles for the big event.
Ignore, relax, enjoy.

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