To ask if you are rich, and if so how you made your money?!

[jinglebelly]

I run a small ebay business but after DC 3 starts school I'd either like to retrain/get a degree or start up a larger business... I don't know any very well off people hence why I'm asking on mumsnet!

(I detest working for other people btw)

Spud, I don't know anyone with "inherited money", and I do know several very wealthy people, all bankers who were or are workaholics. A couple have retired and most of them don't work stupid hours anymore but they all did at one time and some still do.

I think for them it was a combination of hard work, brains and lucky timing.

There are quite a few in the extended family with inherited money. Wonderful, lovely life as far as I can tell.

Or others work in finance, or own a business.

The latter are usually very good at what they do.

Of course I'm not trying to harrass her. It is just incredibly chippy of you to say 'she then said the nurse didn't know what hard work is' - she didn't say that at all, she said other people work hard and some people do work longer hours.

Lots of people work hard, this is a fact.

The thing with describing yourself as working hard is it's meaningless because it's only based on your interpretation of hard work. I know lots of people who I don't think work hard who will tell you they do. Equally a close friend is a barrister and will often work weeks through on maybe a couple of hours sleep, and can frequently work 3 days through on none.

I'm not rich but we are comfortably well off. DH owned his own business when we met and so it was default really I have money . I was LP before that.

DH started small and for the first few years ploughed most of what he had back into the business and it grew.

Most banks do business grants so that may be an option for you?

With regards to hours. DH works less now than he did 6/7 years ago but for more money. But I think thats just the nature of his business.

Just aswell really with newborn twins, DS and 2DSS' on 50/50 access - I'm not sure I could cope with him working 6-9.

"Those of you who privately educate your children, live in large houses and go on expensive holidays - have you been able to do all this with no inherited money at all? And no help to get on the property ladder from parents or relatives?"

Yes, we have - and have no debt either, despite said house, private school fees, holidays. No help - just very good jobs gained by working hard from secondary school onward (to go to top unis, recruited by top firms (DH) or get into top registrar programs (me) to get top jobs). DH's family is working class, so has no money to give, and mine would, but I declined.

You know what, you're right toughasoldboots, you didn't say that. I paraphrased wrongly.
It was "She then said that her husband worked far harder and that some people didn't really know what hard work is." I went back but couldn't find anything like the second part of that sentence in that person's post.

But who cares?! I'm sure nobody does.

Yes, I was (not since moving here), but keep up with my qualifications in the States.

we are not rich, but some people think we are

Most of the successful people on this thread have not got where they are because of parental money.

"Those of you who privately educate your children, live in large houses and go on expensive holidays - have you been able to do all this with no inherited money at all? And no help to get on the property ladder from parents or relatives?"

Yes, absolutely. my case too. I went to university at 17. I never had a gap year. I was paying a nanny and morrtgage and working full time when I was 22 in my profession. We both worked very hardly , arguably in 4 jobs in a sense at times whilst bringing up 5 children. I worked until I went into labour and was back at work in 2 weeks (dead easy compared to being home with babies mind you).

What I did have as I said above was non sexist parents and a good education and encouragement at home (and luck, ability to work hard, am the eldest child which often makes a difference, look quite good, high IQ, never ill and loads of other "luck" things and I directed my efforts as a teenager into school work and choosing a career which pays well_ When the children were little we got all the clothes from oxfam certainly couldn't afford things like orange juice, just squash, had really old cars etc etc. Got all the school uniforms from second hand sales and as someone said above both had the same attitude to money and I love what I do. We certainly have't always had expensive holidays. When daughter 1 was 3 (she's 26 now) we went to Butlins with her, her 1 year old sister and 6 week old brother. I was already back at work.

This is a fascinating thread, and I agree with 99 per cent of what's been said. One thing though - never forget the vicissitudes of fate which, although are sometimes kind, can sometimes be very cruel.

Dh worked for a large global company at high management level. We had lovely house (with small mortgage) in affluent part of Berkshire. With 4 dc to provide for, we didn't live a particularly lavish life, but were comfortable enough for me to be SAHM. About 10 years ago DH's kidneys, for no apparent reason, gave up the ghost. About 5 years ago his health got too bad for him to continue working. He was forced to give up.

We get by ok, partly due to having been sensible when we had a high income, partly due to downsizing and changing the way we lived. I work now too (though not for very much). It has been hard. I think the point im trying to make is that sometimes, no matter how hard you work, how many hours you put in, how careful you are, how passionate - you can still be blindsided.

My PIL are very wealthy. They are also very mean careful with their money. Not once have they offered to help out their son (my DH) during his illness by contributing in any way. They did however once send my 4 dc one gold chocolate coin (admittedly a large one) for easter. I am guessing it is by this sort of careful money management they have become wealthy (bitter, moi?).

That's true shandy but surely if you had ensured you also had a career as well paid as your husband and never given up full time work you would not be in such a bad position. You would in a sense have insured against it by both working full time. There's no reason even rich parents should help children out and you're not starving. I don't think there is any moral obligation on me to assist the 5 children even if I had a lot of spare money to do so. Sometimes it's better for chidlren not to have that help.

That's really dreadful, shandyleer. Your poor husband, to be ill and to know they could make all the difference and they won't.

I've found this thread really interesting.

I'm a teacher in a sixth form and obviously didn't go into it for the money, but now I'm unhappy with the amount of work I do (massive) compared to the salary I get.

I reckon I have ten years of work left. I would love to change job - I'm very happy working really hard (it's the laziness of the students that grinds me down) but I seem to be stuck. I know I have a lot of skills. I can work long hours. My problem is that now that I've been working in one job so long (though my skills have changed over the years) it's hard to see what else I could do. I don't want to go into management in a college - the Peter Principle is very much at work there - but don't know what else to do.

I'd love a ten year challenge, though.

Shandy leer that is so difficult I have had two renal transplants and it has really altered the way and intensity in which I work I have to kill myself literally when I,m well to be able to live when I,m not.

Xenia, I readily admit to being very foolish when younger. I do have a degree, but never had any foresightedness, never knew what I wanted to do, was never particularly ambitious. I did manage to get quite a well paid job when out of uni but, again, was stupid and didn't save, never looked to the long-term.

As for our circumstances now - no we're not starving, and God willing, I have four healthy and happy children. I do however have a very ill dh, which apart from having lots of detrimental effects, has shown me how much I love him and how important good health is - something money can never buy.

With regards to the in-laws - they absolutely do not have to give us any money. In the highly unlikely event they should offer, I would truly want to turn them down anyway. I think the point is that if ever any of my children suffer the way dh is/has, I want to do anything and everything in my power to help. If easing their paths financially will help, then I will do it (if able).

Oh noddy, sorry just seen your post. I'm so sorry. I should put you and Dh in touch -he too has had two transplants (plus whole host of other things) but is back on dialysis now. How are you doing? Best wishes to you.

I certainly didn't inherit any money (in fact my parents are total finanical disasters) however the best gift they gave me was that I could achieve anything I wanted if I put my mind to it so similar to what Xenia describes, my parents were non-sexist and expected me to make it in a man's world rather than go and do something traditionally "female". I think that combined with their expectations (they thought I was brighter than I was!) meant that I was driven/ambitious from a young age.

I also think I have made choices that others were/are not prepared to make, so as an example, I could easily have taken a year's maternity leave and we could comfortably live on dh's income. However, I work in an environment where I "eat what I kill" as someone else put it, so a year's leave would have signficant impact on my income for the long term. I am no Xenia and had longer than 2 weeks off but a year to me would have been a luxury. Others might not be prepared to make that choice.

Somone asked earlier why people in the the top 5% of income won't admit to wealth. I would say that it's because, unless you're Bill Gates, you always know someone who is relatively a heck of a lot richer than you, so as you get more money your definition of what is "rich" changes. If someone had told me 15 years ago that I would be in the financial position that I am now, I would have laughed my head off as to me that would have been "rich". In addition, I also think that only an idiot runs around thinking they're rich. In real life, if you haven't come from a wealthy background, then money can become an issue with people you have known a long time e.g. uni friends and extended family as sadly, people change their perceptions of you and treat you accordingly if they perceive you as "wealthy".