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AIBU?

To ask if you are rich, and if so how you made your money?!

401 replies

jinglebelly · 01/05/2011 20:05

I run a small ebay business but after DC 3 starts school I'd either like to retrain/get a degree or start up a larger business... I don't know any very well off people hence why I'm asking on mumsnet!

OP posts:
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Xenia · 07/05/2011 19:21

Not embarrassed but we know tons of people who earn a huge lot more, that's sll. It's all relative but we all know someone on a gross £200k (net £114k) has 5x the money of the average single wage of £20k. No one is unaware of that. Some people like think a family on £60k a year too is very very rich because they get by on the minimum waeg plus tax credits plus housing benefit - whatever that then makes £13k up to.

I do thin it's very important women see what other women can earn however and realise how some of us have managed to make it and how they might emulate that if they choose to do so rather than thinking I will never be up to much and can't earn much. That's why it's a very interesting thread.

I agree with the poster above about those who are careful usually doing better too. None of us probably wanrt to end up like Benny Hill who I think had millions and lived in a tiny squalid flat above a chip shop or something and plenty of us will have moved to better houses etc as we got richer but those with money tend to be quite careful with it. May be twice a year I pay for a meal out. I don't often buy new clothes. Other people on a lot less seem to be going away all the time, every school holiday. In 26 years as a full time working mother I've never once taken a half term off work for example.

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catinboots · 07/05/2011 20:09

Is ., thi

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NotaMopsa · 08/05/2011 19:59

catinboots stunned into silence ......Wink

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PigletJohn · 09/05/2011 19:38

I just love The Bride saying:
"Is £114k pa rich? Not really. Think about it like this...."
and explaining she can find ways to spend it, therefore isn't rich

FFS if you put your mind to it you could spend a million, two million, ten million.

Saying "just look at the cost of a big house in a posh area, and fashionable private schools, and a yacht and a helicopter, my goodness it just eats up the money and we have nothing left" is just silly

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Al0uiseG · 09/05/2011 19:41

It is a lot more expensive just to live in the south east though.

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NotaMopsa · 09/05/2011 19:44

the north has expensive areas too - it's not all cheap housing and low council tax. Some people are horrified when they move here from London

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Al0uiseG · 09/05/2011 19:46

Absolutely, that was a generalisation, but one that is supported by Rics own figures.

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Oblomov · 09/05/2011 21:48

114 isn't rich to me. It is a good salary. A very good one. But that is all.
I work in accounts. Most of the top directors at my company are on 150k +. I have audited many companies over the years. Most directors are on salarys of that ilk.
So no, it isn't rich.

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PigletJohn · 09/05/2011 23:38

If you're richer than 95% of the population, you're rich.

Just because there's always someone richer doesn't mean you can say you're not, and expect to be taken seriously.

BTW £114k is a trick number, it's supposed to represent take-home pay for someone on £200k.

They wouldn't like it if we added on the value of pension contributions, medical insurance for self and family, company merc, stock options and other benefits and described them as being on £250k or £300k. But the cost to a company of a middle or senior employee or director is usually at least twice the nominal salary.

I've been in business on my own and had some ups and downs, but never pretended I wasn't well-off (even when I was badly injured in an accident and off work for a year, I had a good cushion)

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cabbageroses · 10/05/2011 08:09

The best way to be rich is to own your own business and employ people.
If you are highly educated with a degree, it's not guarantee at all that you will be rich.

Some of the richest people I know are double glazing company owners and plumbers.

The other rich people I know are those who are right at the top of multinationals, either as directors or lawyers- but realistically how many jobs are there like that- and it's a career path.

Even my friends whose partners earn around £200K are not what i would call "rich". They have a lifestyle which is comfortable but few have 2nd homes or really flash holidays.

We have a combined income of over £100K but still have a mortgage in our 50s, have funded uni fees etc for a total of 7 years, and although I can go out and buy a dress for £100 and not worry, we don't have flash holidays or a second home, or new cars every couple of years.

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RunAwayWife · 10/05/2011 08:25

I am very rich Grin I am healthy have two lovely healthy smart funny children, a wonderful loving family (including my first husband) and great friends.... I do not have any money though

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SybilBeddows · 10/05/2011 09:12

PigletJohn - if they don't agree with me that the top 1% counts as rich you're never going to get agreement that the top 5% are Grin

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Oblomov · 10/05/2011 11:11

Roughly and I do mean roughly 80-90% of the people I mix with on a daily basis, on on similar salaries. I mean the managers I work with at work are on 40-75k. Some of the top ones on 100-200k.
Many of the mums in the playground are on salaries 30-50k. Some less, some more. Many of the husbands are on 30-70k.
Most of us are highkly educated, with atleast one degree. I am. But I consider my salary 'reasonable'. nothing more. And if everyone around you earns the same, then you certainly don't consider yourself rich.
Me rich. Never. Comfortable ? Yes. But thats it.

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SybilBeddows · 10/05/2011 11:23

but surely people have the imagination and general knowledge to see how unusual the people they mix with are and put their own lives into perspective?

I wonder if the parents at Eton or the residents of Sandbanks or a bunch of premiership footballers go around saying 'We're not rich, we're comfortable'.

I also wonder if it's a very British thing and saying 'actually I am rich' is seen as unattractively showing off, in a 'Loadsamoney' sort of way.

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pommedechocolat · 10/05/2011 11:37

We are not rich in cashflow as have enormous mortgage, hubby has large finance on nice car, big house so huge utility bills etc etc.
We have a combined income of approx £140k p.a. with me working part time and dh full time.
We have got to these salaries through working very hard and long hours and getting the right results.
We would now like to think of a way to work less but maintain (if not grow) these salaries :)
I'll let you know when we find it!!!

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PigletJohn · 10/05/2011 11:47

so if you have lots of money, and find something to spend it on, you think that means you're not rich?

rubbish.

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SybilBeddows · 10/05/2011 12:00

yes PigletJohn, and if you hang around with other rich people you are not rich either apparently Grin

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abeautifulbutterfly · 10/05/2011 12:58

Haven't read the whole thread but DH and I were talking about this the other day and we came to the conclusion that (disclaimer: this is a rather frivolous comment) we don't stand a chance because we need too much sleep. Any chance to have 5 minutes longer in bed of a morning and an hour at the weekend takes precedence over almost everything else Grin.

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Oblomov · 10/05/2011 13:05

I don't know what kind of lifestyle you think these people lead. Most of them don't drive new cars. An 02 or an 05 plate isn't that great. Most of them who once they've paid their mortgagae and their rates, in on of the most expensive counties in the uk, don't buy their clothes from anywhere other than tesco or next. Lavish holidays ? errr no !! we go camping in dorset. And have £106.23 left at the end of the month.
I think you may be a bit misguided as to what salaries 'buy you'. I think I have a 'reasonable understanding' on what lifestyle you get in surrey/berks/kent/essex on 20k, 30k, 40k, 50k, 60k plus plus plus. But what I think doesn't seem to be at all in tally with what you guys seem to think.

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Oblomov · 10/05/2011 13:16

I agree with butterfly. Dh and I were talking about our quality of life. It is Fab. And its fab because we have made it that way. We choose. we chose. neither of us have ever worked silly hours. I chose to work part time and am only a part qualified accountant. I could push myself to finish my papers but I have no desire to. I earn a reasonable salary and adore my job. Plus with diabetes for all my life and an Aspergers ds1, I have no desire to do anything other than come home to my husband. We eat well. Have a glass of wine from time to time. This week we are actually going to 2 parties. can't wait. But my husband comes home at a reasonable time,. and the kids adore him, and they spend so much time with him. he could get a job as an Ops Manager, General Manger in central london for another 30k, but we wouldn't see him from 6 am to 9pm. So would thta 30k be worth it. We think not.
Neither of us had any desire to be rich. It never occured to us thta we would be. But we have both worked jolly hard to get where we are, and are now reaping the benefits. We have what I consider to be a comfortable lifestlye. There is no one to thank for this. Neither of us have rich parents, or have been given anything. we made it all happen ourselves. Not that we have anything much to show. But that was never our drive.

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AbsDuCroissant · 10/05/2011 13:17

Well, I may end up. I was asked to apply for a job which is paying nearly 3 times my current salary, and I'm still trying to figure out whether or not this is real.

If so - studied really, really ridiculously hard. Got into good university. Worked butt off. Finished uni, worked butt off some more and got hugely in debt to get legal qualifications. Partially through luck got good temp job, worked butt off to turn temp job into permanent job, worked butt off. changed job. calmed down a bit. On the way, impressed people, made good contacts, one of which has referred me for this role.

So a combo of: working butt off, luck and being nice to people, but mostly working butt off.

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thomasbodley · 10/05/2011 13:36

I would not describe myself as "rich" because I can't spend money unthinkingly. I still live within a budget, and whilst I can afford many of the things I want, I can't afford everything I want.

I am, however, in the top tax bracket, as is DH, so we are certainly in the highest-earning 5% of the population. I think this is the result of luck (being born in the right family) and effort in roughly equal measures.

I benefited enormously from a superb education - of which I took full advantage, unlike many of the girls from my school who aimed only for marriage to a rich man. (Some of them managed it; most didn't).

I now slightly regret not taking full academic advantage of my university education (I got a 2:2), but I did extensive work experience in the university vacs, and deliberately socialised with people I admired and respected - I didn't just get pissed in the bar and go "travelling" in the holidays. These relationships helped me land my first job and have subsequently helped me win new business contracts.

I've always had a very sound work ethic. My parents do not believe in inherited wealth and I've grown up with the idea of making something of myself, for myself. I must be one of very few people who combined public school with a paper round; I also worked in McDonald's as a teenager. I therefore have an enormous amount of respect for money, and zero snobbery about work or people. I will turn my hand to most things at work, and will happily work all-nighters alongside the juniors if it's required. I never switch off my blackberry and my clients know I will answer my phone whenever and wherever they need me.

Finally, I am very watchful with money. I've had a pension since my 21st birthday. I have some very nice, very expensive things, but I save for them, research prices, haggle. I have never bought a brand new car or upgraded myself on a plane or train when paying from my own pocket. I take the tube to work and DH rides a bike. We have one ancient car. Other than groceries, I literally never pay full price for anything. At work, I watch the company's money as if it were my own.

I am not a risk-taker, so I will never be rich. But I am very comfortable, and having learnt financial discipline from a young age, I will hopefully remain so for the rest of my life.

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GettingaWarmGrip · 23/07/2011 09:26

This is a very interesting thread. I would like to add my observations if I may.

Upbringing has a huge impact on life-choices. I had a difficult and unpleasant childhood and that had a massive impact on me with regard to my twenties and thirties. Looking back now I am in my fifties, (and after extensive psychotherapy!) my life was total chaos, and I made terrible choices with regard to partners. I found myself in a dead end job, despite educating myself at night school etc, and even though I was a property developer living in freezing caravans while renovating dumps before that was even thought of on tv, I didn't reap the benefits I should have as was ripped off by (abusive) partners when we inevitably split up.

Luckily for some reason I seem to have a brain which automatically works out the best way to get value for my efforts, and a risk-taking and optimistic personality. I realised years ago that the way forward was to work for myself, and did that as well as holding down a job that paid the bills.

I have been very, very poor, and now that doesn't frighten me as I know that I can get out of that trap, and prosper by my own efforts.

Even though my childhood was horrible, I did learn something from my parents, (or was it the genes coming through?), as my family escaped from E Europe during and after WWII, and all have done well for themselves in the UK and abroad. They escaped without a pot to piss in as one of my Uncles says, and left behind property and land. But without exception they have all done well through shear graft.

Like Xenia, I have worked through pregnancies and back to work straight after the birth. I have taken some huge risks, and now in my middle age, some of them are beginning to pay off. If two risks in particular take off this year or next then the potential is huge.

I have no interest in money per se, but I am very driven, and I don't know where that has come from. I always have several irons in the fire, to spread that high risk a bit. I know I am different to most people I know, who never take any risks at all.

A lot of seemingly rich people I know have had their own businesses and then gone bankrupt, then started out again with no debt, and carry on other dubious business practices. I find that morally unacceptable, which is why it has taken me many years to get to the stage I am at now.

Sorry if that went on a bit, just my observations!

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GettingaWarmGrip · 23/07/2011 09:28

Oh sorry folks! Ignore all above, didn't realise this is an oldish thread!

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robingood19 · 23/07/2011 10:28

I am not rich; but being rich can have its problems within families.

I suppose to get rich you have to be focussed and single minded with a talent for making dosh.

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