or is my sister?

[drowninginlaundry]

just trying to do the right thing here so help me out:
over the Easter break me and DH went away for 10 days on a charity expedition. My sister, her DH and their two DDs stayed in our house with my mum to look after our three DCs. She volunteered to do this, it was agreed ages ago and it was the only way we could have done it.

We've just had a horrible row over money. We left a float of £300 when we left, my bank card with PIN with instructions that if they needed more for food, outings with the children etc they were to use it. We left them our car, insure them on it. Arranged and paid for cleaners.

When we got back I saw that DSis and brother in law have withdrawn another £700 in cash in 10 days, plus spent £250 on my card, so in total they spent £1250 from our account in 10 days, to feed three adults, four children and one 9-month old baby.

There's history - I help my sister out a lot. When they lived abroad they would visit us on holidays and rarely paid for anything, they drove my car and I filled it with petrol, we always fed them well. She owes me money and I had agreed to waive a £200 debt as a thank you for childcare over Easter.

When I queried the £1250, which as it transpired included things like pub lunches for everyone and filling her car with petrol, she blew her top, and said that since she helped look after my children they should not have had to pay for anything.

I'm happy to contribute for some of their food and obviously they have done us a massive favour, but there is no way I would manage to spend that much in 10 days without going completely nuts in Tesco champagne section. I want her to pay some of her family's share back as we simply can't afford to pick up that kind of tab (put it this way, they don't spend like that when it's their own money. They are both teachers so good jobs but not loaded), but I don't know how much would be reasonable given how much they helped us. And I don't want us to fall out over this.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Bloody hell. I looked after my brother's 3 kids in their home for a long weekend just before Easter. They had stocked the cupboards to bursting and he showed me where the housekeeping money was if I needed more. I didn't touch it. I didn't realise babysitting was such an earner

I am crap with money, always on overdraft etc. I couldn't spend that amount in 10 days. She had no right to spend the money on themselves save a couple of ice creams. She wasn't on a freebie holiday. I would be absolutely hopping.

[mariagarity]

YANBU

[diabolo]

How horrible for you.

As atswim says, they've just freeloaded off you, and there's not a lot you can do about it in terms of getting the money back.

But you really have to consider whether or not you ever want anything to do with them ever again.

[valiumredhead]

YANBU but I think you have to clock it up to experience and change your PIN asap!!

Why on earth would you leave your cash card with ANYONE> Oh well, you have learned the hard way. Horrible situation and I'm not sure how it can be dealt with without an almighty ruckass as they seem very unreasonable people.

[mrsbiscuits]

I just find it deplorable that your sister could behave this way. I looked after my sisters 2 a couple of months ago at her house because she and her DH went away for her birthday I took my 2 with me and she had stocked up the fridge and freezer. The boys had pocket money for treats but the rest was up to me. When she got back she asked if I wanted any money for anything and I said no because even though I had spent money that had been my choice. My 2 are going to stay with her in October as we are going away for our anniversary and the arrangement will be reciprocated because that is what, in my book anyway, families do for each other.

[firesoup]

I def don't think yabu, cheeky mare! have you thought about changing your card? if they can do this clearly they have little respect for you, is there a chance they would use you card again? maybe online? i think i would be getting a new one to be safe.

[Pixieonthemoor]

Why on earth didnt your mum put the brakes on this?? That is a colossal amount of money for 10 days and I think that it is absolutely outrageous. How on earth can they justify this?? Even if you can get past this, I cannot see how the relationship can ever be totally whole again - they are total con artists and not to be trusted in any way.