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Shocked and upset....bad nursery experience

29 replies

knittedbreast · 01/05/2011 17:34

I arranged an appointment on Thursday to look around the nursery attached to a very good school close to where I love. My idea was that hopefully my daughter would go to the nursery and move up to the school with any friends shed made. Its not the school i want her to go to (my son goes to a different school, lovely) but shes not going to get in becuase we moved out of catchment. anyway...

so we turn up and are showed to where the nursery id, i knock on the door and no one answers. no big deal i thought they must just be busy so i walk around to the other door. now this appointment was made 3 weeks in advance and the receptionist had called through to tell them i was coming when i arrived.

i knock on the door, a member of nursery staff opens it and just stares at me, i said hello im here to look around the nursery with my daughter. she opens the door and says ok come in, i walk in and she says "there you are then, look around" and just walks off.
there are three staff there and nobody comes over and says hello, no one introduces themself to my daughter, a future pupil there. they just left me there, in a nursery ive never been in with a load of kids that are not mine. i just stood there looking around, i was hardly going to go over and start asking the children what they were doing or start looking through things. i just felt so uncomfortable.

they left me like this for about 5 mins and i just thought this is enough this isnt the place for dd. so i picked her up and said thank you very much and goodbye. the same woman says oh you are leaving so soon? i just thought well i have to say something. so i said yes to be honest i feel quite shocked that you havent even said hello to my child, you havent asked for our names or introduced yourselves. ive come here looking to send my child to this nursery and you havent told me what you do here, showed me around or anything at all.

her response? "well i have got 26 kids too look after". wtf? is that my problem? if they are having staff issues, i dont need to hear about that at all anyway. so i said well thats not really anything to do with me but i feel quite let down and im going to make a complaint to the school about this and shes says ( i kid you not)

"well if you are going to be like that about it dont let the door slam on you on the way out!" what???????

I just looked at her, i was like what the hell? so i left and spoke to the receptionist who was really aplogetic an offered to make me another appointment! i said no, im sorry.

would it be unreasonable to contact the head? ive had a child in private nurseries and a state nursery and i have never been in a situation where they havent even bothered to speak to my child-i mean really? im really upset, i cant beleive a school, let alone one that is supposed to be so good could be so awful!

OP posts:

edam · 01/05/2011 17:36

Blimey, what an awful way for them to behave. Yes, do contact the head.


FabbyChic · 01/05/2011 17:36

I would complain! That's disgraceful.


Praline · 01/05/2011 17:36

That is shocking, report to the head immediately, you could have taken any child out with you, or anything.


Praline · 01/05/2011 17:36

And shouldnt there have been more staff there? Whats the ratio?


parakeet · 01/05/2011 17:39

Please include her parting comment to you in your complaint.


YellowDinosaur · 01/05/2011 17:40

I would send my child there over my dead body after being treated like that. Doesn't exactly fill you with confidence does it?

I would be making a formal written complaint to the headteacher explaining in no uncertain terms exactly what happened and asking for an explanation


rainbowinthesky · 01/05/2011 17:41

Shock Complain in writing and cc to governors.


cookielove · 01/05/2011 17:41

Ratio for 3-5 is 1 staff to 8 children so 3 staff and 26 children is 2 over ratio, the staff clearly were rude to you, but have a feeling that the person who was meant to show you around must not have been there for some reason. As a show round removes one adult from ratio putting the extremely over ratio.


peeriebear · 01/05/2011 17:42

Definitely take it further. Do the other mums know the attitude is so brusque, cold and slack re letting people walk around unsupervised? (Not that you were a danger! but you could have been anyone, they never asked!) Tell everybody.


applecrumbleandcream · 01/05/2011 17:44

Disgusting attitude! No I wouldn't send my child to anywhere where the staff are so rude! Definitely write to the Headteacher. Did you get her name?


saffy85 · 01/05/2011 17:47

Shock I don't know what's worse tbh. The lack of staff, the lack of manners topped off with the rude comment as you left or the fact that the staff didn't appear to give a shit that an adult they didn't know or even take the time to ask the name of, hung around the room full of children.

Definately complain about the whole shoddy situation.


Tee2072 · 01/05/2011 17:51

I can't believe there wasn't a manager or someone who could show you around!

Along with the proper staff ratio at my son's nursery, there is always a manager on duty as well who floats for breaks and also does tours and things.

Appalling behaviour, do complain and complain loudly. And tell all the local parents you know.


Jacksterbear · 01/05/2011 17:52

Shock that's outrageous!


lockets · 01/05/2011 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntiePickleBottom · 01/05/2011 17:53

when i went to look around ds nursery, the other children went to the school to have a look around with the TA. I thought this was the norm.

i wouldn't be too happy with someone walking around the nursery unsupervised, i am not saying you are a danger to children......but being a parent does not automatically mean your not a risk to children.

make a complaint


GwendolineMaryLacey · 01/05/2011 17:54

Bloody hell, that's disgraceful behaviour. Both times I have looked round a nursery, the manager has been there to greet me, give me a tour and a talk about what's what. That's a pretty basic expectation.

Definitely complain, I'd hate to think my child was in that sort of environment.


knittedbreast · 01/05/2011 17:57

there were 3 staff members to 26 chilldren!

i was shaking once i got out, i just couldnt believe it had happened.

if they are like that with me, what are they like with the children. no way is she going there. ever.

OP posts:

knittedbreast · 01/05/2011 18:03

I didnt get their names, they didnt speak to me. the woman that was rude was an older lady (not elderly but older than the other two) so i got the impression she was the lead.

I made sure when i booked the appointment to go at a time that wouldnt inconvenience them, thats what i asked for when i booked. I just didnt expect them to be so rude, i dont expect them to love my daughter but to show no interest at all or even look at her when they knew i was coming is just awful.

i will be telling all the parents i know, in fact i might mention to the head in my email that i might contact ofsted.

and this one of the very good school? shit.

OP posts:

Syd35 · 01/05/2011 18:21

I had a similar experience so understand exactly how you're feeling. After DS being in private nursery where the communication was always very good, I was deflated when I took DS for his first day at the local nursery which too is attached to a school, I'm wondering if it's the same place does it start with R by any chance?

DS started a bit late in the term due to a change in our circumstances. Being a latecomer I would have thought all the more reason for the teachers to take some time with us. Anyhow, we turn up on the first day 5 minutes early and not knowing the procedure, walk into the class. The teacher says "oh we don't start till 8:30am", I explained I wanted to have a chat before he starts as he has glue ear and has difficulty hearing, she replied that she knew from the admissions lady and gets us to wait outside and locks the door. I was thinking oh great start.

Once we were in we were virtually ignored so I spoke to the teaching assistant who seemed a bit more approachable and said I was expecting a bit more of an intro and she says well Miss ... is busy with the other children but if you need to know anything just ask. So I'm thinking I don't really want to send him here but so many people have commented what a great school it is. So we gave it a go and I must say he has settled in brilliantly.

I think we were pampered when he was at the private nursery and they have a bigger ratio of adults to children. Still rubbish to be treated like that when you are a newcomer. Are you ruling it out altogether now following your experience?


knittedbreast · 01/05/2011 18:24

absolutly ruling it out yes. my son has been to a state nursery anf they were wonderful. the school dousnt start with an r though!

OP posts:

Syd35 · 01/05/2011 18:26

OK, good luck finding somewhere else :-)


sammich · 01/05/2011 18:26

1: the ratio is off so when you make a complaint to the school make one to ofsted as well phone number is 0300 123 1231 and you can email them to as to where to send the email for the inspector in your local area at [email protected] tell them about the ratios first and then the rudeness because there main concern will be the ratios

it does not matter if you did not get the names of the staff because as long as you have the date and time you went there "should" be records of the staff that were on duty but with this nursery who knows but you can always ask to see staff photos and point of the members of staff who were rude

school nurseries are generally never as good as private nurseries as school nurseries used to get a lot more funding for not having very many children and so were a lot better but in the new system they get half the funding for more children so try a nursery near the school your child is going to go as they will make friends with children going to that school but if you are looking for a nursery now in april you may find it hard to get the funded spaces as they are generally full by now


lazylula · 01/05/2011 18:38

I believe the ratio for a school nursery is not the same as the ratio in a private day nursery. The school nursery comes under the education sector, while private day nurseries and pre schools ect come under a different sector (can't remember which one) so are governed by different ratios. School nurseries used to just have 1 teacher and a nuresy nurse to a class of children and I believe some still do.
With regard to the treatment you received, that really was not good, especially the way they spoke to you. Allowing you time to see what was going on for yourself is not necessarily a bad thing, but you should have been shown around first and the staff should have been on hand to answer any questions ect.


sims2fan · 01/05/2011 18:42

Yes it is very bad of them but just thought I'd better respond to the comments about the adult:child ratio being wrong, as this isn't so.

If this is a school nursery then one of the adults will be a qualified teacher, and in that case the ratio is 1 adult to 13 children, so 2 adults to 26 (which is supposed to be the limit these days for nursery class sizes) as long as one of them is a teacher. 1 to 8 is only for settings where there is no teacher.


WhiteBumOfTheMountain · 01/05/2011 18:46

I thik you shoul try and get DD into the siblings school...a sibling link is often would be mad not to even try!

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