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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBu in thinking that a house can never be really clean unless

93 replies

breathing · 01/05/2011 15:33

Everyone in the house pitches in? I believe that ultra clean houses must have some degree of cooperation from the family. Like, for example, not being lazy fuckers and leaving spat toothpaste in sinks, wee on seats and dishes and plates in rooms?

OP posts:

Nell799 · 01/05/2011 18:02

very strange ! that was from a post about a month ago . Must be the phone .

goodbyemrschips · 01/05/2011 18:04

Made me giggle

Anyway EVERYBODIES idea of clean and tidy are different.

I believe my house is always clean and tidy and when I see other peoples houses I am shocked especially when they say ''ooooo your lucky I have just tidied up''

ChristinedePizan · 01/05/2011 18:07

How depressing to not allow children in their rooms during the day. That and not allowing them in certain rooms without an adult strikes me as positively Victorian. And like living in a hotel :(

xstitch · 01/05/2011 18:07

My neighbour came to the door last week and I was mortified as I was struggling with the house work due to MS. I was apologising profusely and she was looking at me as if I had lost it. She thought it looked fine . I freak at anything short of perfection so spend most of my time freaked tbh.

chimchar · 01/05/2011 18:25

Nobody but me does anything and it drives me insane. My house is messy and too dirty but I find it really hard to make progression tidying and sorting properly when I'm just trying to keep on top of the everyday chores.

Its not dreadful by any means but it makes me depressed.

ChocolateTeacup · 01/05/2011 18:27

MoreBeta

I am confused, if:

Toys stay in childrens own room - not allowed anywhere else.

No children allowed in bedrooms during day.

When are children allowed to play?

SardineQueen · 01/05/2011 18:28

chimchar I may be off the mark but have you seen the "flylady" threads on here? They are to do with getting on top of this stuff in easily managed chunks, so it doesn't seem so overwhelming. Just thinking if it's making you depressed and it's a clean problem rather than just untidy it might be worth a try, ignore me if not the right thing

That and putting the hard word on your family by whatever means necessary, obviously.

chimchar · 01/05/2011 18:35

Thanks sardine. I have seen it.

I go nuts on a regular basis at my family. Kids are messy buggers. Dh is lovely but useless and to be fair has been doing a lot of outside jobs recently.

I just feel like I'm constantly fighting a losing battle.

Will look at the threads tomorrow morning when I'm feeling more motivated. Thanks though.

Onetoomanycornettos · 01/05/2011 18:49

I was feeling a bit downhearted about my house (which is messy but not dirty), now I have read what it takes to keep it really clean, I'm seeing it with new eyes. Children are allowed everywhere in our house, they can play with things like my scarves, lie on my bed, there are no 'toy' sections, toys are found in most rooms, as are books and pictures and stuff. Perhaps I wouldn't like to have a very tidy house after all, and I'm certainly not prepared to put in the hours after work/cooking/putting to bed between 8-9 (which I do on my own). I actually feel cheered up by this thread for all the wrong reasons!

superv1xen · 01/05/2011 18:55

my house is clean and tidy pretty much all of the time and some of my more slatternly friends think i am ocd :o

yes i do clean and tidy a lot, but everyone does their bit in my house. even the dcs aged 5 and nearly 2. the 5 year old puts his dirty washing in the machine, tidies his room every day, hoovers his room, puts his cups and plates in the sink as soon as he is finished. and my 2 YO puts her toys away at the end of the day in her toybox (with help from us). i firmly believe in dc doing their bit, i am ashamed to say me and my DB did bugger all growing up but that was only because our mum didnt make us do it so we just saw it as the norm that "mum does everything"

there but anyway! my point is, everyone chips in.

SardineQueen · 01/05/2011 18:55

Onetoomany I feel exactly the same.

For me it's a "nice in theory" but in practice our lifestyle and way we want to live and be is not compatible with living in a showhome type scenario.

alemci · 01/05/2011 19:03

my front room is always reasonable and kitchen clear. my house is clean but there is always clutter mainly from children. sleeping bag left in hall from my dd sleeping over at someones house last night.

my dc have always been allowed everywhere but i did try and keep front room toy free as much as possible but not always.

superv1xen · 01/05/2011 19:04

and i don't allow toys anywhere but the dc's rooms and i have a (stylish) toybox in the front room but the ones in the front room have to be tidied away at the end of the day.

also my home is quite modern and minimalist, i don't do clutter so that makes it easier to keep clean.

myhouseWILLbecleanthisyear · 01/05/2011 19:04

We need to get our house tidy before I can answer the question.

We dont sit in filth or anything, but we have soooo much stuff, we are in the process of decluttering, but its taking its time.

And dont talk to me about hoarding DH's Mine NEVER wants to throw anything out. He has stacks and stacks of DVD's, console games, gaming magazines, graphic novels and toys. Mind you thinking about it I have stacks and stacks of CD's and cassettes.

I am on the flylady thread over in good housekeeping, just havent done much recently.

In one hand I would love to have a perfectly clean and clutterfree home, but on the other I want people to feel relaxed and not like they cant do anything for fear of a mess. Somewhere in the middle sounds good to me. This thread has made me realise that there is more to life than a perfect home. Although mine is not good enough for spontanious visitors just yet, but we are not living in squalor either.

I love programs like house of grime etc as it makes me feel so much better

superv1xen · 01/05/2011 19:05

although at the moment DH has a spare drum kit laying around the place he is trying to sell (he is a drummer) and it drives me BLOODY MAD!!

Tanith · 01/05/2011 19:06

I have an 11 year old boy going on teenage () and a toddler of 20 months. I also childmind with DH and we have 10 children here every day, albeit 4 of them after schoolers. 4 of them are under 2.

What with all the resources, toys, paint, sand etc, this house looks like a large bomb has hit it at the end of the day. If we had a tsunami here, I think it'd actually leave my house tider

MoreBeta · 02/05/2011 08:39

ChocolateTeaCup - our children have a room to play in downstairs so they dont need to play in bedrooms or other rooms.

I know I had this arguement on another thread and I suppose reading it baldly written on a page it sounds Victorian but actually it works out well because DCs can make as much mess as they want and do what they want in their own room.

We work at home so this is a workplace too and it would be horrible to always be living in a mess all day long - we have to have some order and rules to make it tolerable.

Oh and to all your messy DH/DPs - I have a shed and a special 'Dad cupboard'. Sorted.

noodle69 · 02/05/2011 08:48

Most of our flat stays tidy but we dont have loads of clutter (hate loads of stuff the more you have the more mess you make imo).

The kitchen is the room that often gets messy but the rest is easy to keep on top of. I want a dishwasher when I can get some more money together.

Original poster

breathing · 02/05/2011 09:59

I have decided mine will now have a bug in their ears regarding this. I think its in the training and I need to get onto this before its too late with the smaller ones. DSS 16, seems to be incapable of using a toilet brush. (as much as I hate them) and Ive found a collection of cups in his room (even though no food and rink goes upstairs). Ive just managed to get husband to take his breakfast plate and cup to the kitchen. Still working on the little dudes. Needs to be a collective effort.

OP posts:

MsScarlett · 02/05/2011 10:13

YANBU. The only houses I have ever seen that are immaculate are those belonging to women who don't work, like my ex MIL. Of course she then produced a son who had an OCD obsession with cleanliness, who was also incapable of clearing up after himself. But that's another story...

ledkr · 02/05/2011 10:31

I agree,i am often mocked for my ocd but i can say 70% oer cent of it would be unecessary if people cleared up after themselves,lazy pigs. I normally work ft but am on maternity leave so now get even less time to clean as have 12 wk old who hardly sleeps in the day. Best thing is to get a cleaner and make others chip in to pay,thats what i did,i can just concentrate on tidying and the babycare that way.

Bumblequeen · 02/05/2011 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumblequeen · 02/05/2011 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

amberleaf · 02/05/2011 13:11

Fabbychic you say you work full time 2 kids and still manage to keep it tidy yes?

Whenever i hear people say this my answer is a house thats empty all day as adults are at work and children at school/daycare is not going to get messy/untidy/dirty etc in the way one that is continually occupied is it?

Bumblequeen · 02/05/2011 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

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