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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not understand why people name change

54 replies

5Foot5 · 29/04/2011 20:51

Straight off let me say that I am not getting at anyone or any thread in particular. Quite often thought there seem to be threads where the OP says "I am name-changing for this one because...." and I just don't get it really.

Maybe I am being dense and if I am someone will no doubt point it out. But as I see it we all name change when we come on here in the first place and choose a mumsnet name for ourselves. I don't know who any of you are in RL just as you don't know me.

If I was going to post about an event where I thought the details might identify me in RL to someone who happened to know me in RL and also be on mumsnet, then doing it as 5foot5 or doing it as some completely different new name invented for that post wouldn't really prootect me IYSWIM. The RL person might still say "Hang on this 5foot5 person must really be Mabel Henshaw and the snooty bitch she is talking about is my friend Anthea! What a cow wait till I see her at work tomorrow!"

So what I am trying to say is, if you have a made up name and noone knows who you are anyway then why get a different made up name for something especially private and sensitive. Surely the people who don't know you anyway are the least of your worries.

Oh dear I have read this back and I haven't yet been drinking honest! But it sort of makes sense to me and I am just curious to understand the reasons.

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 29/04/2011 20:53

Some of us have rl friends/family on MN. People also change for a laugh, due to boredom, because they worry they're identifiable.

Next question?

icooksocks · 29/04/2011 20:54

I understand you. What I dont get is why they announce the name change? If they want to hide then just post it without all the malarkey about name changes.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 29/04/2011 20:55

I'm going to change soon. I changed to this name and had a miscarriage. Now am pg again and associate this name with bad times. That's why I'm doing it anyway...as soon as I can think of a replacement!

BeakerTheMuppetMuppet · 29/04/2011 20:57

if you re-consider the bit where you said 'if you have a made up name and no-one knows who you are' and think that someone you are posting about knows your MADE UP name, you might want to name change.

i do, quite frequently. but change back afterwards.

i know my (adult) DS knows my usual poster-name, and i post about him, name-changing stops him walking past the computer and by chance seeing 'me' chat about him

Paschaelina · 29/04/2011 20:57

Maybe I dont want anyone to associate this name with the in-depth revelations I am about to make in another name? It could lead to stalking...

TotemPole · 29/04/2011 21:00

I think some do it because they don't want the especially private or sensitive situation associating with them forever on MN. Also, someone in RL might recognise the delicate circumstances that namechange5foot5 posts and then that influences their opinion/response to 5foot5's regular posts.

I don't understand why name change though. Why not just have a second account?

Original poster

5Foot5 · 29/04/2011 21:00

*ShowofHands8 For all I know then I might have family and friends on here. But if I do then I don't know their mumsnet name and they certainly don't know mine. Do you mean you tell people who know you what your pseudonym is?

But that is sort of my point you see? If someone who knows you that well also knows you are ShowofHands, then just saying I have changed my name to lahdiDah for this and then proceeding to post something personal - well surely the friends and family will realise who you are anyway from the content of the post?

OP posts:

CommonerTrulyReigns · 29/04/2011 21:01

I think posters announce that they have namechanged, as it has been observed that first posts from people can quite often be treated with a degree of scepticism.

TotemPole · 29/04/2011 21:03

Or, as Paschaelina says, stalk the regular name. If you only post on one thread with the changed name then if someone does recognise, they can't stalk the original name.

TiggyD · 29/04/2011 21:05

I think some people do it so they can agree with what they themselves wrote.

pozzled · 29/04/2011 21:07

"if you have a made up name and noone knows who you are anyway"

I don't really mind if anyone I know in RL 'recognises' me on here- I don't usually post anything too personal or that I wouldn't want generally known. But some of my friends/family know that I use MN and I do occasionally give details that might make me recognisable.

So if I wanted to post about something very personal, or have a rant about someone then I would name change.

ToggyD · 29/04/2011 21:07

I agree with TiggyD

TotemPole · 29/04/2011 21:09

@ ToggyD.

TaggyD · 29/04/2011 21:09

I agree with Tiggy and Toggy.

CommonerTrulyReigns · 29/04/2011 21:09

Well if I had something contentious to garner opinion on, I think I would nc so that even though RL may realise I have posted, they wouldn't be able to follow my normal MN life.

Also, again posting contentiously, I may make an error in judgement in my AIBU attitude, and wouldn't them want posters who recognise me on MN to snub me because CTR has actually revealed is actually BU by feeding her children mooncups in front of CBeebies. Or being forever remembered as the poster who vomitted in a water jug and the served Pimm's in it 30 mins later. [totally made-up]

BertieBotts · 29/04/2011 21:10

Say if I wanted to post about a rather identifiable situation with a friend, I might namechange for that, because if I wrote about it under BertieBotts and they happened to google something about their situation and come across my post, not only would it be immediately obvious it was me (because I have photos on my profile) but also, they might then search for all my posts on here under the name BertieBotts and find out some personal things. Which I might not care if the anonymous internet knows, but I might care if they know.

But TBH if I thought it was likely someone might find what I'd posted about them then I'd probably not post it.

Nanny0gg · 29/04/2011 21:10

I see the OP's point though and I'd wondered this myself.
When a name is changed because of some particular incident that might get you recognised, then the incident will get you recognised anyhow.

rubyrubyruby · 29/04/2011 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

southeastastra · 29/04/2011 21:11

i prefer it when people don't but understand why they do

have tried it a bit but don't last long

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 29/04/2011 21:15

I don't get it either

usualsuspect · 29/04/2011 21:17

I understand why people do

But I do like the familiarity of posters names

manticlimactic · 29/04/2011 22:12

I understand a name change for some reasons, like if RL people know their MN name (know one even knows I post here from RL) but when someone name changes and the starts off with 'I'm a regular, nice ham, fields of poo or whatever it is etc etc' to prove they're not a troll then surely they could be a troll but know to say nice ham so people don't think they're a troll.

manticlimactic · 29/04/2011 22:15

Durr I meant no-one, of course.

NoWayNoHow · 29/04/2011 22:23

I think it depends on the situation, OP - if someone's going to name change and still give very specific details that someone in RL would recognise, then you're right, it's pointless.

However, I know a lot of people name change because they want to talk about a problem they're having that no-one in the friend/family circle would know about. In that case, name changing isn't protecting them from RL identification, but rather allows them to continue posting on other threads under their original name without other MNers putting 2 and 2 together and remembering the other issues they've posted about.

TheRhubarb · 29/04/2011 22:26

Some people do it because they are 'known' on mumsnet and have met members etc, others to bitch without people knowing who they are. You see, even though you are "anonymous" on mumsnet you still have a reputation and for some people that's all important. So whenever they do something out of character they change from their usual posting name to keep that reputation intact. Geddit?

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