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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why people name change

54 replies

5Foot5 · 29/04/2011 20:51

Straight off let me say that I am not getting at anyone or any thread in particular. Quite often thought there seem to be threads where the OP says "I am name-changing for this one because...." and I just don't get it really.

Maybe I am being dense and if I am someone will no doubt point it out. Grin But as I see it we all name change when we come on here in the first place and choose a mumsnet name for ourselves. I don't know who any of you are in RL just as you don't know me.

If I was going to post about an event where I thought the details might identify me in RL to someone who happened to know me in RL and also be on mumsnet, then doing it as 5foot5 or doing it as some completely different new name invented for that post wouldn't really prootect me IYSWIM. The RL person might still say "Hang on this 5foot5 person must really be Mabel Henshaw and the snooty bitch she is talking about is my friend Anthea! What a cow wait till I see her at work tomorrow!"

So what I am trying to say is, if you have a made up name and noone knows who you are anyway then why get a different made up name for something especially private and sensitive. Surely the people who don't know you anyway are the least of your worries.

Oh dear I have read this back and I haven't yet been drinking honest! But it sort of makes sense to me and I am just curious to understand the reasons.

OP posts:
Maryz · 29/04/2011 22:30

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worraliberty · 29/04/2011 22:32

It does make me laugh when people say "I've name changed in case I'm recognised" and then they go on to post such a unique situation/problem in loads of detail...like the people involved wouldn't recognise them anyway? Grin

I do kind of understand if they're posting about something private like an affair or an embarrassing illness or something, and they don't want to be recognised by the other posters on MN.

But I do think name changing is totally abused by people who start contraversial threads and don't have the bollocks to say what they're saying in a name they would be recognised in.

That's just cowardly imo and makes me wonder if they're all 'nicey nicey' in one name and nasty in another?

If I've got something to say, I'll say it in this name. If people don't agree with me or think any less of me for my opinions, that's something they have to deal with as far as I'm concerned.

ShowOfHands · 29/04/2011 22:40

Other way round OP. Not that I've told people in rl my username (never have) but that I've made friends through MN and they have become rl friends who I meet up with/stay with/speak to regularly. I have very small parts of my life that are personal and I don't want to talk to people in rl about it but I do want opinions/support and I don't want that information seeping into the public domain.

Plus I have a profile on here so it's not beyond the realms of possibility that my sil or mil or cousin could read something I say, see my photo/photos of dd and know info that I'd rather keep quiet.

I don't know why you can't see the logic behind it.

I never namechange to be malicious, to troll or to be cruel. I never say anything I wouldn't say in my ordinary name but I have the facility to choose what I reveal about myself to my friends, on here or otherwise.

Bohica · 29/04/2011 22:41

If someone has a delicate situation they want to talk about but fear the details will out them to people they know in RL if they happen to click on that thread then a name change is needed.
It stops the RL people saying Shock it's Dawn from HR. And then searching all of Dawns previous posts & finding out loads about them, ie bum sex friday & being a nobdie.

I'm my normal mumsnet character as Bohica but if something serious popped up I would name change to reflect the situation.

Oakmaiden · 29/04/2011 22:42

I have namechanged once when posting about a very sensitive situation.

I don't think anyone in real life knows my mn name, and no-one would recpgnise the situation I was posting about because it is a big secret in real life.

But - I don't want anyone knowing about that situation and it colouring their interactions with "oakmaiden".

Maryz · 29/04/2011 22:46

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hmc · 29/04/2011 22:47

In RL there are certain things I don't want to share with my friends , similarly I have friends on here and I would rather they didn't know certain things about me (but I might value an MN opinion on them) - hence occasional name change when the situation warrants it. I would then announce name change at the start of the thread to avoid accusations of being a troll because usually someone will search on your name and notice it hasn't been used before - so pre-empting that....

Bohica · 29/04/2011 22:47

I agree with BOF although I don't have RL MN'er mates I do have friends from RL that have "found me" through my new haircut thread so they all now know my Bohica MN name.

They are good friends but sometimes I might want a completly honest about feelings bitch opinions thread that isn't searchable under my normal MN name so I will do a little name change.

BitOfFunPipPip · 29/04/2011 22:56

Eh? I haven't even said anything [cconfused]

learningtofly · 29/04/2011 23:09

I have name changed recently due to a sensitive situation arising - people in rl know me on here and I can't bear them to know what's happening yet I need support and advice hence the name change

Bohica · 29/04/2011 23:16

Not Bof ffs

I agree with SOH

As you were.

rubyrubyruby · 29/04/2011 23:23

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TheRhubarb · 29/04/2011 23:24

I'm ALWAYS changing my name. Largely because I was married, then had an affair, then had an affair on top of that, dumped my dh, then trashed his wedding when he found someone more deserving because I was jealous and got off with his brother right under his nose. I just didn't think I would be treated with the same respect if I admitted to all of that under the same name.

Maryz · 29/04/2011 23:31

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CointreauVersial · 29/04/2011 23:31

[cgrin] rhubarb0.

Finallyspring · 29/04/2011 23:33

Wow rhubarb0 is that for real ?

TheRhubarb · 29/04/2011 23:35

Oh and I killed his beloved pet dog, had it stuffed and presented to him on his birthday. I think they were tears of joy, hard to tell really.

What original rhubarb? There is only one you know.

Maryz · 29/04/2011 23:40

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Bohica · 29/04/2011 23:42

yawn

TheRhubarb · 29/04/2011 23:42

sigh

Finallyspring · 29/04/2011 23:47

I wonder if my name change situation is similar to others on MN. I was moved to comment on a notorious MN regular who posts very bizarre threads. Got huge flaming and whole thread deleted. Was very embarrassed and could not face posting with same name again. Have noticed this notorious person similarly and regularly inducing strong reactions from other new posters who are then attacked for stating the truth about him. I guess they too disappear and name change ?

Maryz · 29/04/2011 23:55

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amberleaf · 30/04/2011 00:07

I just dont know how to do it? not that i want to i just dont get it.

Too much room for error imo too

LoopyLoopsNincompoop · 30/04/2011 00:07

Mostly I namechange if I am talking about something that happened in RL that I wouldn't want RL people to know about (ie. sex, bitching, v personal advice).

Sometimes I namechange when I'm talking about someone in RL who I suspect might be a MNer.

I have never told anyone in RL apart from DH my posting name, but have given a lot of details, and am recognisable. Therefore, 99% of the time I use one name, but some of the time I don't want the advice I'm seeking to be linked to that name in case someone works out who I am, does a search, and links everything together.

Similarly, I change my regular name from time to time. It is always very similar, so regular MNers will still recognise me (perhaps) but only posts from a certain period of time are searchable.

duckypoo · 30/04/2011 00:13

I just think it's a way to disassociate an issue from your regular persona, somebody might name change and post something that is recognised by somebody irl. However the rl person would then not be able to search for all of the posts pertaining to the regular persona.