To wonder if there's a man alive who knows when the bin truck comes, what the kids eat for packed lunches, when school discos and parents nights are????

[ssd]

cos mine doesn't

he's a great dad, but I'm coming to realise he's great when its something he's interested in, eg. football, football and football

he coaches, helps out, fundraises, plays with the boys, absolutely great for 2 sons

but anything else boring and mundane is up to me or else it doesn't happen

I can pin up schedules of the bin men coming, whats happening at school, but it all by passes him

DH has nothing to do with DDs school life. He spends far too much time there as it is {teaches at the same school).
With regard to the bins and lunches, he can and will do them if I ask, but I seldom do. It is simpler if I sort out the lunch for DD, I know what we've got in the fridge and what she will eat.
We do both take the bin bags out when we've seen what the neighbours are putting out. We have got a calendar, but can't read it because it is in Dutch.

My DH does the bins, all the laundry and the mowing....he has never lceaned a loo..but he dooes fold well. That's not bad...we're working on the washing up and the kids schedules.

When I ended up in hospital, I'd already paid for school dinners but MIL was going to make them packed lunches. He put the bins out on the right days and was able to fill in a form for ds for a trip but he couldn't remember one part and phoned the ward and asked them about it.

Mine does the bins and takes all the recycling. He often nips to the shops to stock up if we are low on essentials too.

As for parents evenings, have to say he is a bit of a star with them. My DD and his DS are in the same year so he always comes along and runs like a mad thing between conversations with both sets of teachers, to make sure he can also listen in on as many of my DDs conversations as possible (much to the visible irritation of his XW ). He also runs my DD about much more than I do.

Mind you, he does all the washing and lots of ironing but he will not do any cooking.

Mine does the bins, recycling, cooking, washing up, laundry, light housework (we have a cleaner for the big jobs), and grocery shopping. I have never touched our dyson, ive been to the bin storage room once in the last five years, and i do laundry on average 4 times per year. Little one hasn't arrived yet but I expect he will happily muck in, although I'll be the 'organiser' when it comes to parent teacher mtgs, dr appointments etc. That is not his forte.

He is a professional (investment banker) and works 12 hour days so I realise I am quite lucky!

Mine does the bins, makes packed lunches on the days we don't have childcare, drops them off at school and signs up for parents evenings

I, however, do ds's football (as dh works weekends) and do the DIY stuff as dh not fond of that.

Our situation changed when our working patterns changed and dh had to pick up the slack. Had it not been for that, I suspect things would be v different.

I guess it's a YABU by the other posts, and I can say the same:

I pin things to the fridge and he checks them and ensures we don't forget anything, he gets their bags ready for them for nursery and when we go out, and when I say things like 'oh I forgot we need x,y, or z 'just as I get in the car to go to an event he always says 'it's in the boot'.

He also pitches in and does everything I do around the house, if not more, both of us piching in as and when needed. It's called team work, which is what I think a marriage should be!

co ordinating gmail calenders people it is very simple

Errr. Mine does all that (bins, lunches, school run etc). He also does all the laundry - to my shame on my first week of mat leave I thought I'd help out by running a load through but then realised I had no clue how the machine worked.

He also does the shopping list, checks cupboards & stocks up midweek when we run low on bread / milk / eggs, checks boys bags each night to make sure they have at least one clean change of clothes in, and keeps my car topped up with oil and water.

I cook :)

YABU.

Of course there are men out there who are truly involved in raising their children. Just because you've picked a dud who only gets involved with the "nicer" parts of raising his children, doesn't mean that 50% of the population is the same.

We don't have set "male" or "female" tasks in this house, because we've each taken turns at being SAHPs for extended periods of time. And we also did "both part time" for a couple of years. Now that we're both working, I really think it's that old flexibility that stands us in good stead now.

Don't get me wrong, we do have our 'preferred' tasks. I hate hate hate washing up (gets my hands all greasy - urgh!) so generally after dinner I'll bargain with a "I'll tidy the dining room if you wash up". DH also hates hoovering (too tall for the hoover, hurts his back) so whilst I do that he normally bargains for the dusting, which isn't so hard on him. And I'm ok with that.

Anyway, I think the key thing is that we've both been responsible for running the house and not working at various times in the relationship, so no one is in total ignorance about some things that need to be done. It wasn't always like that - when I was on ML, DH found it harder to help when he was working fulltime becuase the house was my domain for a few years. But I actively chose to remedy that, and DH was happy to do his fair share of learning it.

I want my children's father to be able to look after them, should anything ever happen to me, or I have to go away on training, or my mum gets sick again.

What kind of father is a father who only does the fun stuff? A selfish one, who doesn't respect his partner, and one who hasn't really grown up or "got" what parenting is really about, tbh.

If he lived alone, who would do it? The house would full with trash and the kids would begin to graw on their books at school?
Ds does our bins. We don't pack lunches for any children, they came home for lunch. Dh packs his own lunch. Parents nights, he never missed any.
He is as hands on a parent as I am.
Maybe make your dh a sticker reward chart? ;P

mine does everything I do.

he reads their communication books, takes the rubbish out, does the dishes, cooks, cleans...

He doesn't know how to organise the cupboard under the sink so that everything doesn't fall out when you open it. That's about it really.

Oh, and he never finds anything. Even when it's under his nose

But in terms of taking care of the children and running the home, he's as good as I am and I expect nothing less.

Yes, of course there are!

My DH
My dad used to do all that and so did DH's dad.

Mine does because we share the responsibility of bins and children

yeh mine to be fair! im the disorganised one with the household stuff but school things, no he wouldn't have a clue.

My dh does all this things. He checks dd's school bag every day for letters and to get her reading book out. He signs the reading log. He has the school newsletters emailed to him at work swell as to our home address. He attends every assembly, sports days and parent evenings. he makes tthe packed lunch if i havent, he collwcts her from school and also knows the name of most children in her class!! He is lovely

Thinking about it, it's not just this generation of men that do this.
I mentioned my dad did all this and he is nearly 70 and DH's dad did all this too and he would be 86 if he was still alive.

I guess some men like being involved with family life and throw themselves into it.

My husband does this bins, cooks, cleans (considerably more than me on marriage all though now we have a child I do quite a bit to).

He came to every maternity appointmentt, doctors and dentist appointment for our daughter and also every nursery event so far. I have never done any of those things on my own as we do them all together.

I can't complain.

He does everything I do.
The trouble arises when neither are particularly good at it/or you are both good at it/assume the other has done it/the nobody, anybody or somebody syndrome.

My DH does the bins and recycling.

We share cooking, washing, ironing, parents evenings/extra curricular stuff.
We both 'know when things are happening' with the kid's schools and clubs and friends etc.

We are both quite messy and hate housework, but we have a weekly cleaner and muddle through the rest together.

We both work, we share childcare. I cannot imagine how it would work otherwise?

my brother

he is a single parent and does a great job. of course he has been elevated to almost saintly status and he is first to point out that it is no harder for him (he is constantly praised) than for me or his friends that are single parents (women) but he is a great dad and can do it all and multi task too because men can if they try

mine does. I have not made a pack lunch in 4 years, or taken out the bin

No YANBU
My DH is vaguely aware of small people living in the house.He does opem garden gate to let bin men round the back (we still have black bags and bin men who come round the back to get them.

My dh is the ONLY one who puts the bin out in our house.
He comes to all Parents Evenings.
When the girls had packed lunch dh made them most days.

He even went to a school disco......and was the dj!!

He's a great dad but not out of the ordinary.My friends husbands seem to be just as good.

My DH does the bins.
BUT I do need to email him at work with key dates/school hols as otherwise I end up telling him 30 times and it just goes in one ear and out the other....