to let DD sleep in my bed

[Iwishiwasaprincess]

DD (21 months old) is, for whatever reason, going through some sort of separation anxiety and is refusing to sleep in her own bed. She will sleep in my bed (with me) without issue.

She won't nap unless I lie down with her.

DH is adament that she should 'get over it' and forces her to go to bed in her room (cue HOURS of wailing, until she finally gives up, only to start wailing again in the early hours of the morning when she wakes).

He's been away this week and I've let DD sleep in my bed - we have had briliant nights sleep all week (so much so, I'm now awake and she is still asleep along side me).

I don't mind her sleeping with me, I actually quite like having her close to me and I hate putting her to bed when she is so upset. my take on it is that she will grow out of it. So, AIBU? If DD sleeps in my bed, then DH has to sleep in the spare room, which I appreciate isn't ideal. DH feels that I'm 'making a rod for my own back'

You dd sounds the sameas my ds, he has spent the last two nights in bed with us, meaning no really had a lot of sleep. He cried ( with me trying to comfort him) for five hours the other night, just screaming everytime i put him back in the cot. He would be shattered as well, and be asleep as soon as i picked him up. Managed to settle him in his cot last night but he was screaming at four this morning. As soon as I lie him down the screaming starts so popped him in with us in the end. Not really sure how i'm going to tackle this one, it's not bad when Dp away with work as more room in the bed.

Your Dh comment of 'your making a rod for your own back' well maybe he should try to settle you dd every night for her to wake, scream, and be overtired everytime you try and lie her down repeatedly all night. or just turn the baby monitor up high and out it on his pillow.

She will grow out of it, it will be fine. When she's a bit older she might be able to cope with starting the night in her own bed (so you get some uninterrupted time with DH) and then coming through to your bed, more sleep for everyone that way.

YANBU. Your DH on the other hand is being a selfish twat thinking his needs are more important than a baby's

She WILL grow out of it. Hopefully your DH will grow out of his twattishness too.

DH and I still take turns sleeping with DS and he is 3!! But it means more sleep for the both of us.

Yanbu, your DH seems to think his needs are far more important. Get him to start sharing night duties otherwise.

You pick her up and she says "I sorry I sorry" for wanting to be picked up. That is really, really sad.

She's still so young, not even 2 - of course she doesn't want to sleep alone. Noine of us has any idea what goes the minds of very, very young children. She's still a baby really. I am shocked that she has been left to cry for hours. How can you lie there and listen to it? I'm surprised that your neighbours haven't called the NSPCC!

Sorry to be harsh but you wouldn't leave a puppy to cry for hours by itself. Have some heart woman, grow a backbone and tell your DH to stop being a callous twat.

All my children have slept with me during their early years (but DS1 and 2 sleep quite happily now in their own bed). I hate all this "she'll still be sleeping with you when she's 21 ha ha"

Again, I know I am being harsh but for God's sake, do what it takes for you all to get some sleep.

All mine when little ended up in our bed most nights. ..they all grew out of it

what ever gives everyone a decent nights sleep was my motto

We slept the four of us on two mattresses in our bedroom. (there are reasons for this which I won't bore you with we had other beds and 3 empy bedrooms!)

It was very good for the children and we got a lot more sleep than before!

However, I don't think it's good to turf one parent out into the spare room.

It's not your bed, singular. It's your bed, plural. our bed not my bed. And I think you each have to consider how the other feels and come up with something that neither of you resents.

oh - and both parents get stuck with night duties, not just one! So he needs to sort that bugger out!

We are making that rod. DD sleeps with us every night. We did controlled crying at 8 months after bowing to pressure from HV, friends and GP but we can't bring ourselves to do it again. She is 17 months. On the odd occasion she will sleep though but it only happens about 1/month or less.