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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not know whether to call myself Ms, or Miss?

52 replies

NettoSuperstar · 28/04/2011 19:25

I've been wondering about this for ages, and veer between Ms, as why is my marital status anyone else's business, and Miss, as why should I hide that I'm not married?

Once when I'd put Ms I was asked if I am gay?

No, but why would that matter[cconfused]
Like my bedroom habits make a difference at the Dentist

What do other unmarried women do?

What is the right thing, if there is a right thing?

Are we to put Ms, and hide our Marital status, or put Miss, and be absolutely fine with being unmarried (which I am btw).

OP posts:

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 28/04/2011 19:26

Don't put anything.

worraliberty · 28/04/2011 19:27

Just do what you want and find something else to over think

FabbyChic · 28/04/2011 19:28

When I was unmarried I called myself Ms, Im divorced now and am still a Ms.

Miss just sounds too young for me, Im 46.

DontGoCurly · 28/04/2011 19:28

[cbiscuit]

meltedchocolate · 28/04/2011 19:33

I am heading for a divorce and have wondered once or twice. I think I am going to stay 'Mrs' actually. 'Miss' has gone for me now, it makes me sound too young (I'm a young mum with a baby face as it is) and 'Ms' I loathe. Sounds like a bumble bee. I will not be married but I don't see it matters. If I want 'Mrs' what of it?

Pagwatch · 28/04/2011 19:40

Do what you want.
I suspect if I was starting a career now I would start with Ms.
But every contact. I had formally with people at work I tried to avoid any of them and just signed letters etc Pag Watch rather than miss P Agwatch etc etc.

Having said that I adopted Mrs , not least because I took dhs family name because it is beautiful whereas my family name is bluer, and I have been Mrs Pagwatch for 22 years so will not alter it now.

Ultimately it is up to you and how people will react is their concern and not yours

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 28/04/2011 20:00

I'm a Ms, like my mother was, since the 60's. She taught me that Mrs= married woman, Miss= unmarried woman, and Ms= "Mind your own fucking business, what difference does it make to you? "

A fine tradition that I am happy to continue.

Original poster

NettoSuperstar · 28/04/2011 20:03

I'm not overthinking, so much as curious.

Of course I do what I want.
On online forms I sometime tick Dr, or Reverend, just because[cgrin]

Really though, Ms, or Miss.

I chop and change and want to choose one, and don't know which, though I'm leaning towards Miss.

OP posts:

Parietal · 28/04/2011 20:04

Get a PhD so you can call yourself Dr. Solves most problems.

Original poster

NettoSuperstar · 28/04/2011 20:05

Oh, and I hate Jammy dodgers, and would certainly never eat a crowned spikey one, so there.

OP posts:

strandedbear · 28/04/2011 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

breathing · 28/04/2011 20:06

I use Ms as Im married but have kept my maiden name

spiderlight · 28/04/2011 20:11

Parietal beat me to it! :o

orangina · 28/04/2011 20:14

I've been Ms since my mid 20s when I thought it was irrelevant for anyone to know my marital status (I was single then). I'm now married, and am still Ms. Still no-ones business.

(Haven't changed my surname either, I am still me).

orangina · 28/04/2011 20:18

Oh god, that sounded awful. For the record, while I am still me, I do (allegedly) also have a sense of humour....

(in case it might just have sounded as though I didn't..... )

StrawberriesAndScream · 28/04/2011 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fotheringhay · 28/04/2011 20:34

I love Ms= "Mind your own fucking business, what difference does it make to you? "

salingerreference · 28/04/2011 20:48

Definitely Ms. It's interesting that you think this should only be a dilemma for the unmarried- ie Ms = Miss and if you're lucky enough to have bagged yourself a man you would obviously shout about it by calling yourself Mrs. I am married and call myself Ms, because the whole thing is sexist. Men don't automatically have to reveal their marital status by their title and women shouldn't have to either.

cece · 28/04/2011 20:51

I was Ms from about the age of 21 (unmarried) and I am still Ms, 20 odd years later (and married). I like the fact that no one can tell my marital status. People do tend to assume I am divorced though

meltedchocolate · 28/04/2011 20:52

Ah see that's why I like that I am going for Mrs. Boggling the mind of the feminists as well. I am Mrs and not married, what do you say to that :o Teasing :)

skrumle · 28/04/2011 20:55

i'm Ms and have been since about 17/18 - i don't feel the need to declare my marital status to random people. i am married now (nearly 12 years) but kept my own name and don't wear a wedding ring which drives my mother insane...

yama · 28/04/2011 20:57

I too am both Miss and Ms. Mind you, I'm married. I prefer Ms but I am lazy and can't be arsed correcting anyone or changing my title with banks etc. Or maybe I don't see why I should.

DownyEmerald · 28/04/2011 20:58

I use Ms. I'm not married and Miss just feels too young and girly - the Little Miss books didn't help.

I have actually been a Ms since age 7 when my dad opened a building society account for me as Ms Downy Emerald. At the time it felt ridiculous, now not so!

And I have actually started answering to Mrs DP's name occasionally on the phone. It can make life easier sometimes if the garage or dentist or someone rings up with a message for DP. My previous "No" in response to "are you Mrs DP", was satisfying with sales types, but could make life awkward with genuine callers!

No one has ever asked me if I am gay!

Pagwatch · 28/04/2011 20:59

Actually I am Mrs as my dh was very lucky and bagged me.

And I give not a toss what people attempt to conclude should they find out my marital status. My mother is a widow and calls herself Mrs because that's what she wants to.

ullainga · 28/04/2011 21:01

If the people asking "So, is it Mrs or Miss?" can convince me that there is a reasonable explanation why they need to know if I'm married or not, sure I can tell them. I don't think that a camping shop needs to know that to sell me a tent though. I don't think business partners need to know that to discuss some contracts. I don't need my husband's permission to do any of that. Therefore I'm Ms.

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