To forget I have a baby for five (ten max) minutes in Sainsbury's

[Oscalito]

I was racing around Sainsbury's with my buggy, got to checkout, unloaded basket, raced off and got a few more things to reach £30 so I could use a money-off voucher they'd sent me, when I looked down and realised I'd somehow misplaced my buggy.

Sprinted around shop fearing the worst and was confronted in fruit and veg by a woman employee who told me very loudly they were just about to call social services and the police (and still might) and 'I should be very ?'

... at which point I interrupted and said 'I haven't slept in five months'. Slight exaggeration but definitely didn't get much sleep last night and DH has been around so have gotten used to having someone else looking out for baby over the last few days.

She said 'Don't speak to me like that madame' and I said 'I already feel bad enough' and left (this time with baby, obviously). A small crowd had gathered at this point. It could have turned quite nasty - she was ferocious - but I got out of there ASAP.

Was this a bit of an overreaction on her part? Or am I just too blase? I was panicking and fearing the worst as I ran around the shop, but when I saw the baby was OK I was just relieved. I am usually really careful, just slipped up once (won't do it again). Surely I'm not the first....?

My mum left my older brother in his pram once, outside one of the shops on the high street. She got back to the church by hers, when my sister asked if our brother had been naughty and that was why he wasn't coming home... Mum honestly hadn't realised. Yoou're not the first, and you won't be the last.

Have a nice cup of tea, and just remind yourself that she can't be as perfect as she thinks she is.

PMSL at this thread. I haven't forgot about DD yet but know one day it will happen.

the worst case ever though was my uncle took my cousin (his niece) to dublin from belfast, he went inside a pub to use the toilet she waited outside, he ended up getting pissed walked past her and got the train back to belfast!! Its now family legend and we all laugh about it.

My grandparents packed their suitacases, and did the 25 minute walk to the station ready for their holiday. It was when they were sitting on the platform waiting for the train that my mum, aged 4, said 'Didn't the baby want to come?' Baby was at home asleep in her carrycot on the dining room table, with the door shut so the noise of packing wouldn't wake her.

I was about 6 weeks old - I'd been a unit baby so couldn't have been home long - and Mum went to the local shops. She put my pram in the corner of the bank whilst she joined the queue. Fast forward half an hour and she's sitting in the kitchen drinking tea pondering over what she forgot when she was out... looking around the kitchen she spots my bottle on the side and realises what she forgot was me! She ran back to the bank where I was still sleeping and walked out with me. No one stopped or said anything to her!

She did go on to leave my sister at the side of the road when she was little and drove off. I think we can let her off the time she got me and my brother off the bus, put my baby sister in my arms, got back on to get the pushchair and the bus pulled off! He actually refused to let her off until next stop with a leg in plaster and three children aged newborn to 5 at the top of a very steep hill!

We do all do it at some point, I'm pretty sure the wrap has been my saviour although I've forgotten them both at CM/ nursery/ school a few times!

Yep, me too. My mum left me outside the butchers in my pram and walked home leaving me there.... 50 years ago.... (I'm not still there, you understand...)

When I had a new baby, I too took her to sainsburys and, at the till, realised I had forgotten something so dashed off for it, leaving the buggy by the conveyor belt. I remember thinking, hang on domestic, this isn't quite right, and nipping back for my handbag and then darting off again. I simply couldn't imagine anyone would steal a baby who would cry for five hours an evening with colic- why the hell would anyone take a baby like that ? Sleep deprivation does funny things to you.
And why call ss before doing a tannoy announcement? Loon.
Ocado sounds like the way forward.

Ok, so you have been exhausted, and tried to squeez in an extra bit of value out of you shopping trip. In an ideal situation, walking away from your buggy shouldn't be a problem, but it could have been.

I am a believer in the ideal that it takes a counity to raise a child, but sometimes stuff happens. The shop assistant sounds awful. But maybe she was genuinely upset about the 'abandoned baby' in the buggy.

I was in our local health centre last year when a nurse asked (very discreetly) if anyone knew who was the mummy of the double buggy in the outdoor yard area??? A loud, hv started a bit of a commotion, as she felt that ss should be called immediately. The lovely nurse asked her regulars (me and some other 'problem' mummies) if we had any toys, etc that we would share with the 'foundlings'. She really held it together, helping the toddler and baby with her reassuring smiles and positive attitude.

As it turned out, the missing mummy was in the toilet. She called attention to herself by groaning loudly, as she had a really nasty tummy thing going on. She got caught short, and needed the loo in a hurry, but couldn''t fit the buggy into the loo, so left it in full view of all us mummy people. She was ages (at least 20 minutes) and it would have been so easy to judge her. But she was sick. Nothing bad happened to the kids. I felt so sorry for her. She came out of the loo, totally mortified, and had to face an inquistion from the hv.

I was really cross initally, but realised that at least all those who played a part in the drama, actually cared. Each in their own way, but cared.

How much worse would it be if no one stopped to wonder what was going on with the parentless buggy in Sainsbury? So the assistant was a bit strong? She probably got all wrapped up in the moment, and probably didn't mean you any harm, just worried for your baby. You need more sleep. I have been there. Hope you get more sleep soon.

Put this event down to early baby experience. Work on the sleep issue, it will get better.

For those who asked, no it wasn't a wind up , it was the first time I had been out with ds, it was early december, and in those days we swaddled up the babies in massive crocheted blankets and the hats where both hand made. Also when I say sivercross I mean a balmoral which was a popular pram where I live then, they are not easy to see into as back then we were advised to lay our babies on their side. there were just disgusting features between them.

oh please dont feel bad! lack of sleep can make you forget to put your own blinkin' pants on. when DD1 was about 5 weeks old i forgot her and got in taxi outside sburys with shopping til driver said, er isnt that your offspring :-) well she's ok and 8 going on 17 and so far not in therapy. i think if most people are honest they have been there. i could have forgotten to clothe my fat body in that no sleep period :-) (tell us which shop it was - will beat up, up her own butt shop assistant to the ground with a nice fat cabbage)

oh and my mum apparently left me outside fruit n veg shop and came back for me ten mins later having realised she had "forgotten" something. (you'd imagine me being the 3rd would have helped but no im replaceable with a banana or some oranges) yet im still managing to get through life without therapy although she better get me something good for birthday in May the abandoning trollop. if only childline was invented then. i would call now but i dont think they would take me seriously...

I once forgot I had a baby when he was in the sling.

So baby in sling, wander into pub with friends. Sit in adults only area. Order drinks only for the waitress to say, 'I am sorry, you can't have your baby in this area'. I am like 'What baby?'.

Also had to put my handbag next to the carseat because I was so used to: Turn off engine, undo seatbelt, grab bag, get out, walk off that I almost left DS1 there a couple of times.

Have also had a heart attack when (having retrained myself) I walked around to get him out of the car and he wasn't there. Took me so long to remember I had left him home with DH...

@Morloth haha that's me EXACTLY! agreed to meet some friends at a pub - well a nice restaurant kinda place but yes they serve the demon drink so i spose it was a pub - i had my dd in a sling - same as you! 12 yo bar man says, sorry luv (luv?!) no kids, and i literally did look around and go, Eh? no kids, oohhh right, "looks down". well i tell you what, if she tries to order a vodka red bull feel free to ask her for ID! ah those were the days!

humanoctopus it could have been a problem, but the chances were pretty slim. It was at Sainsbury's in Dalston so there's a good chance my handbag would have been nicked, but pinching a baby is in a different league.

And I don't think the shop assistant was that worried, she came across as slightly deranged, actually, shouting at me and threatening me with social services and police. And trying to tell me I should be ashamed of myself, which was ridiculous. She was just an aggressive melodramatic bully who enjoyed playing to the crowd. To be honest the 30 seconds between realising I'd lost him and finding him were punishment enough, I couldn't sleep last night, and her reaction was uncalled for. It annoys me more than anything, but someone having a worse time than me would have been devastated by her attack.

There are people on this thread who got from Dublin to Belfast, moved house, made it all the way home before remembering their kids - I got from fruit and veg to the checkout. And have learned my lesson (I hope.)

I just think mothers get bullied a bit by these sorts of people - that health visitor also sounds ghastly ? and it isn't fair.

However I have had a good laugh from some of these stories....

Put a written complaint in about her attitude

PS FurCoat I'm glad you've recovered from your abandonment, gives me hope for my DS

morloth So easy to do, especially when they go to sleep. Wearing a sling is a bit like being pregnant again when you have the baby but don't have to do much at all except eat well and rest..... ahhhhh.....

Hmc I am going to. I may quote some of the examples here too.

Good for you!

I hate to say it, but I agree with the poster who said don't give your name and address. You have no idea how vindictive this woman might be and you don't want SS rocking up on your doorstep, even when you did nothing wrong.

Kungfupannda you might be right. I'll keep my address vague. And use my DH's surname, which is my standard practice when writing complaint letters

I went to pick up DD1 from nursery when she was 3.5 and baby DD was 6 weeks old. I put baby down on the floor in her car seat while i sorted DD out with her coat and bag. Then DD and i left the building WITHOUT baby DD.... i have never ran so fast in my life, i think DD1s feet left the floor..so embarassing!! Don't know if anyone noticed, no-one said anything if they did!

Some of these stories make me laugh! I still panic about forgetting DD2 and she is 16 months old now!

No need for that woman's attitude though OP

I use my parents address when I'm not sure about something. It's a good filter because I know how important something is by where it was delivered to.

SS wouldnt give a flying toss.

I have done this LOADS of times (I have got quite a few kids, I havent repeatedly left the same one)

The latest was about 3 mths ago. I got to work really early and found a parking space - YAY. Was really pleased with myself.

I then heard a noise in the back seat and realised I had forgotten to drop DC4 off at nursery.

He is usually a noisy little bugger but had stayed silent the whole journey, obviously enjoying the change of routine.

I remember locking up the house, turning all the lights off, checking on DD in bed. Going off to bed and then thinking 'somethings not right'

I then remembered I had recently had DS1 and he was sat in the middle of the living room in his rocker. In the dark.

Its probably why he is such a rebellious snotty teenager now. Its the trauma.