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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist that DS has to get his hair cut?

29 replies

winnybella · 27/04/2011 13:47

He's 9. Lately he's been insisting on letting his hair grow. Fine. But in fact he doesn't want to have it long, he just didn't want to get them cut.

One or two trips to the hairdressers ended in a massive tantrum where he basically escaped from the chair (those trips weren't with me btw).

He just came back from holidays at his GPs who took him to get a haircut but as he didn't want any length gone they just sort of graded his hair, keeping the length.

So now he has what is almost a mullet- graded hair on the sides and long in the back, down to the shoulders.

It's awful. On the one hand I don't mind him having some say re: his clothes, haircut etc, but this is really and truly an appalling haircut (as I said I wouldn't mind if he just let his hair grow long or decided to have it very short or whatever).

He refuses to go and get it cut.

AIBU to make him? Or should I just let go? I feel a bit lost- how much freedom for a 9yo? Help Smile I will heed by your advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
winnybella · 27/04/2011 13:51

bump

OP posts:
MollysChambers · 27/04/2011 13:52

I feel your pain but on balance I think YABU. What would you do? Tie him to the chair? He'll realise it looks awful in his own time.

Unless...does he have any "idols" - footballers, musicians etc...with okay haircuts that you could suggest he copy?

BluddyMoFo · 27/04/2011 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnoyingOrange · 27/04/2011 13:53

I wouldn't. IME lots of boys that age go though a stage of long hair and then decide to get it cut by themselves

Original poster
winnybella · 27/04/2011 13:57

Bluddy- I really am pretty relaxed about what he wears etc etc. I don't want him to have a haircut chosen by me.

But ,tbh, I would prefer he didn't look like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.fr/imgres?imgurl=media.80stees.com/images/products/Mullet_Costume.jpg&imgrefurl=www.80stees.com/products/Mullet-Wig.asp&usg=__aNYOsY313rczv8h2aY2TwWEHHXY=&h=500&w=436&sz=44&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=qb7qNRIosJzgPM:&tbnh=155&tbnw=135&ei=cRK4TcaiNMag8QPd84Qo&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dmullet%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DNVk%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D960%26bih%3D485%26tbm%3Disch%26prmd%3Divns0%2C47&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=330&vpy=154&dur=760&hovh=240&hovw=210&tx=129&ty=210&page=1&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:0&biw=960&bih=485" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this

OP posts:
Original poster
winnybella · 27/04/2011 13:58

Molly- he's into manga- maybe that's where he got it from...hmm.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 27/04/2011 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MollysChambers · 27/04/2011 14:01

[cgrin]

In that case my advice is to take plenty of photos for purposes of making fun of him in later years..

AgentZigzag · 27/04/2011 14:04

My 10 YO DD has a say in what she wears and how she has her hair cut, but ultimately it's still down to me to have the final word.

Like she wants shoes with heels, hahahaha yeah right DD, like that's going to happen Grin

I'm not sure what kind of hairstyle I'd not be happy with on her, probably similar to the one you've linked to Grin but at 9 if you really don't like it then he's got to go along with you hasn't he?

AgentZigzag · 27/04/2011 14:05

Just show him some mustachioed mulletted hunk from the 80's and ask him if that's what he really wants to end up like when he leaves school Grin

FoundationGarmentsOnOnesHead · 27/04/2011 14:06

YANBU, boy with long hair is wrong.

Original poster
winnybella · 27/04/2011 14:07

OK, so IANBU. Phew.

I proposed that he cuts it for the summer and then can let it grow for winter. He agreed but promptly said that it's still spring, not summer, so he doesn't have to do it yet Hmm

He's a lovely boy, but, by God, I have no idea how I'm going to get through the teenage years...

OP posts:
Original poster
winnybella · 27/04/2011 14:09

Agent- I did try to scare him with terrible mullet photos yesterday but he didn't seem to think his looked anything like that.

And on top of it all, he saya that his haircut doesn't hurt anyone and why is it such a big deal etc etc and in fact, he's right and being sensible and I'm not sure what to answer to that.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 27/04/2011 14:10

Ds has long hair - as long as it's not falling in his eyes I don't mind as it's HIS hair.

hairylights · 27/04/2011 14:10

Yabu.

cantspel · 27/04/2011 14:13

It wont be long until you have bigger battles to fight so leave him be.

zisforzebra · 27/04/2011 14:15

I let my DSs decide when and how they have their hair cut. They are 7 and 9. I remember having some awful haircuts foisted upon me when I was that age so prefer to let them make their own decisions. Luckily they've never gone for a 'grade one all over' look and mostly prefer it a bit longer and 'surfer'. It's their hair and, as long as it's clean, I'm not that bothered.

Original poster
winnybella · 27/04/2011 14:21

valium-long hair is not a problem. Or almost any other hairstyle.

But a mullet?

OP posts:
FluffyDonkey · 27/04/2011 14:21

Does he wash it himself? If he does then I don't think you really have a foot to stand on.

However if you're having to wash and dry it, then you can have your say

kreecherlivesupstairs · 27/04/2011 14:22

I really don't like long hair on boys, I know a lot of people do and luckily for me I don't have a DS.
I would be tempted to buy some sparkly clips and put them in while he sleeps.

LadyWord · 27/04/2011 14:22

You need reverse psychology. Start collecting hair magazines and pics of women with similar hair. Say "Actually I am really getting into your long hair now. It's cool, but wouldn't THIS be even better?" (display dreadful mullet travesty) Say "I've changed my mind now - I don't think you should ever get it cut." Et voila, I predict a haircut within days.

Original poster
winnybella · 27/04/2011 14:24

Grin @kreecher and Lady

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 27/04/2011 14:27

I know why it's a difficult choice because as he says it's not hurting anyone and it's not like he's asking for a tatoo (I know that'd be illegal) but it's not a dramatic decision.

But if you're really not happy with it (and I have to put my foot down when DD wants to wear long shorts with leopard print tights Hmm) is there some compromise you could come to?

So he'll not feel like an unfashionable geek at school, but you'll be able to look him in the face over breakfast without laughing.

Asinine · 27/04/2011 14:32

He is too old for tantrums. Tantrums are a result of negative or positive attention to bad behaviour, It will be hard but do not mention the H word again until he is begging for haircut. Then wait another week while you 'struggle to get an appointment'. And bribe the hairdresser to mistake him for a girl

Grin
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 27/04/2011 14:36

What's wrong with long shorts and leopard print tights? I'd have allowed that I'm sure.

I wish my ds would grow his hair. He'd look lovely (and not remotely feminine) with it tied back. BUT YANBU to insist on getting rid of the mullet, Winny Grin

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