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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU To be annoyed of at people who take kids with chickenpox into nursery?!

79 replies

dingdongmrs · 26/04/2011 09:28

Took my eldest to nursery this morning and one of the mums had her boy in a pushchair and pushed him into the nursery, only for a few minutes while she spoke to the teachers, i wondered why he wasnt staying at nursery today until she bought him back out and he was smothered in chickenpox, not scabbed over, but still oozing and weeping and looking very sore.

Im guessing she went in to tell them he wouldnt be in nursery today but could she not have phoned?! and i know they were contagious because i was walking behind her on the way home and a friend of hers went upto her and she said asked if he was contagious and she said yes! so why take him in a nursery building where other kids are??!

If my two girls get chickenpox now i know who is to blame, i know kids will get chickenpox at some point and my eldest if nearly 4yrs old so she would be ok with it, ie would let me treat her and cover her in lotion but my youngest is only 18 months and i really didnt want her to get it yet!

Sorry for ranting, im just annoyed.

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 26/04/2011 10:25

Yes, that is what I said. There is the risk that nobody can avoid, so those at risk should take steps to protect themselves. Pregnant women should manage their immunity and those on chemotherapy should probably not go to nurseries and schools where childhood illnesses are likely to appear.

ll31 · 26/04/2011 10:28

Maybe she had to call into nursery, c - do you really know she only called in to tell them child wouldn't be there... Also, not everyone has someone to leave child with - if she's on her own she'll still have to go to shops etc etc what can she do only bring that child...

Plus if she called in , spoke with someone , then left - I really don't see the issue...

Child was infectious as others have said before spots came out.

Its not possible or desirable imho to avoid every possible contagion/infection risk...

Groovee · 26/04/2011 10:31

My ds had chickenpox at 2 and then at 5. I don't think he was too young, I think he just didn't get immunity from the first dose. My friend has never had it and when we worked in the private nursery together it was going round for about 12 weeks and she never caught it despite being in one of the worse effected rooms. One of the babies didn't get it when the baby room had it and they suspected it was because mum had it when pregnant with him that he'd developed natural immunity. But he was the last child to get it and had it worse than all the others to the point that his skin couldn't be seen for the spots.

CoteDAzur · 26/04/2011 11:41

Given that chicken pox virus never leaves the body, I find it hard to believe that your DS somehow got reinfected and developed chicken pox all over again.

The very definition of chicken pox is "PRIMARY infection with varicella zoster virus".

The dormant virus can be reactivated later in life but that causes shingles, not another bout of chicken pox.

Are you sure your DS has a normal immune system? Or that one of the two illnesses were something else than CP?

ll31 · 26/04/2011 11:51

Possibly he could have got shingles - my child got chickenpox at two and had shingles at 4

GiddyPickle · 26/04/2011 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FleeBee · 26/04/2011 12:36

My DD1 goes to nursery whilst DD2 doesn't. DD2 caught chicken pox that was going to DD1's nursery yet her sister, who attends didn't. I rang the nursery for advice and they said that DD1 still could attend and they met me at the gate to do handover as I didn't have anyone to leave DD2 with.

Just as DD2 came out with chicken pox I found out I was pregnant. I've sadly miscarried and perhaps these are related. I don't know. But I was following the advice I was given, regarding my DD1's nursery attendance

xstitch · 26/04/2011 12:43

There is a very big difference in taking your children out before you know they are infectious and taking them out after you know. One is unavoidable the other is just plain selfishness and stupidity.

I am pregnant and would be irate if someone knowingly exposed me to CP or any other of the problem infections. Please note I said knowingly and am not referring to people who are in contact with pregnant women before they know they have something. You can call me selfish if you like but I have already lost 3 and don't want to lose a fourth so I will be as selfish about it as I damn well please.

xstitch · 26/04/2011 12:43

Oops YANBU OP btw.

GiddyPickle · 26/04/2011 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoteDAzur · 26/04/2011 12:54

xstitch - Have you had CP?

lazylula · 26/04/2011 12:54

I would have to take ds2 out if he caught it at a different time to ds1 as ds1 is in full time school so would have to do the school runs, I would however try to keep contact with others to a minimum and would only do the school runs on the days I could not get someone else to do it, sometimes these things are unavoidable as ds1's school clearly states that illness in a sibling is NOT an excuse for a child to be absent from school.

xstitch · 26/04/2011 13:00

No haven't cote

littleducks · 26/04/2011 13:00

I had chicken pox in February. It was diagnosed as CP not shingles as the presentation was random spots not along nerves.

I had CP as a child at about 5 and tested immune to CP in Nov.

I dont know why I caught it twice, I was a bit stressed and probably rundown. But not exceptionally so

CoteDAzur · 26/04/2011 13:01

Don't you think it is your responsibility to get yourself vaccinated for the sake of your unborn child?

GiddyPickle · 26/04/2011 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsravelstein · 26/04/2011 13:09

have to agree with cote here... ds2 and dd have just had chicken pox, and yes as far as possible i've kept them away from other people...

however i had to take dd to doctor as she got pretty miserable with it, and when i asked for a separate waiting room so we didn't infect people, doc said since it's contagious before the spots come out, the public at large are as likely to be infected walking around the supermarket with non spotty people as they are sitting in a room with spotty ds2/dd. also dd had it "subclinically" which apparently is common - had symptons of viral infection but no spots.

so the reality is, keeping one spotty child away from nursery is unlikely to have any real impact on such a common and contagious bug.

ticklebug74 · 26/04/2011 13:18

I can really see both sides of the argument here. But plenty of kids go to nursery with viruses and snotty noses which to someone like my son (who has lung problems) is potentially dangerous. So it was inconsiderate of her and for that you are probably not being unreasonable but it would be very unreasonable of you to blame her if your DC get it. Do you think she really wanted her DC to get it?. I have never understood that if Chicken Pox is really that much of a danger then why does the government not include the vaccination in the schedule?

GiddyPickle · 26/04/2011 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pooka · 26/04/2011 13:22

cotedazur - my ds1 had it much worse than dd. He was 16 months and she was 3 and a half.

DD sailed through, little bit miserable, but understood what was wrong and what we were doing to help - baths with oatmeal, soothing cream, piriton and so on.

DS1 was just absolutely covered in spots. Didn't know what had hit him. Took ages to recover as well, long after the infection had gone - was very post viral for a couple of months.

Just thought I'd put my oar in - it isn't always the case that youngsters cope better.

xstitch · 26/04/2011 13:24

Actually no not with the CP vaccine, I wouldn't accept a live vaccine. The Cp vaccine currently available has potentially quite unpleasant side effects also. I had asked about it previously and was told that my blood tests should a degree of immunity so the vaccine was unlikely to make a difference. I don't feel confident solely relying on this degree of immunity tbh. Also as others have said recent studies have suggested that there may now be 2 distinct strains of CP and immunity to one does not automaticaly confer immunity to another. Studies into this are not that extensive yet though.

I have been vaccinated against all the other infections I can be yet I would still be scared if I was exposed to one of them and if the exposure was unnecessary I would be angry. I was exposed to measles when pregnant with dd, I had been vaccinated yet I still worried.

Furthermore some people even after catching infections and or being vaccinated more than once never gain immunity to that infection. IT is not known why because usually these people have an immune system that appears to function normally in other ways. Why should these people and hose on immunosuppresants stay in for the rest of their lives to avoid someone staying in for a week with CP?

GiddyPickle · 26/04/2011 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

xstitch · 26/04/2011 13:27

mrsravelstein I have to say I completely disagree with your GP. Here we always get patients with CP, measles or similar to wait separately.

mrsravelstein · 26/04/2011 13:27

oh dear, as i said, i was keeping my kids away from others as much as possible, and i certainly wouldn't have taken ds2 to playgroup when he was clearly infectious with CP or anything else.

the point i was trying to make was that CP is very common, and not necessarily easy to predict who is contagious or not, and that therefore the OP can't necessarily 'blame' the spotty child for passing it on if her dc get it, as they could have picked it up from anyone, anywhere. (or indeed, her dc could have had the virus sub-clinically, as my dd did, and therefore could theoretically have been the one to pass it on to the spotty child...)

BeakerTheMuppetMuppet · 26/04/2011 13:28

i think the parent concerned took their DC into nursery as there as almost as many varying opinions and guidelines as there are posts on this thread!

my DD has chicken pox atm, and trying to find out a definitive answer to all the questions a parent wants to ask is a bloody minefield.

some say infectious for 10 days before spots appear, some say 3. some say no need to keep a child away from others once spots appear as they've probably infected everyone anyway, some say wait until all the spots have scabbed over.

some kids are really ill, the virus knocks them sideways (DS1 was so poorly he picked up a really nasty ear infection which was suspected as menigitis whe he was hospitalised) some just have a few spots (DD has quite a lot of spots but also been climbing the walls with energy, but we've kept her in as much as possible due to B/H and lots of people about)

so OP, i would say YANBU to be a bit hacked off at the potential harm it may do you and others, but YABU a little, as it's difficult to know what to do for the best.

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