"I don't like the shape you are right now"
I'm 10 stone 6 and a size 12. Pre-kids I was around 9.5 stone and always a size 10 on top and 12 on the bottom. After DC1 was born I got down to 9.12 before gettring pregnant again. We have 2 DC, age 2.9 and 10 months, and since having DC2 I have struggled to lose the 3.5 stone I put on, especially round the middle. I finally thought I was getting somewhere, this weekend I was even wearing quite a fitted t-shirt with a long skirt and thought I looked ok.
In his defence, it all came about after a discussion about my sister. She came to stay and DH commented several times how alike we were looking at the moment. DSis is a bit bigger than me, a size 16. (Big disclaimer: I love my sister, she is gorgeous the way she is and has always been very happy as she is). After she left I mentioned it and said how come we suddenly look more alike then. He said he guessed it was because I was broader on top now, and we are more of a similar shape. He then said he loved the shape I was when we met and delivered the killer line "I don't like the shape you are now". I got quite upset, he immediately said I'd been prodding him to say it, he couldn't help how he felt, it was just a fact that I've changed...
I know I shouldn't let it bother me, I know logically I am an alright size for a woman in her 30s with 2 young kids but I just feel gutted and keep randomnly crying when I think about it. He has since apologised, said he didn't mean to upset me , it's just a fact we're both getting older etc.
I just wish he could say 'I think you're gorgeous the way you are'. That's all it would take for me to feel comfortable with the size and shape I am. But he never does. He has a bit of a reputation among our friends for always putting his foot in it and saying the wrong thing so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
He is a good dad and mostly a nice DH, I know he loves me and he often does nice things for me. I just feel absolutely gutted that I feel like he doesn't fancy me.
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AIBU?
to be hurt and upset by this comment from DH?
49 replies
frumpymum1 · 26/04/2011 08:57
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