aibu to think nursery parents should be sane?

[namechanged883]

I think I am loosing my mind and here is the backstory to it

I manage a nursery and I am in the office 4 days out of the week with the other day being spent in the different rooms with the children interacting with them which I consider the best part of the week so on that day the deputy manager is in the office doing her admin and other things so it works well unless there is mountains of paperwork and I don't get out the office this also happens regularly

We had a woman turn up with her little one and the deputy manager being the one in the office took the visit (she is also the room supervisor) and the mother spoke to her for nearly a hour about everything to expect while her little one played in the room with the other children and workers (she was not fussed about her mother not being in the room with her) and after this mother had spoken to the deputy manager in a lot of length she came into the room and was introduced to all the staff and then me and when she found out I was the manager she was outraged that I had not been the one to give her the visit and tell her all the information she needed to know I explained to her that yes I was the manager and if she had made a appointment and requested to speak to the manager I would of given her the tour and spoken to her about what to expect at the nursery but the deputy manager was the room supervisor also and will be in the room with her daughter while she is at nursery

She then proceeds to raise her voice and shout that it wass rude of me not to immidiaty go to a visit and what kind of shoddy nursery was I running especially when she was not able to get the spaces she wanted and maybe if I had been the one to speak to her I would have been able to give her the spaces at this point I asked her to come into the office and we would talk about it there where I said to her that unfourtunatly I could not make child care spaces out of thin air and although she is entitled to free sessions I do not have the space as the nursery is full she then shouted very loudly at me that she was entitled to her sessions and she wanted them here and demanded to know why we were full when she needed childcare as she had heard it was a good nursery but so far she had failed to see that as she had been rushed through talking to the deputy manager and there was no space for her child

I explained that she had spent nearly a hour talking through things with the deputy manager and usually on a first look round before the settling in visits parents generally only spend about twenty minutes talking through the information with a member of staff and we were full up because we have a good reputation and I was sorry that I had no space and the waiting list is very full but I could put her on it but she would have to wait and may not get a space till september she then stormed out the nursery saying we were all incompitant

I then went into the room where the deputy was and we noticed that she had left her child behind in the nursery and I had to go and run after her to bring her back for which she did not apologise for or even seem shocked she had left her daughter behind

roll on 6 weeks a visit from ofsted about this incident as parent complained nursery withheld her child from her and staff were verbally abusive I was in awe but luckily we have cctv and it proved the woman was in fact crazy and ofsted praised the way we handled it but I dont understand why she called ofsted aibu to think parents should be more sane and know that they cant have the spaces they want in the middle of the year if the nursery is full and has a good reputation?

[colditz]

Spelling and punctuation is not part of EYFS core teaching, and therefore it is not necessary for a nursery manager o be particularly good at it.

Furthermore, it is facepallingly rude to trash someone's spelling, punctuation and grammar without addressing the key points of their original post.

OP, YANBU, she was clearly a lunatic - be grateful you did not have space for her child!

[exoticfruits]

I think that her behaviour was unexcusable.

I'm also surprised that people take so much care posting. I write in a rush, as I think, I don't spell check and I don't proof read-I sometimes have to add a correction, if I think the mistakes will confuse people, but generally I think they can sort out the lack of punctuation etc for themselves.

[Honeydragon]

helium, Google Chrome spell checks as you go

Pedants aside, and my respect to Pink for apologizing to the op, I think the op is so nbu, and handled this brilliantly. But 6 weeks for Offsted to contact

[TragicallyHip]

Fucking hell she walked out and left her Dd

What a loony tune! Thanks god for cctv.

[namechanged883]

Thanks to everyone who has replied and defended my lack of great spelling and grammer and understand that due to dyslexia its really hard for me


To those who dislike my grammer and spelling and think i should not work in a nursery because of this if you can show me in the eyfs where it says i should be teaching children how to spell words that i often get wrong i would use a dictonary but since at nursery age you are not teaching them to spell and read because it is frowned on my ofsted and the local authority due to schools using different methods and there being no set method nationally

i use firefox and dont have automatic spell check and dislike chrome for its lack of stability and speed so would not want to change for spell check just to keep other people happy but thanks for the suggestion

nulliusxinxverbax: i think it only took ofsted that long to come out as we have always had outstanding or near outstand in all the years we have been open and never once had a complaint or anything

bathsheba: thanks for your reply and yes we do tell people that the early years sessions are always full before we talk to them if we know before checking the booking sheets and this parent was just so sure she was getting a space she choose not to hear that part plus its not 3 hours a day set its 15 hours a week divided up by each nursery how they choose but must offer at least one option of 3 hours x 5 days a week or 5 hours x 3 days a week or if they only use 2 days no more than 12 and 1/2 hours a week you have to use the hours over 3 days to be elidgeable for the 15 hours of funding

i always tell parents the options but it is hard to get your head around i do understand that

[scottishmummy]

my children attend nursery ft and i look for nurturing,warm,spontaneous and understanding of children.able to set and maintain good ethos of care

dont give hoot about spelling and as op says it isnt nursery primary objective anyway

and re;the mum walking out. i imagine she had such a full on huff that she stamped off theatrically,without her child.total and utter blind rage

[ballstoit]

YA so NBU. To get so hacked off that you forget to take your child with you when storming out is beyond defensible. Nay I offer my congratulations that you will never have to deal with this customer again.

[GrendelsMum]

I think Bathsheba makes a very good point.

[TiggyD]

Whoever said "the customer is always right" is an idiot. The customer is sometimes right, sometimes wrong and occasionally would benefit from a good slap.
That lady was an nutter and even if you had space you shouldn't have said so. Some customers are such a pain in the arse that your nursery would be a happier place without them.
Firefox has spell-check add-on, although it doesn't recognise nutter, arse or Firefox!

[heliumballoons]

[Honeydragon]

google chrome is the new google 'cept ypu can't google it without google. It is faster (ish) and I prefer it, others don't.

[heliumballoons]

I'm on google chrome - hark at me and my spell checked posts.

Thanks honeydragon (you come up as a mis spelt word btw.

[Jaspants]

OP YANBU

[Ladyloo]

I did not even notice spelling/punctuation as was too outraged at the behaviour of the madwoman in your post. I am an English teacher with degree from Oxford and would be totally happy with nursery staff who were good but made the occasional spelling error.

My daughter is in reception and considered exceptional at reading and writing but does not understand how to use the full stop consistently, or how to spell 'constant!'

[MsToni]

I noticed the spelling errors but it didn't detract from the context of, or understanding of the post.

OP, don't let the small-minded remarks bug you...bunch of anal retentives.

You handled it brilliantly.

[hester]

My jaw has just dropped six inches at those who came on here to slag off OP for her spelling and punctuation. How gratuitously nasty, small-minded and crass.

OP, YANBU. Be thankful you won't be dealing with her anymore!

[duchesse]

Woman was definitely a sandwich short of the full picnic.

You can't ensure that every parent in the land is fully sane though but you might be doing her daughter a favour by offering her a full-time place immediately! Although you may equally not want her mother anywhere near the establishment. Also there is the small detail of no space.

Bah. You can't win 'em all.

[TandB]

I would be interested to know what point the spelling and grammar police were actually trying to get across? That the OP was making the story up as she couldn't be a nursery manager because of spelling mistakes? That the mother was reasonable because the OP made spelling mistakes?

I find it quite embarrassing when someone is in such a hurry to "get one over" on an OP to the extent that they jump on spelling and never actually give any response to the question being asked.

The OP sounds like she dealt with things entirely appropriately - I would rather have a nursery manager with that level of patience and presence of mind, than perfect spelling.

[scottishmummy]

nit picking spelling is passive aggressive and rude,dreadful but thankfully only minority do so.and they are easily ignored

[roomonthebroom]

YANBU and you had a lucky escape. I'm opening a nursery later this year and you have just confirmed to me why CCTV is so important.

WRT those criticising the OP's spelling and grammar, I worked in a school for years and quite a number of the girls left school to work in childcare- on not much more than minimum wage- and did vocational qualifications on the job, working their way up to supervisor and manager position. Many of these young woman weren't the best at spelling, but I would have no hesitation in leaving my DD with them, as they loved their jobs and were great with the children. My DD's key worker at nursery was a lovely former pupil who just loved my DD and vice versa. At no point did I think 'oh my goodness, your spelling is a bit shit, how can you possibly look after my PFB'.

OP I'd love to employ a manager like you!

[scottishmummy]

good post.warm,empathic staff are preferable to pencil up the jacksie spelling pedant

[fizzylaces]

You had a lucky escape op! Thank goodness you had cctv.

This thread reminds me a bit of the time my dd's note home from her nursery said she had seen a 'herring' while walking along the river. There is a colony of herons along the river from where her nursery is! We laughed because it was such a sweet and funny spelling error, but were mostly delighted that her key worker cares enough to share nice bits of info we can chat with our little daughter about on the way home.

[porcamiseria]

shes just a twat, simples. you cant expect EVERYONE to be normal and nice

shit happens