aibu to think nursery parents should be sane?

[namechanged883]

I think I am loosing my mind and here is the backstory to it

I manage a nursery and I am in the office 4 days out of the week with the other day being spent in the different rooms with the children interacting with them which I consider the best part of the week so on that day the deputy manager is in the office doing her admin and other things so it works well unless there is mountains of paperwork and I don't get out the office this also happens regularly

We had a woman turn up with her little one and the deputy manager being the one in the office took the visit (she is also the room supervisor) and the mother spoke to her for nearly a hour about everything to expect while her little one played in the room with the other children and workers (she was not fussed about her mother not being in the room with her) and after this mother had spoken to the deputy manager in a lot of length she came into the room and was introduced to all the staff and then me and when she found out I was the manager she was outraged that I had not been the one to give her the visit and tell her all the information she needed to know I explained to her that yes I was the manager and if she had made a appointment and requested to speak to the manager I would of given her the tour and spoken to her about what to expect at the nursery but the deputy manager was the room supervisor also and will be in the room with her daughter while she is at nursery

She then proceeds to raise her voice and shout that it wass rude of me not to immidiaty go to a visit and what kind of shoddy nursery was I running especially when she was not able to get the spaces she wanted and maybe if I had been the one to speak to her I would have been able to give her the spaces at this point I asked her to come into the office and we would talk about it there where I said to her that unfourtunatly I could not make child care spaces out of thin air and although she is entitled to free sessions I do not have the space as the nursery is full she then shouted very loudly at me that she was entitled to her sessions and she wanted them here and demanded to know why we were full when she needed childcare as she had heard it was a good nursery but so far she had failed to see that as she had been rushed through talking to the deputy manager and there was no space for her child

I explained that she had spent nearly a hour talking through things with the deputy manager and usually on a first look round before the settling in visits parents generally only spend about twenty minutes talking through the information with a member of staff and we were full up because we have a good reputation and I was sorry that I had no space and the waiting list is very full but I could put her on it but she would have to wait and may not get a space till september she then stormed out the nursery saying we were all incompitant

I then went into the room where the deputy was and we noticed that she had left her child behind in the nursery and I had to go and run after her to bring her back for which she did not apologise for or even seem shocked she had left her daughter behind

roll on 6 weeks a visit from ofsted about this incident as parent complained nursery withheld her child from her and staff were verbally abusive I was in awe but luckily we have cctv and it proved the woman was in fact crazy and ofsted praised the way we handled it but I dont understand why she called ofsted aibu to think parents should be more sane and know that they cant have the spaces they want in the middle of the year if the nursery is full and has a good reputation?

look its mn,doesnt need a spellcheck or proof reading
it is v rude to nit pick and harrumph about spelling

speaks volumes about those who seize upon a spelling mistake to make some petty point

dreadful manners,and passive aggressive

Sorry, mad woman at your nursey and picky posters on here. Glad it turned out ok for you

Crikey mikey it's a NURSERY not big school! Getting upset about a primary teacher not using correct spellings is one thing but NURSERY? There are way more important things to look for in someone looking after your preschooler. If someone is kind, patient, caring and attentive then personally I couldn't give a monkeys what their spelling is like.

Some of you are being VVVU.

OP YANBU at all a close escape! What a loon.

have never used spellcheck on mn,and never will

I was just going by the story-I am surprised people dare to post!

I think you dodged a bullet with that one, some people are seriously crazy, really pleased for you that you have CCTV. I hate when people who are completely in the wrong feel justified by their actions and do things like call ofsted. I hope ofsted called social services to check the mothers being medicated! (joking) What an example to set to your child, if you aren't getting what you want just shout louder, rod for own back?

As for punctuation, I don't punctuate my rants when I'm ranting out loud so I wouln't do it in writing. I didn't notice it when I read it and I also think forum posting is quiet different to writing formal letters, I certainly don't put smilies with bunny ears in formal letters LOL :)

Picking on people's rubbish spelling is passive aggressive, Scottish Mummy? How, exactly?

That said, the lady who ran my children's nursery school was a frightful speller, but she ran a fabulous nursery school (she wasn't involved in teaching the children - she was a manager, fortunately for everyone. And she was a fantastic manager).

I sort of understand the mum's front - we all get so hyperstressed about getting our kids into good schools and nurseries. Of course she was a crazy lady and had no right to behave like that but she must have been deeply stressed to react like that. Well I hope she finds a nursery she is happy with. You never know the backstory - like she's going to lose her job which she relies on to feed her DD if she can't find childcare etc.

I'm not defending her behaviour just pointing out there may be reasons parents may appear crazy. :)

passive aggressive because making non valid challenge,belittling someone and using spelling as an excuse to have a go

how can she work with children,when she spells like that.insinuating op is unsuitable for job

usually on internet discussion forums,people let wrong spelling and typos go unchallenged.as we understand the medium is about fast moving discussion and not composition and syntax

op posts are clear to read, and the spelling in no way detracted from the posts narrative

Well said Scottishmummy.

yes random:o can be passive aggressive too
it doesnt soften the blow,is too obvious

What I find most shocking is that it took 6 weeks for Ofsted to come out!!!

Really, if they were concerned that a child had been held captive by you and your staff, and that you had shouted and been aggressive infront of children in your care, they should have been out much much sooner.

is the worst kind of emoticon. It's such a po faced nasty way to talk to people. Being on the internet doesn't mean there should be a carte blanche to be sneery. It doesn't make you look good people.

imo,random is v passive aggressive.too gutless to say fuck off so hide behind a wee humphy face

And good for you OP for spending one day a week working with the children and your staff. I've worked in several nurseries and know this is unusual. I always think managers and headteachers should get out of their office more often. The good ones always do in my experience ! It's not just about getting the paperwork done !

Considering the content of name's OP, I can't understand the number of comments on her style of posting. Yes, it was fast and furious - but as pixie said, that's in the nature of a rant.

And the OP did have good cause to have a rant. Not only for that parent's behavior on the day but for reporting to Ofsted. Either a loony or someone with a grandious sense of entitlement. I wonder if there was any further action taken once it was shown that she stormed off and left her child behind. It does sound as though some intervention might be appropriate.

Anyway, I hope OP you can take some comfort from the result of the Ofsted visit showing how well you handled the situation.

Yes my own spelling and grammar are terrible-maybe I am dyslexic? Strange because I am an avid reader and was always told that would make me a good at spelling. Obviously never worked for me. Upon re-reading the op I see this lady is a manager and therefore her not really educating the children as such. Apologies op.

tell her to fuck off
You handled this well. Personally, I couldn't deal with the general public on a day-to-day basis, because I would act in the reasonable manner outlined above.

To the pedants you can fuck off too I am more concerned with the love and attention my dd gets at nursery than the correctness of the nursery staff's grammar. Half of them are not brilliant at English, but they clearly love and cherish dd. If they were high priced lawyers, I would and do expect better.

I think you've had a lucky escape.

I guess this is part of the 'issue' with talk of things like 'free nursery places' and things that preschoolers are entitled to.

I have to say that I find the 'free 3 hours a day' thing very confusing as to how it works in a daycare nursery setting. For my dd1 and dd2 we have only ever used our school nursery and their playgroup for our hours, and it's very easy to understand in this case.

I suspect in this case that she simply had no idea that a daycare nursery could be too full to provide the preschool care that she is entitled to... Because after all, in her mind, she gets 3 free hours a day and she, as the parent, gets to pick where those 3 hours are spent...she picked your nursery and had absolutely no expectation at all that you might not be able to provide this entitlement.

No excuse for a lot of her behaviour but there just seems to have been a completely fundamental misunderstanding as to what she is entitled to and what you are able or obliged to provide.

Who knows, she had possibly taken a job, or cancelled previous childcare, or changed to more hours etc etc, based on the fact that someone had told her that 'well, you get 3 free hours a day now your dd is a certain age'.

Maybe learn from the experience and ensure that from now on, when making the initial appointment, make it clearer to people before they walk in the door that you currently have NO space for govt. Funded sessions only (I.e. These 3 hours a day) but you have spaces for Monday mornings and all day Thursdays etc...

Yep, woman was clearly in the wrong but I suspect she was very very confused by being told she was entitled to xxxx and then after over an hour she is told that you cannot provide the xxxx that she is legally entitled to for her daughter.

Again, learn from that - ask immediately when parents do come round what care they need and what their requirements are before the parent spends an hour in an office going through likes and dislikes and requirements, only to be told there are no places at all and won't be for many months

I don't think that any nursery worker, manager or not teaches 2 and 3 year olds on punctuation and spelling.

Theres a spell check on MN? Where??

OP YANBU on so many levels. Good nurseries are always full - its common sense to know and understand this.

I am shocked she walked out and left her DD and then called OFSTED. I guess though it says more about her guilt and embarassment than the nursery. Maybe she thought you'd contact SS so she got a counter claim in first? Who knows?