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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About the BBQ I went to last night?

78 replies

ModreB · 24/04/2011 08:47

My friend invited myself and my family to a BBQ at her house. She told us that she would buy burgers and sausages, do salad, and if there was anything else that we wanted to eat to bring it along etc etc. Pretty standard stuff really.

BUT - my son works in a butchers shop, quite a high class butchers shop. So I went along to the butchers and got quite a bit of meat that I made into kebabs with peppers, onion etc. I also got some ribs and chicken. The whole lot should have cost over £30 but I obviously got it for a lot less than that.

When we got to the BBQ, she had a load of family members there that I had not met before. All nice people, everyone getting on well. Food started to be cooked, and then brought out and passed around. The problem was, the good stuff that I had bought was passed around to her family first, and me and my family really didnt get a look in! I didnt even know that the stuff that I bought along was cooked until it was all eaten!

I ended up with 1 kebab (Not even one of the ones I made with real meat) and as many burgers as I wanted - none of my chicken, beef, pork, ribs, it had all been given to her family first!

AIBU to think that she was really taking the piss, bearing in mind she didn't know that I had got that much meat at discount? BTW - I don't tell people that I can get a discount as I don't want to be in the position where they think I can get meat cheap for them.

OP posts:

ggirl · 24/04/2011 08:49

yabu
you brought the food to be shared
bad luck you didn't get the good stuff

Icelollycraving · 24/04/2011 08:51

Tough luck really.

turnitup · 24/04/2011 08:51

YANBU that is a bit off especially as you took more than you needed.

It's all a bit crazy when you have loads of people round tho and they probably didnt even realise.

stillthinking · 24/04/2011 08:51

YABU, If you had been left with no food, fair enough. I'm sure she was just busy hosting and didn't have time to see what each person was eating.

TragicallyHip · 24/04/2011 08:53

I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose. Annoying as it is these things are bound to happen. This is why I would never spend a fortune taking expensive meat and alcohol to a party.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 24/04/2011 08:54

Perhaps look at it the other way and be pleased that others had a chance to enjoy some decent meat.

Original poster

ModreB · 24/04/2011 08:54

No, it was done quite deliberately. The trays of food were offered to her family first, not put out onto a communal table or anything like the burgers and sausages.

And yes I know it is a free for all, but it was the way in which it was so blatant!

OP posts:

JimmyChooChoo · 24/04/2011 08:54

YANBU.That's a shame.I wish she had served you first.It's hard to please everyone so she might not have meant any harm.Next time don't make as much effort but you sound lovely!Wish people like you cae to my BBQs

ggirl · 24/04/2011 08:57

well in that case she was rude
she prob got mixed up with who brought what

catsmother · 24/04/2011 08:58

I was going to say that parties are usually a bit of a free for all when it comes to food and drink, and often the last time I've seen my offering is when I hand it over to the host/ess on the doorstep. However, if she was serving food to people personally it does seem rather off not to include you seeing as you bought it. I certainly would have done if that had been me.

boilanegg · 24/04/2011 08:59

TBH it sounds really petty - you and your friend.

We're lucky in this country we can afford to eat meat at all.

Next time take a packed lunch, or stay home.

Original poster

ModreB · 24/04/2011 08:59

ggirl there was no mix up. Her family members did not bring anything - I saw them arrive.

OP posts:

manticlimactic · 24/04/2011 09:00

If I had brought them and seen them being handed out to others first I'd have mentioned that I would like to eat some of the food too.

But that's just me. I wouldn't have stood there watching tbh.

YANBU but in fairness maybe she didn't realise which was which once the cooking got started.

manticlimactic · 24/04/2011 09:01

Meant to add - Especially if I had brought decent stuff and the rest was crappy cheap shit.

Original poster

ModreB · 24/04/2011 09:03

catsmother what happened was that the basic stuff, including salad, burgers, sausages etc was on a communal table where people just went and helped themselves. The suff that I brough was put onto platters and then handed round specifically to her family, not put onto the communal table.

Bearing in mind that this was after she said "If you want anything specific to eat other than burgers, please bring it yourself"

I think next time I will just not take anything.

OP posts:

TragicallyHip · 24/04/2011 09:04

Bit odd that she didn't put it on the table so that everyone can just go and grab what they want.

Do you think she was expecting you to bring loads of expensive meat?

desperatelyseekingsnoozes · 24/04/2011 09:05

I do wonder why so many mumsnetters have friends they don't like or whom they perceive as taking he piss.

TragicallyHip · 24/04/2011 09:06

Someone's got to be friends with them I guess?!

squeakytoy · 24/04/2011 09:06

I dont think YABU actually, but I also hate BBQ's as that always seems to be what happens with the food unless you are just at a small gathering, or it is your own party.

A solution would be to do the cooking yourself, or keep an eye on what is being cooked, or save the nice meat for your BBQ's at home, and just take something cheap along to the friends BBQs

On the rare occasions we have one at home, I tell guests to just bring their own drinks, and I will do all the food, and if they want something specific, by all means bring it, but cook it yerself!!..

justaboutWILLfinishherthesis · 24/04/2011 09:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goblinchild · 24/04/2011 09:08

Well, at least you know for next time. Let it go.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 24/04/2011 09:08

Hang on though, you said in your OP that you didn't realised that 'your' food had even been cooked until it had been eaten. So how do you know that it had been specifically served to her family first? Maybe it was a first come first served to those hovering nearest the BBQ; you must have been quite a way away from it if you didn't realise it was being cooked?

pinkyonthebeach · 24/04/2011 09:09

Thats rotten luck, dont be too annoyed though - best just to pity the useless hosts that cant even run a BBQ and make thier guests comfortable and well cared for.
However do be annoyed if you have reason to think that you were invited just for the quality meat!

Original poster

ModreB · 24/04/2011 09:09

Well I have brought stuff in the past, but every time before this it all went onto the communal table so everyone got a fair chance.

I dont expect to eat everything I bring, just to have the same chance as everyone else!

OP posts:

Original poster

ModreB · 24/04/2011 09:10

dickie because when I asked when the ribs were coming out, she told me that they were on the table with her cousins, and when I went to see if there was anythng left saw all the platters with the remains!

OP posts:

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