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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sorry Im a chap

37 replies

dunnoh · 24/04/2011 00:45

I know this is Mums Net. My misses is pregnant and Im shitting myself. I dont know why but Im ruddy scared shitless about the cost, about our stepson going to uni, about getting into a good school, about ruddy everything. Please be nice. Im new this kind of thing

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 24/04/2011 00:48

It'll all be fine OP Smile

DontCallMePeanut · 24/04/2011 00:48

Can I just say YABVU! Grin just teasing, have a cuppa, and chill... We don't really eat dads alive here, and it's normal to be scared beforehand. I remember being terrified when I was pregnant. You'll both be fine

BitOfFunnyBunny · 24/04/2011 00:49

Ah fub, I replied on the other thread. Where are we?

Original poster
dunnoh · 24/04/2011 00:50

Sorry I hit commit twice!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 24/04/2011 00:53

Do you have any other children?

How far on in the pregnancy is your 'misses'?

ColdHeartedBitch · 24/04/2011 00:53

I was scared witless when pregnant too. tis normal imo. Assuming this will be your first child? But even so in modern climate with the fees jumping etc its not really surprising.

DontCallMePeanut · 24/04/2011 00:54

You hit commit twice? That's bigamy! Shock

ColdHeartedBitch · 24/04/2011 00:54

Just one word of advice - dont upset the pendants they is scarey WinkGrin

Original poster
dunnoh · 24/04/2011 00:58

AgentZigzag Sun 24-Apr-11 00:53:47

Do you have any other children? No but Ive bought up a stepson who may go to Oxford (thats my ramp, im well proud)

How far on in the pregnancy is your 'misses'? Not very, but we miss-carried the first time and I dont want to go through the telling everyone thing again. Im 38 and shes 39 so we are quite old so its all a bit worrying

OP posts:
ColdHeartedBitch · 24/04/2011 01:10

Considering those circumstances then it is understandable that it is scarey more so even. Her miscarriage will have been tough on you both. Bringing up a child and living though the pregnancy is slightly different though. Bringing up a child can be scarey in itself but pregnancy is scarey too for different reasons. One of which you have given. However, there is nothing to say there is anything to be scared about. It just doesnt stop it being a normal emotion though.

WRT telling people, why not just wait it out a bit longer. I guess it depends a bit on how far into the pregnancy the miscarriage happened. prior to 12 weeks it is easier to keep it a secret imo. You just have to do what is right for u and your parent. just make sure u are both on the same page about it.

Good luck though.

LDNmummy · 24/04/2011 01:17

Just jumping on this to wish you both all the best of luck and congratulations! Smile

Original poster
dunnoh · 24/04/2011 01:19

Cheers coldheartedbitch. Christ I earn a good sum, everything is great, J lost her job a few days ago. We have a few quid in the bank but im crapping myself. Its irrational, I dont get it. And I am terrified. J has had a lad before. I dont know what to do really. Im feeding her fruit as she sees to have lost it an cant stop eating fruit. Its all a bit odd

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 24/04/2011 01:21

'so we are quite old'

I think you'll find 39 is not that old

Grin

The worries you have are good and normal.

Worry if you're not worrying.

AgentZigzag · 24/04/2011 01:23

Just let your DP lead you with what how you can help her.

Let her know you're there for her and she only has to ask as you feel a bit all-at-sea with it.

Original poster
dunnoh · 24/04/2011 01:25

Thanks AgentZigzag . Now I just need to lose weight and stop drinking so im not a fat pissshead if it ,please to someone, happens

OP posts:
Original poster
dunnoh · 24/04/2011 01:27

Sorry, Im not sure what happened

OP posts:
ColdHeartedBitch · 24/04/2011 01:31

Just be pleased she is eating, I spent my entire pregnacy puking. Poor ex was an ent..phobe (sp) sick phobic. Grin

You will be fine just keep communicating.

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 24/04/2011 01:33

"Im 38 and shes 39 so we are quite old so its all a bit worrying"

That is not old [buhmm]

You'll be fine, welcome to mn [busmile]

Original poster
dunnoh · 24/04/2011 01:37

'ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs' - Maybe I feel old when the lad is 17!. My worry is that it doesnt come off. Ive never wanted kids, but I do now. Its all so ruddy worrying and I have no control over it

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 24/04/2011 01:38

'Now I just need to lose weight and stop drinking so im not a fat pissshead if it '

You're going to be a great dad OP, you've braved posting on AIBU in MN for your little baby, that says a lot Grin

ColdHeartedBitch · 24/04/2011 01:45

First post non the less. i thought they now dished out a warning when you signed up that it wasnt for the faint hearted Grin

You are allowed to change your mind. You dont have to want kids when you are young. But no one says that when you have had a bit more life under your belt you can want them. Just dont change your mind about wanting it when bump has arrived

Original poster
dunnoh · 24/04/2011 01:46

AgentZigzag Sun 24-Apr-11 01:38:33

Tell me, is MumsNet just for Mums? (sorry that sound ruddy daft). I would imagine the flipside is Fathers4Justice but from what Ive seen of them isnt great. Well anyway regardless, thanks for all being nice. Hopefully it will work out. I fucking hope so. xxx

OP posts:
ColdHeartedBitch · 24/04/2011 01:46

*can't

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 24/04/2011 01:50

My DS is 18 and I still refuse to be old [buwink][bugrin]

Look at the logo at the top...Mumsnet By parents for parents

Original poster
dunnoh · 24/04/2011 01:51

ColdHeartedBitch Sun 24-Apr-11 01:46:47
*can't

what does this mean?

OP posts: