Sorry Im a chap

[dunnoh]

I know this is Mums Net. My misses is pregnant and Im shitting myself. I dont know why but Im ruddy scared shitless about the cost, about our stepson going to uni, about getting into a good school, about ruddy everything. Please be nice. Im new this kind of thing

Dunnoh for some like me you sound very encouraging because you got one to university and that being Oxford university well done, do what you have always done and you will be fine.

Not at all just for mums.

You wouldn't get a roasting for being a man/dad, just for being a twat.

But as you just seem to be getting your head round the prospect of accomodating this new life, you'll hopefully see how nice the posters can be.

I've never seen anything like the weird twinkle my DH had in his eyes when he first saw our two DDs, it really portrayed how much he felt for them.

What you feel for you children is a love you've never felt so deeply about anyone else before.

Sunshineonacloudyday - Its easier said than done. Hes one in a million. If my kid turns out as well as he has I will be very happy.

AgentZigzag - You made me blink a bit. Im still terrified. Hence why Im a bit leathered tonight. Just come back from florida and this is all a bit of shock. Im sure most people on here will be ; oh bless; But I take this stuff very seriously. Maybe too seriously. Doesnt stop me being woried

*cant means that one of the can in my previous post should have read cant and i was being inept as usual. There is virtually always a typo in my posts. i will only highlight and correct the ones that change the tone of my words if i spot them which is rare tbh.

dunnoh - your worries sound like perfectly normal concerns! Mums worry about those things too. I think it would be more abnormal if you weren't worried. Just be supportive to your wife and ask her every so often what she needs to you to do, or whether just to listen.
If it's any consolation, advancing age of parents doesn't mean likelihood of complications is higher. Complications tend to be random and different ones occur at different ages. But I would definitely advise making sure an early scan (around 10-12 weeks), anomaly scan (around 5months) and preferably one last scan in the last trimester (if you are concerned about your ages) - for fluid amount, baby's growth, etc are done. (The last scan is not mandatory but worth doing to keep an eye on things. Suggest requesting in advance, ie after the second scan is completed). Don't get over-worried though - try to enjoy your time together (esp some nights out) before nappies and feeds invade the conversation and the home!

You'll be fine, my brother is in sim situation, but its HIS job under threat, his DP has just got a new job at half time, bro has his son joint custody....and they've just found out she's 4 months pg :o

Everytime I've been pregnant we've had a financial disaster, but you manage, you just do :) happy days, hope this pregnancy goes smoothly and you end up posting for advice on sleeping thru and weaning :)

Congratulations Dunnoh. We were 37 and 45 when DD was born, so you aren't old.
Enjoy it all, tis great.

Dunnoh if you are really that worried then start now on your I don't take no nonsense tone so when the terrible twos comes along your ready for him or her because lets just face it you can't reason with a two year old. They would run rings around you if you let them

You obviously care lots.
Babys can be quite cheap as well. Just don't buy all the shit those baby magazine say you NEED. Like baby wipes warmers & the such!

It's good to be terrified at this stage. It means you are thinking about the reality of having a child and the reality of life for that child. Brilliant. It's what is needed to make you a good parent (which clearly you already are). It's what will make you plan ahead as far as you can to meet the needs of your child. Use the fear and worry you have now to assist you to think things through and plan - that's all you can do. Then when the baby comes you are ready to be floored with love Don't forget life with a kid is not all about supporting them through college etc, it's also about the utter joy you get each and every day just because they smile at you and love you. Good luck.