Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

what do you think of this?

70 replies

doornouseinateapot · 22/04/2011 22:49

Namechanger here.

What do you think of someone who takes their young child to a wedding, wearing a bridesmaid dress, when the child is NOT a bridesmaid at that wedding?

Probably won't reply to these, just want to know what you think.

OP posts:

fishtankneedscleaning · 22/04/2011 23:45

If the child is not dressed in the bridal colours she would be seen by all guests as a child wearing a cute bridesmaid dress I think. Some may find it cute. Others may find it odd. It wouldnt bother me TBH.

JaneS · 22/04/2011 23:46

I can't imagine the bride will notice or care. Did she go to the other wedding? Will this little girl be the only one there, or are there other small children? I guess if the bride knows the dress and, say, is close enough to the other wedding party to have been in all their photos, maybe she might be bridezilla enough to care? Maybe? Or if all the other little girls are in simpler dresses this girl might feel a bit odd ... otherwise I am really struggling to see how it would be abn issue.

GloriaSmut · 22/04/2011 23:47

At fucking last!!! Enough facts have emerged to post an informed opinion which is that I can't see what the problem is let alone see why anyone needs to tell the bridezilla bride. It seems eminently sensible that this dress gets some further use. What is it with some weddings nowadays? Only everything seems to have got irrationally precious.

PaisleyLeaf · 22/04/2011 23:51

I can't imagine anyone would mind a little girl wanting to wear the prettiest dress she's got to a wedding.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 22/04/2011 23:51

Doormouse - sorry I thought when you were asked if it was about the Royal Wedding and you posted that it was.

When I said I hated these threads I meant the ones that were in fact about Royalty or a soap or something and not an actual thread.

The cloak and dagger stuff is a bit wearying - you changed names, why not just post what's happening if you want a reasonable reply, otherwise there are just too many variables.

I have already answered your question but to reiterate, if the child is young (probably under 7?) then it's fine if it's not too similar to the actual bridesmaids dresses. If they're in pale pink and her dress is pale pink I'd probably not let her wear it. If hers is pink and theirs are another colour then fine.

TFMD - I don't mind silly threads that are clearly silly, I mind threads that are posing as a real thread and turn out to be the current soap drama or a book or something... just bloody annoying!

bubblecoral · 22/04/2011 23:54

I'd think it was rude, and the behaviour of someone who couldn't imagine their child not being everyone elses favourite thing in the world. Especially rude if the child is then forced into the pictures, which I did see happen at a wedding last year.

If there are no other child bridesmaids, it's not as bad as it could be, but if there were other children in the wedding party, I would think it very mean to them. It's also very self centred not to ask the bride, because it's the sort of thing that could cause problems. What if there are other children present that could have been asked to be bm but weren't. A bride shouldn't have to go explaining to offended parents why one child looks like a bm but theirs doesn't.

GloriaSmut · 22/04/2011 23:57

"A bride shouldn't have to go explaining to offended parents why one child looks like a bm but theirs doesn't."

I rest my case, M'Lud.

Planet Bridezilla strikes again.

Original poster

doornouseinateapot · 22/04/2011 23:57

No, no, it's real!

I was being overly paranoid about this, sorry - it has been the topic of some debate in real life. I was also trying to remain impartial while I canvassed opinions.

Seems that most people thinks it's fine and no need to check with the bride, so fine. I do have my suspicions that the mum does think her daughter should have been asked to be a bridesmaid, though.

OP posts:

Vallhala · 22/04/2011 23:59

Rude, thoughtless and PFB of the "world must revolve around my child" variety.

Afterthought...

Oh shit.... don't tell me that you're the mum of said child! I've pissed enough people off today already!

Vallhala · 23/04/2011 00:00

Phew! You're not the mum of said child!

Original poster

doornouseinateapot · 23/04/2011 00:02

No, not mum of child!

And I've no idea whether the bride will give a shit or not, so calling her 'brideszilla' seems a bit unfair.

OP posts:

bubblecoral · 23/04/2011 00:09

Gloria that's not a bridezilla thing at all!

When I made that comment I was thinking back to my friends wedding last year. She has a ds and a friend with a dd of the same age. One of her husbands friends brought his dd in a bridesmaid dress. The bride is Godmother to her friends dd, and if she was going to have a flower girl or child bm it would have been her. But she made a conscious descision not to have one, so understandably found it irritating when a child she barely knew turned up at her wedding in a bridesmaid dress and was ushered to the front of the group photos by the inconsiderate Mother.

TheSecondComing · 23/04/2011 00:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontGoCurly · 23/04/2011 00:35

I think it's bang out of order. The kid should be taught that it is not her turn to dress up and the kids parents are worse eejits for allowing it.

Bad etiquette, bad manners.

LadyCornyOfSilk · 23/04/2011 00:36

I think life's too short to stress about what a child is wearing

Bogeyface · 23/04/2011 04:59

Wouldnt bother me in the slightest if it was my wedding but then I am notoriously laid back about things like that would have others I know climbing the walls.

These days its hard to get it right though. You can go to alot of high street shops and buy occasion dresses that can pass as BM dresses, with lots of frothy tulle etc for £20-£30, infact thats what I did for my BM dresses. So if a child wore one of those then it could be misconstrued as an attempt to have the child as BM by stealth! I know that if a child had done that at my sisters wedding then she would have gone into meltdown because she would have seen it as just that.

Bogeyface · 23/04/2011 05:01

I should add though that my sister was a total nightmare bridezilla about every aspect of her wedding and we didnt speak for 2 years as a result, so she is an extreme case!

nooka · 23/04/2011 05:31

I think this is daft. The child has a pretty dress which she will have very few occasions to wear before she grows out of it. She is asked to a wedding where she will be expected to wear something pretty, she wants to wear her pretty dress but this is somehow not acceptable on the grounds it might in some way upset the bride? I cannot possibly imagine why.

If her mother is trying in some way to pretend that the child is part of the ceremony that would be annoying, but just wearing a dress seems pretty innocuous to me. I'm also struggling to visualize what 'all the trimmings' are with respect to a bridesmaid. My bridesmaids had silk shift dresses in colours and styles that suited them (mainly because when I was bridesmaid to my big sister we all wore the same pale blue silk and I never wore my dress again because it didn't suit me at all which seemed a waste).

southofthethames · 23/04/2011 05:54

As long as it's not identical to the ones the actual bridesmaids are wearing - which would be rude and a bit desperate. If it's a different dress, that is ok - maybe recycling an expensive formal dress?

Bogeyface · 23/04/2011 06:07

I guess "all the trimmings" would be a head dress of some sort and flowers which would be OTT imo, but just the dress would be ok.

I am confused as to who the OP is in this scenario though, if she isnt the childs mother or the bride then what does it matter to her who wears what?!

Flip

1 2 3