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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be loving being at home, being a housewife

56 replies

dreamingofromance · 22/04/2011 14:59

Ive been off work and my god I love this. I love making my house lovely, I love having the time to think, not having some arsehole at work down my neck. Im so happy. Ive had enough of working, AIBU in just wanting to keep my home and family?

OP posts:
LuckyWeKeptTheCot · 22/04/2011 16:45

I have been a SAHM for 7 years and loved some, hated some. Am now doing other things too but I think it's lovely you are enjoying it so much. The whole idea of feminism was to give us CHOICE, not prescribe a whole new set of lifestyles we are all supposed to conform to.

Original poster
dreamingofromance · 22/04/2011 16:58

Its not such hard work for me. One child at school (well not today)

OP posts:
jeckadeck · 22/04/2011 17:23

I'm enjoying mat leave and think I would probably really like it for about 3 years. At that point a switch would flip and I would go crazy. Luckily/unluckily I can't afford to stay at home so will have to go back later this year. I think it does depend a great deal on whether you have to do it or not. As someone who worked non stop for 17 years before having a kid without so much as a month off work, not having to work still has a great novelty factor and I do enjoy having time to to housework properly/cook/etc. But I suspect if it was all I had to look forward to the shine would come off it.

desperatelyseekingsnoozes · 22/04/2011 17:54

Of course you are not BU. I enjoy my job but would far rather be at home.

ohmyfucksy · 22/04/2011 17:56

I think most people would prefer not to work.

But the ability to be financially independent is not to be underestimated.

Original poster
dreamingofromance · 22/04/2011 17:58

I dunno, Im sick of being the breadwinner. The pressure is immense.

OP posts:
desperatelyseekingsnoozes · 22/04/2011 18:05

I agree ohmyfuck. I am lucky in that I don't need to work but I do because I like my independence and when I am there I enjoy it immensely. However when I have a stretch at home I do long for the days when I was a SAHM.

Bumpsadaisie · 22/04/2011 18:26

No, I loved it too. I actually enjoy pottering around, making some bread and soup, and doing the washing and cleaning the bathroom and taking DD swimming etc and meeting up with friends etc. I feel much more fulfilled after a day when I've managed to do all the washing and put clean towels in the bathroom than I do after an average day at my (professional) job. There are days at work when something really interesting come up and I get a lot of satisfaction. But there are lots of boring days too and I think I would be happy as a SAHM if it did not mean living in penury.

Roll on October and mat leave no. 2! Hoping to drop to just 2 days a week when baby 2 is a year old, which I think might be a nice balance.

MegBusset · 22/04/2011 18:35

I am SAHM but have precious little time for cleaning, my house looks far from lovely and I nearly had an aneurysm trying to make soup earlier. Maybe I'm doing it wrong...

noddyholder · 22/04/2011 18:37

If you love it you love it!

wendyfromtheyard · 22/04/2011 18:54

Yanbu I loved being off work. I can happily spend days pottering about the house, rearranging furniture, making things for the house. Now I'm back part-time to work I feel I have the best of both worlds. I do like the social aspect of work.

MarshaBrady · 22/04/2011 19:01

The best thing for me is change, or the potential for change.

So have had a fabulous whole year when pg and with ds1 in pre-school which did involve lots of peaceful days and meeting dh for lunch etc

But then I really needed to know I could work if I had to, so now doing a bit of freelance.

But I totally get the relief at having a break. I turned down a project last year when ds2 was too young (for me to enjoy it) and blimey even walking the aisle with a trolley felt like bliss! Absolute loveliness. Now I doing a new project.

So yanbu. Enjoy it!

MarshaBrady · 22/04/2011 19:02

Missed a word there....

everlong · 22/04/2011 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hokeycakey · 22/04/2011 21:47

I take it you have no preschoolers?

newportstateofmind · 22/04/2011 21:57

"The whole idea of feminism was to give us CHOICE, not prescribe a whole new set of lifestyles we are all supposed to conform to."

I agree, Lucky. The point is that women today have the choice of whether to work or stay at home. Well, in theory...obviously it comes down to a financial decision for many of us, rather than a choice as such, but at least there isn't a social expectation that we have to stay at home.

I think it is interesting that now that we aren't being 'told' by society that we have to stay home, many women do choose to, or would do if they could. I would love to be home more with my ds.

angrymomma · 22/04/2011 22:00

Yes definitely no pre schoolers. Also think it depends on how many DCs you have.

Yes it's all lovely in the garden, making soup (open a tin in my case), cleaning, walks in the countryside...lovely, when you only have one DC who is normally at school all day.

But when you have spent nearly 10 years with 3 DCs at home, it's not nearly quite so rosy.

Original poster
dreamingofromance · 23/04/2011 08:24

Yes but I dont have 3 , I have one and life is great. Actually doing things like photo albums and bits an pieces I havent been able to do in YEARS. Not much to do today, should be great :) Beats deadlines, constant criticism, being responsible for everyone else at work, phone calls, working night and day and weekends and all the crap at work anyday. Shame I have to go back to it all in a month

OP posts:
kansasmum · 23/04/2011 09:25

I have been a sahm since 2002- we moved to the USA and I wasn't allowed to work and I really loved it- when we returned 4 years ago my registration had lapsed ( I am an RN) and I had a 6 week old little boy so work was not going to happen!
Now I have a 17, 14 and 4 yr old and am still a SAHM and LOVE it. I suppose I work a bit- I run a toddler group 2 mornings a week but its fun not work!

When the girls were little, I worked shifts and my dh travelled a lot with work and it was hell juggling childcare- without help from my in-laws I couldn't have done it. it was very stressful.
I am lucky that I don't HAVE to work and can be at home- I am never bored and love being there for my kids - even though the teens need me less and less!
YANBU- nothing wrong with enjoying being a SAHM.

aprilbear · 23/04/2011 09:34

Nothing wrong with enjoying being at home. I was a sahm for a year or so and enjoyed it a lot, but was ready to return to work and enjoyed that too.

Original poster
dreamingofromance · 23/04/2011 09:36

I would be happy to never work again.

OP posts:
exhausted2011 · 23/04/2011 09:42

I know where you are coming from, but it depends on circumstances. I'm in similar situation.Being at home is driving me crazy because there is fo much to do and not enough hours in the day
and nowhere to put anything, no storage, too small. If I had a 4 bed house with utility room and playroom and sitting room for the adults I would be very happy.

I did win £12 on euromillions!

newpup · 23/04/2011 09:57

I an a sahm. My DDs are 12 and 9. I love it. I gave up work when I was pregnant with DD1 and have never gone back.

I really enjoy making my house lovely, walking the dog, making sure the DD's have all they need, picking them up and having plenty or time to help with homework. This is my job and I love it.

I also volunteer for a charity one afternoon a week and have been involved in pre-schools. p.t.a and school governors.

I have time to go to classes at the gym, lunch with my friends, take care of myself.

I am my own boss and I love it. I return from the school run and I decide if I want to bake cakes, walk the dog, do the chores, go for a swim, etc.

I am happy Smile

MyLifeIsChaotic · 23/04/2011 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
dreamingofromance · 23/04/2011 10:01

The idea of being able to go to the gym is like heaven to me. Working , I have never been able to.
I only have a 3 bedroom house and very little storage but I find that a benefit. I have very little to clean and have learned to be quite spartan/frugal and not collect stuff. Granted one child helps, I totally acknowledge that.

OP posts:
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