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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder whose fault it really is re: stop pimping our kids

57 replies

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 21/04/2011 22:30

Have seen the sex education show the past few nights and can't help but wonder...

I have heard loads of comments online and in RL about how disgraceful it is to sell padded bras for 6yos, high heeled shoes for 5yos and knickers with 'come and get it' and the like for anyone under 16. But isn't it supply and demand? I have not heard one person say 'Yes, I buy these items for my children' but at the same time, some parents must. So why is nobody looking at the deeper issue of why some people think this is appropriate. Seems to me to be cutting off supply temporarily without getting to the root of the problem.
Anyone on here willing to admit that they buy things like these and tell me why? I could get the argument that the padded bras are actually t-shirt bras for a smooth outline but heels for growing feet and slogan knickers are beyond me.

So, if you believe that items such as these are wrong, doesn't the fault lie with whoever makes the purchase rather than/as well as the retailer who stocks what is a desired product?

OP posts:

vess · 21/04/2011 23:44

If you make something look desirable and shove it into people's faces, some will resist and some will give in.

Maybe you can't save people from themselves, but you should at least try and save their children...

Original poster

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 21/04/2011 23:46

nobetter I think the problem is that the items were stocked in the 'girls' dept. I needed a bra quite early, so my mum took me to get properly measured and got a bra from a specialist department. I think any young girl who really needs to be wearing a bra should be properly fitted. Also, I do not think padded bras should be stocked in kidswear full stop. If you are a very small adult and want a padded bra, they are out there, you would not look in the children's section of Matalan!

OP posts:

strandedbear · 21/04/2011 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 · 21/04/2011 23:47

I think the fault lies 30% with the parents for buying the stuff, 30% with the shop keepers for stocking the product the rest with the manufactor and advertising

DiscoDaisy · 21/04/2011 23:48

Maybe I shouldn't judge people by my own standards. If I say to my children an item of clothing isn't suitable then it isn't suitable and if they still protest then they have nothing bought for them.
(need an evil mother smiley)

vess · 21/04/2011 23:50

The shops rely on children liking and wanting this stuff.
It's a bit like junk food. Tempting.

SueSylvesterforPM · 21/04/2011 23:53

Its 6 and 2 3's

for a parent to buy that sorta stuff (knickers bikinis high heels) you'd have to question their mentality. but at the same time If it wasnt there no-one would buy it.

vess · 21/04/2011 23:55

Just to clarify, I personally would never ever buy this stuff and do not approve of anyone who does - but if people are buying it, then surely more should be done that to just say 'well, they shouldn't!'

SueSylvesterforPM · 21/04/2011 23:58

I think any young girl who really needs to be wearing a bra should be properly fitted. Also, I do not think padded bras should be stocked in kidswear full stop. If you are a

It would be intersting to see if the padding is to enhance or cover.
I've killed every other thread with this so forgive me, I felt much more modest and confortable as a young person when I wasn't wearing a bra that had 9 inch nail potential IYSWIM that attracted alot of unwanted attention with me as 10-14 year old,some people who hold the same view.
but not for 6 year olds like, Like i said depends if these bra's push up.

Asinine · 22/04/2011 00:02

Parents who buy shoes for dcs under 10 which are so impractical that they can't play, climb or run really wind me up.

I'm sure silly shoes are contributing to childhood obesity, these dcs can't exercise because of their high heels

Let kids be kids

nobetterthanthat · 22/04/2011 00:03

DingDong lots of girls prefer padded bras because it covers them up a bit more if they are self conscious about nipples. They should be properly fitted imo but the same goes for shoes but in the same way some people buy crappy shoes for their dcs some people buy crappy underwear. It doesn't mean they are 'sexier', it means they are from a cheap shop. I don't like this new trend for making girls who need bras feel like they are wearing slutty clothes/adult clothes/sexualised clothes when really its just functional underwear that they need. Its not their fault that adults view bras as sexy. Adult women aren't made to feel that they are overly sexual if they wear anything more attractive than a vest made out of dishcloth so why should pubescent girls?

Boys stop wearing 'slips' with pictures of dinosaurs on them and start wearing trunks with massive elastic waistbands and nobody bats an eye but a girl who needs a bra has to enter this judgey minefield where anything pretty or fashionable can be interpreted as slutty.

midlandsmumof4 · 22/04/2011 00:04

Little girls like to emulate their (young) mums.

Original poster

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 22/04/2011 00:05

SueSylvesterforPM I am still more comfortable in a padded bra under a t-shirt for that very reason! In my OP I suggested that I could understand the argument that padded bras could be to protect modesty, although implying that a 6yo should be aware of their nipples being on display is a bit worrying. I cannot, however, understand knickers with provocative slogans on being sold as childrenswear.

OP posts:

howdoyoueatyours · 22/04/2011 00:07

I tried to watch that programme but the presenter angers me. I also thought a lot of what was being deemed inappropriate was the makers of the programme looking too deeply into things and then asking leading questions to members of the public to make them agree. The little knicker shorts with the word angel on ffs - I call my dd who is 3 my angel!
I also wouldn't call 2 inch heeled shoes for kids hooker boots - uncomfortable and possibly foot damaging maybe but not sexy in the least when on a CHILD. And a 2 inch heel wouldn't be considered particularly risque even for an adult surely.
And I don't quite see how showing schoolchildren a 70 year old mans penis is 'letting kids be kids'. In any other context it would be a sex offence. Maybe I'm missing something.

Original poster

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 22/04/2011 00:14

howdoyoueatyours totally agree about the presenter. I also HATED the fact that they went into individual stores to make a point. Why not protest outside head office rather than attack some junior shop assistant trying to earn a living.

But I do think that if parents think that these items are appropriate for children they should be saying something along the lines of 'We are not sexualising our children, we find these products fun and functional and modesty-protecting, stop putting words into our mouths and let the shops sell them'. From the way the show was slanted, it was clear nobody was willing to stand up as a parent and say, 'Actually I buy this for my DD because...'

My issue with high heels for kids is the foot damaging thing, that is how I interpret 'let kids be kids', as letting them be comfortable and wear clothing appropriate to running around, having fun etc.

OP posts:

SueSylvesterforPM · 22/04/2011 00:18

SueSylvesterforPM I am still more comfortable in a padded bra under a t-shirt for that very reason! In my OP I suggested that I could understand the argument that padded bras could be to protect modesty, although implying that a 6yo should be aware of their nipples being on display is a bit worrying. I cannot, however, understand knickers with provocative slogans on being sold as childrenswear.

I totally agree I found the knickers,heels ,bikinis and pop videos much worse

SueSylvesterforPM · 22/04/2011 00:18

thankyou for reply all other threads have just ignored

howdoyoueatyours · 22/04/2011 00:22

The people on the street did seem to overwhelmingly support the idea behind the programme but we don't know how many they edited out. I'm sure some of the stuff was probably inappropriate - did someone mention some pants with 'come and get it' on them - that's awful. But most of the stuff I saw you would actually have to be pretty dirty minded to put any sexual slant on it at all. Like the knickers with 'little devil' on or the pink shorts (or hotpants as they called them!!!) which I thought would look perfectly fine and be nice and cool for a 7 yr old with a vest and some sandals in the summer. It seemed like anything that wasn't covering kids from head to toe was fair game and it sort of diluted the point for me.

Original poster

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 22/04/2011 00:32

Yep, hotpants looked like shorts to me. There were knickers with totally inappropriate slogans on but I agree that lots of the clothes would have bee perfectly acceptable if they were worn sensibly. The heels on the other hand...

SueSylvester a good point raised and one that I agree with. I still struggle with any 6yo actually having a padded bra though on the basis that a child of that age should not be aware of whether their nipples are visible through a t-shirt. That awareness, and it has to come from somewhere, is what stops them being children, not the item itself.

I also wrestle with the fact that I am constantly reading that a woman should be able to wear whatever she wants without inviting unwanted sexual male attention, that it is up to the men to control themselves and for the woman to be free to dress however she likes. Does this extend to children? In which case, so what if they wear clothes thought of as 'sexy', or does this mean they are inviting unwanted attention?

OP posts:

SueSylvesterforPM · 22/04/2011 08:31

SueSylvester a good point raised and one that I agree with. I still struggle with any 6yo actually having a padded bra though on the basis that a child of that age should not be aware of whether their nipples are visible through a t-shirt. That awareness, and it has to come from somewhere, is what stops them being children, not the item itself.

I do think 6 is too young, I've never heard of a 6 year old actually needing a bra, could well br wrong though. I'm speakin 8,9,10+
it was kids my own age who the the 'you got nipple on' brigade' and also its not particularly nice for other people to see,

carabos · 22/04/2011 08:34

Was in Pizza Express recently in our very middle class small town. Lots of families in there and the three families nearest us all had girls aged about 8 or 9 and all those girls were wearing what I would describe as a "full face" of makeup. There was also a party group of girls of about that age on a separate table and they were made up in the same way. However, they weren't wearing "unsuitable" clothes, with the make-up, mainly pretty dresses and looked very very strange indeed. It was quite unsettling.

BunnyWunny · 22/04/2011 08:47

It's parents fault 100%

What six year old is nagging their parents for high heeled shoes, so much so that they need to "give in'???? You can ignore them and buy sensible shoes/knickers/etc.

Six year olds are too busy running around and climbing trees to be bothered- unless the parents have them constantly in shops pointing out the heels, padded bras, hot pants and the like. Parents fault 100%.

Shops are governed by supply and demand. Children can be controlled by parents. Only stupid parents buy stupid things, and only stupid parents can't control what a 6 year old wear
s. End of.

Goblinchild · 22/04/2011 09:18

Parents' fault.
Their inability to say no, their inability to resist exterior pressures and raise their children according to their declared ethics, their inability to take responsibility for their choices and needing someone else to blame.
Then they get all cross and panicky when their children show the same poor judgements about friends and partners and drugs and drink. Or they think it's fine and that's what they want for their children.

SardineQueen · 22/04/2011 09:49

In an ideal world all parents would be amazingly wonderful and there would be no obesity, neglect, inappropriately dressed children, children seeing things on TV and computers that they shouldn't etc etc etc

We don't live in an ideal world though, so for all the children who don't have parents with the sense / wherewithall / taste / strength / whatever to say no to this entire tidal wave of stuff, isn't there a case for protecting them at source?

SardineQueen · 22/04/2011 09:51

Some parents are mentally ill
Some are stupid
Some are cruel
Some are neglectful
Some just don't care
Some genuinely can't see a problem
Some simply have shit taste

All of those things could mean that they are going to be less likely to say no.

What is wrong with society as a whole looking out for the children of these people by saying that the more outrageous examples of this trend shouldn't be on the shelves?

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