to wonder whose fault it really is re: stop pimping our kids

[DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason]

Have seen the sex education show the past few nights and can't help but wonder...

I have heard loads of comments online and in RL about how disgraceful it is to sell padded bras for 6yos, high heeled shoes for 5yos and knickers with 'come and get it' and the like for anyone under 16. But isn't it supply and demand? I have not heard one person say 'Yes, I buy these items for my children' but at the same time, some parents must. So why is nobody looking at the deeper issue of why some people think this is appropriate. Seems to me to be cutting off supply temporarily without getting to the root of the problem.
Anyone on here willing to admit that they buy things like these and tell me why? I could get the argument that the padded bras are actually t-shirt bras for a smooth outline but heels for growing feet and slogan knickers are beyond me.

So, if you believe that items such as these are wrong, doesn't the fault lie with whoever makes the purchase rather than/as well as the retailer who stocks what is a desired product?

[SardineQueen]

The mentally ill thing, I'm thinking of things like depression, where sometimes it can be hard to deal with badgering on top of whatever else is going on.

It's a very right wing idea isn't it - if you don't meet our standards then your children will be punished for it and that is right and proper.

[ivykaty44]

If its parents fault 100% then what happens when the child goes off for the day with aunty or uncle or some other family member and they come home with these ridiculous shoes? How is it the parents fault 100% then, as if they where not made by the manufactor or stocked by the shop then this couldn't have happened.

This is what happened to me, my ex had the two dd's for the weekend and grandma took them shopping and wanted to be "nice" grandma and buy the dd's what they wanted.

Then I have to be nasty parent and say you can't wear those shoes - tears, tantrums and your nasty its our present why does it have to go back to the shop.


Can you imagine telling your dc they have to return a present they have been given?

I felt awful but I don't want my dd's going through life with disformed feet so I gave the shoes back to grandma and said she had better try and get a refund.

I then have ex on the phone shouting I am just mean and nasty.

How is this 100% mine as the parents fault?

The shoes went back to the shop and got exchanged - but if the shop hadn't stocked them in the first place I wouldn't have had such a nasty time with everyone else when I stood firm.

Thankfully this was a few years back and grandma has never purchased stupid items of any type of clothing again and is wary of buying stuff incase I suppose we have the same drama

[Goblinchild]

I agree with a lot of the campaigns to make age-appropriate clothing and other materials, but the real pressure is consumer power. So the campaigns need to be driven by those most directly affected.
There are several issues, what's being sold is one, and how they are being manufactured is another. So the sweatshops won't close if we ban 4" heels and push-up bras for 9 YOs, they will just turn to manufacturing something else that sells well.

[SardineQueen]

It's not working though is it, the consumer power thing. I'm not buying this shit, I doubt many on this thread are. But people somewhere must be buying it. So us saying "well they shouldn't" isn't actually going to get any results.

A bit like cold calling. I hate it and would never buy anything from a cold caller. I would imagine that it is quite obviously something that people would want to stop, and not buying would stop it, and who would buy from a cold caller anyway? But they keep ringing (well they don't cos I've got TPS but you get my drift) so someone somewhere is buying this stuff.

[Bogeyface]

I do feel that the designers etc are partly at fault but there are certain types of parent that will always buy inappropriate stuff for their kids. There was a girl in my year at junior school who was always being told off for wearing mini skirts and boob tubes at school (early 80's) and her mum kicked up a right stink. She said that as there was no uniform her dd could wear what she liked. My mum still talks about the "mini skirt row" whenever this subject comes up!
Then, last summer one of the mums who I know-ish at school, v well to do family, moaning like hell that her dd had been told that she couldnt wear her new shoes at school. The argument wsa because high heels arent allowed. This girl was 7/8 at the time and the mother was disgusted! I saw the shoes in question and they were definetely not kids shoes imo, they were like a mini version of strappy "going out" shoes that an adult would wear! She also wears mini skirts rather than pinafores, fashion coats rather than ones that will actually keep her warm and dry etc. There is 30 years between these 2 arguments so i think that it will always be thus.

[Bogeyface]

Oh and the girl at the centre of the "mini skirt row" was the girl that we all wanted to be! I didnt care that they weren't appropriate clothes, they were grown up and I wanted them instead of the boring kids clothes me and my friends were forced to wear. Luckily my mother had more sense than to let me, but pester power does work in some families, especially as has been pointed out, in the cash rich time poor families.