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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should an eight year old be still......

44 replies

Spamspamspam · 21/04/2011 21:35

Having his bum wiped by his mum?
Being constantly asked if he needs the toilet?
Have a tissue shoved up at his face constantly and told to blow?

Arrgghhhhhhhhhhhh!

OP posts:
vintageteacups · 21/04/2011 21:47

Why do you ask? Are you meaning you know someone who's child does that?

Perhaps he suffers with paediatric constipation? My dd is 9 and mostly has me to wipe her bottom. We also have to check whether she needs the loo - she doesn't always recognise the urge to go and the slow road to becoming continent again, having had chronic constipation, means that even simple things like wiping their own bottom, can take a while to perfect and shouldn't be rushed.

At D's check ups at hospital, the first question they always ask is if she's wiping herself yet.

create · 21/04/2011 21:49

My eight yo does get him bum wiped Blush

He wipes his own nose (mostly on his sleeve Grin ) but we had terrible issues with soiling, which still occur occasionally if he's stressed, so I just haven't pushed the wiping thing.

I'm sure there will be those who judge, but I'm sure we'll have it cracked before he goes to Uni Smile

Spamspamspam · 21/04/2011 21:54

No problems with his bowel movements at all, nothing wrong with him in any department, I have known him since he was born.

I just can't understand why he is still being treated like a baby, can't dress himself, can't dry himself, can't get himself a drink or a snack.

Well he could if he was allowed....

And yes I am a bitch bitching about his mother on a public forum but there is so much more I could say, I have had four days of hell with someone whose parenting techniques are so bizarre she is willing to treat me and my daughter like crap in order to keep her son like a baby and treat me with disdain about my parenting techniques like letting my child take some responsibility and grow up.

OP posts:
MrsBananaGrabber · 21/04/2011 21:55

SN aside I would say that an 8yo should be wiping his own bum.

dementedma · 21/04/2011 21:56

I was sure this thread was going to say "should an 8 year old be still.....breastfeeding?"

ohmyfucksy · 21/04/2011 21:59

Is the mother one of those who lives her entire life through her child?

lockets · 21/04/2011 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBananaGrabber · 21/04/2011 22:02

I want nothing to do with my 7 or 9 year old DS's poo, my 4mo DD's poo is just lovely [buwink]

NimpyWindowmash · 21/04/2011 22:04

I have an 8 yr old whose bum I have not wiped for about 5 years. So yes I would be a bit Hmm as well.

heliumballoons · 21/04/2011 22:05

My 6yo still asks me to do it. Shock

He can and does do it himself though. Smile

exoticfruits · 21/04/2011 22:17

NO

howdoyoueatyours · 21/04/2011 22:19

How have you and your daughter been treated like crap?

Fernie3 · 21/04/2011 22:22

not unless he has a specific problem with doing it himself. I dont wipe my 6 year olds and only very very rarely need to help my 4 year old.

sails · 21/04/2011 22:27

How does he manage at school?

AgentZigzag · 21/04/2011 22:32

I would never wipe a DCs bum over a certain age (can't remember how long ago it was Grin) but they can still have trouble doing it properly even when you don't, you've just got to go on and on to them to do it properly when you see the evidence that they haven't

But it doesn't seem as though the bum wiping is the real problem.

What else was she up to?

LynetteScavo · 21/04/2011 22:38

My 8 yo would be Shock if I even attempted to wipe his bum!

justusfive · 22/04/2011 00:19

My 5 year old wipes her own bum. Just as well really because I would not wipe it for her! Ewwww. Shock If she can do it in school she can do it at home. That's what I say anyway. [buwink]

FriedEggyAndSlippery · 22/04/2011 00:32

Yes I'll be nosy too, why has her parenting affected you?

NearlySpring · 22/04/2011 00:33

Does he have any SN or medical reason why he isn't doing things himself?

I don't know about other kids but my 6 year old dd pretty much does all of her own "personal" care.

-Wipes her own bum
-Brushes own teeth
-Runs her own bath, washes herself (I do wash her hair though)
-Brushes her own hair and ties it up
-Gets herself dry and dressed after washing
-Can get her own cereal / easy snack / juice etc
-Keeps her own room tidy (obviously I do the cleaning)

cat64 · 22/04/2011 00:40

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ColdHeartedBitch · 22/04/2011 01:29

Your 6yo keeps her bedroom tidy NearlySpring ? ShockEnvy Could she come teach my ds how to do that. he can teach her how to make a mean cup of coffee or tea.

The tolieting in itself is not necessarily shocking as there could be plenty of reasons why it is not being done by him. However there is hinting at other things that are going on. So perhaps it is not just the toilet issue that is the problem.

MadamDeathstare · 22/04/2011 03:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foreverondiet · 22/04/2011 04:35

I have a 4 YO DS and 7YO DD. Haven't wiped DD's bum for ages, but if she has upset stomach she might might ask esp if there wasn't any moist toilet paper as she is very hygenic! I do still wipe DS's bum sometimes - he manages at school but underwear often is a bit dirty...

Sadly we have to ask DS (nearly 5) constantly if he needs a wee, still wetting himself daily. Hope he'll have grown out of it by 8.

But yes by 8 should be wiping unless SNs.

Spinkle · 22/04/2011 07:25

I have to wipe my sons bum. He is nearly seven. He has special needs. Hope that doesn't make me a bad mum.

StewieGriffinsMom · 22/04/2011 08:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.