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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate it when people resent you for having an 'easy life'?

46 replies

crashingwaves · 21/04/2011 20:03

I suppose I do have a nice life but it isn't always easy. But anyway, AIBU to ask others to be happy for me rather than to moan, sigh, make constant references to them being tired, paid less than me, work more than me, etc.

I think I am being unreaonable actually, I need new friends :(

OP posts:
GandTiceandaslice · 21/04/2011 20:05

YABU for stealth boasting.

Pagwatch · 21/04/2011 20:10

Yanbu to think that people can be really vile and simplistic thinking that a bit more cash = no problems.
But yabu to not realise that people who are having a hard time won't see that. You need to be gracious.

jojowest · 21/04/2011 20:11

depends if you are a boaster and smug

SpeedyGonzalez · 21/04/2011 20:12

Are you the Queen? Grin

I think this was probably an ill-advised thread. You may well get flamed.

Maybe you should ask MN to pull this thread so you can draw a line under it and think again?

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 21/04/2011 20:13

YANBU,
Someone I used to see at toddler group said to me in the street "you still working hard as a lady of leisure then?"
Am not a lady of leisure, am a SAHM, and run a small cake business, but anyway WTF business is it of hers? she could have just said hello how are the kids? Which is what I said to her in response.

HughManatee · 21/04/2011 20:13

Nothing wrong with enjoying an easy life, as long as you're not a gloater.

Pagwatch · 21/04/2011 20:13

Yes it does depend if you are smug or boasting.
And it depends if the other people are chippy and unpleasant.

nulliusxinxverbax · 21/04/2011 20:14

By asking them to be happy for you, you can guarantee they will not be happy for you.

How about turning it around, and having a bit more understanding for people who have it harder than you.

expatinscotland · 21/04/2011 20:14

Smugness, however, is never an attractive trait.

nethunsreject · 21/04/2011 20:14

I'm too busy drinking gin and eating bon bons to care.

Original poster
crashingwaves · 21/04/2011 20:15

Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound smug, I really didn't. I was just trying to be fair! I'm definitely not the Queen, lol!

No, I meant nice life as in - we're not living in some third world country with no food :( I mean, we have our own home, one DS (don't seem to be having any luck with baby no 2 but I am blessed with one, I realise.) both are in work and I know these are things that I or indeed anyone should take for granted so I do try hard not to.

But I have a friend who just makes me so unhappy when I speak to her because of her sneering comments about many aspects of my life: my child, my job, my dog even (!) everything I have is because of DH not me, and everythin I don't have is my fault. Oh and her life is awful and I should think myself damn lucky. So that was what prompted my thread, I honestly didn't mean to sound smug and I apologise if that is how it came across (PLEASE don't flame me Grin) x

OP posts:
nethunsreject · 21/04/2011 20:17

She is not much of a friend. I'd ditch/distance myself.

Original poster
crashingwaves · 21/04/2011 20:18

I think I am going to have to but it's still upsetting me and I don't even fully know why :(

OP posts:
HughManatee · 21/04/2011 20:18

She's sounds like the sort of 'friend' who will always find something to criticise.

Pagwatch · 21/04/2011 20:23

Yep, ditch her crashingwaves. I have one ex friend like this and one of my sisters is the same.
When my dad died she spent the whole time insisting that I should pay for everything and then bitched about me and cut me and my children out of every aspect of the funeral. She is a fucking bitch.

But most people are reallycool. And if you friend didn't have 'it's alright for you' to hit you with, she would find something else.
Dump her

ENormaSnob · 21/04/2011 20:25

Dump the cow.

GandTiceandaslice · 21/04/2011 20:26

crashingwaves, ditch her. Worra cow.
Good luck, hopefully baby 2 will happen soon. Otherwise I have a tantruming 2 year old you can borrow... Wink

Portoeufino · 21/04/2011 20:26

I have friends who are stinking rich and friends who are single parents on benefits. I don't feel the need to make comments about their lifestyles in either case. If one of them was having a hard time, I would help if I could. As others already posted, this doesn't sound like much of friend. I wouldn't put up with it.

I know someone who is absolutely loaded in relative terms. She has a lovely house and a great job. She desperately wanted children but only managed MCs. Her dh had a midlife crisis and dumped her. He was the love of her life. Her dad died, her mum needed extensive surgery, her sister got breast cancer. Materially. she has everything. In reality she has been having a really shit time. Having a "comfortable" life doesn't make you immune to pain.

Ormirian · 21/04/2011 20:27

Of you could try being sympathetic to those whose life is harder.

LadyGraceMontyColman · 21/04/2011 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SugarSkyHigh · 21/04/2011 20:29

Crashingwaves I LOVE YOUR NAME and also YANBU - sounds to me like your so called friend has "issues."

LadyGraceMontyColman · 21/04/2011 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarshaBrady · 21/04/2011 20:32

What does she think is so bad about her life compared with yours? (in general I mean, not details etc)

I don't know. I support friends with woes and feel happy for them without. I can't remember anyone saying it's alright for you... etc That would irritate.

QuickLookBusy · 21/04/2011 20:33

Get rid of her. She sounds like a jealous, bitter cow person.

I wouldn't want someone like that in my life.

cat64 · 21/04/2011 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn