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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To bin or freecycle this gift to my DDs

54 replies

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 21/04/2011 09:36

My lovely sister has 2 DDs who're a bit older than my 6 and 3 year ld and she often passses down clothes etc.

Last week she turned up with a MASSIVE wicker hamper full to the brim of BRATZ and accesories....loads of the horrible things.

Naturally the DDs fell upon them as though they were the crown jewels and I thanked my sis eventhough inside I was screaming NOOOOOOOOOO!

I hate them...the ugly things.....and now the older DD has decided they are ALL HERS and she preens them and pets them for ages....refusing to let little DD have a go.

They're ugly and hideous and causing rows...what do I do? Give them back?Freecycle? Ebay or bin....there are so many of them they're unpostable.

OP posts:

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 21/04/2011 10:39

no help to you OP but Soooo glad i have a boy! i think they are foul too when i see them in shops and would be loathe to give them house room.

lljkk · 21/04/2011 10:42

Revel in your ignorance, Grovel. Some things are not worth knowing .

heliumballoons · 21/04/2011 10:46

I hate go at the name.

But I agree they have been given to your DD's. If you didn't want them to have them you should have said no then.

I'd be more worried about the fact your DD aged 6 can't/won't share tbh. (sorry)

fedupofnamechanging · 21/04/2011 10:48

I think you will offend your sister if you get rid of them. If she wanted them sold on ebay or given to a charity shop she would have done that herself.

If your DD's didn't love them, then it wouldn't be so bad to return them to your sister so she could pass them on to someone who would want them, but your DD's do love them and I think it would be nasty to take them away just because you dislike them.

Personally, I am not wild about Bratz. I think they are horrible, sullen looking things, but in your shoes I'd let the DC have them until the novelty wore off and they got bored, then I'd put them in the loft.

Nagoo · 21/04/2011 10:49

Tell the 6 yr old if she can't share then they are al going in the bin. Then do it (well freecycle or whatever). Problem solved.

bonkers20 · 21/04/2011 10:53

Ask your sister to check with you before she brings stuff over again.

Lonnie · 21/04/2011 11:07

I agree they are not yours to sell or give away simply because you dont like them what if your partner/husband decided he didnt like something you loved and just gave it away that isnt ok to do.

you as their parent can put down rules as to how to play with them but honestly it will pass give it 6 months and they will have moved on to something else..

southmum · 21/04/2011 11:15

is this not a bit over the top? If your dds like the stuff just leave it fgs

Really dont get the drama over a few dolls, very odd.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 21/04/2011 11:19

Just let em play with the bloomin things - the phase/novelty will soon pass, well, it wil unless you make a big fuss about it and then they will want to play with them all the more.

Once they havent been played with for a few days or whatever if you still cant stand them then just get out the black bin bag, they will probably never notice!

I do think you are over reacting tho....just coz you dont like them doesnt make them wrong...I know you are the parent but even so.......would you let your DH/DP bin something of yours just coz he doesnt like it???

porcamiseria · 21/04/2011 11:31

so precious, they are toys...does not mean they are going to grow up with aspirations to live at the bloody playboy mansion and serve Hugh

if they like them.....

Nagoo · 21/04/2011 11:38

betty your DP is not in charge of you. As parent you are the boss of your kids.

great name btw :)

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 21/04/2011 11:42

I had none of the trendy dolls when I was a child - my mum disapproved of them, and the best I got was a very basic dolly that she'd made some clothes for - nothing like Barbie and her lovely outfits that I craved. Eventually I did get given a second hand barbie-type doll and some clothes and I loved them.

Looking back, I feel like my mum's attitudes marked me out as 'different' and I still remember hating that feeling.

If you make a huge fuss about these dolls, your dds will only want them more - forbidden fruit. I do think you have every right to make sure that they share nicely, though.

Letting them play with these dolls isn't going to undo all the good that the rest of your parenting does, I promise you. But if you take the dolls away, your dds will remember.

nepenthe3 · 21/04/2011 11:42

YAB a little unreasonable. My mother used to strongly disapprove of 'Cindy' and 'Barbie' dolls and I hankered after one as a child. On my ninth birthday a naughty Auntie bought me a Ballerina Cindy. It was my best present ever, and I really couldn't see what all the fuss was about. If she's enjoying playing with them and they are keeping her occupied, why not? She'll possibly get bored of them anyway. I do have to admit I've never seen a Bratz doll though - off to google!

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 21/04/2011 11:44

Nagoo - I agree that the parent is in charge of the child, but I don't think that means that the child owns nothing themselves, and the parents can do what they want with the child's things. If a present is given to a person, it belongs to that person, surely? We want children to respect their possessions - well how can they learn that if a) they don't actually own anything and b) their parents 'disrespect' them by arbitrarily taking their toys away?

nepenthe3 · 21/04/2011 11:46

Letting them play with these dolls isn't going to undo all the good that the rest of your parenting does, I promise you. But if you take the dolls away, your dds will remember.

Well said, StayingDavidTennantsGirl.

CoffeeDodger · 21/04/2011 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 21/04/2011 11:53

Nepenthe - of course as a parent you are the "boss" of your kids but even so, I dont think taking something away just coz YOU dont like it is fair really , boss or not.

Thanks, love the name too

Threelittleducks · 21/04/2011 11:53

Maybe they should have an...'accident'?

Threelittleducks · 21/04/2011 11:54

Mind you, I thought this of IgglePiggle, but seriously, the peace I get while ds plays with him is so totally worth it.

NorthernGobshite · 21/04/2011 11:57

davidtenant good post.

Niecie · 21/04/2011 12:15

I totally agree your children won't forget if you take these dolls away. My mother took away my stuffed toys when I was 6 because I was apparently too old and didn't need things like that any more. I don't remember much about my toys as a child but I still remember that incident. She is actually a bit embarrassed about it now and wouldn't do it if she had her time again. I don't have a big chip on my shoulder about it or anything but do think, now I have children of my own, that to take away toys for no good reason other than she didn't really like them or think them was worthwhile is a bit odd.

The dolls were for your DDs not for you. So long as they aren't dangerous either physically or morally who cares if you like them? Your children are individuals who have different likes and dislikes to you. You will just have to deal with it.

Giving them away also doesn't really solve the sharing issue does it? Far better to work on sharing than to just not bother and remove the items causing the fight. That teaches your children nothing.

OTheHugeManatee · 21/04/2011 12:43

Bratz are vile, all precocious consumerism and tarty clothes. But I remember being miserable when I wasn't allowed a Barbie for similar reasons, so I think YAB a bit U to think about taking them away. I'm sure plenty of girls play with dolls like that and don't grow up to be vacuous clotheshorses.

vintageteacups · 21/04/2011 12:47

If the clothing on the dolls is inappropriate for their age, I'd explain to your dd's that they are really better for older children and take them to charity shop. Then, let your dd's buy one present each that you agree with.

DD had 2 Bratz ponies given to her a couple of years ago (from different people) and she loved doing their hair. Now she's 9, I asked her if she was happy they be outed and she agreed.

She still loves Polly Pockets and Puppy in my Pocket etc so she's happy.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/04/2011 12:57

This is what you do... get all the stuff in one pile, get DD1 and DD2 to each pick ONE item, which is then theirs. Repeat turns until all the stuff is gone. Give each child a box to put them in and make clear that the boxes are where these creatures live when they've finished playing with them.

BaadRobot · 21/04/2011 13:04

I have always hated Bratz too, awful looking things! But when they first came out my DD went mad for them and then received some for Christmas and Birthdays (not from me!) Luckily, within 18 months she had got tired of them, asked me to sell them all on Ebay for her, and made herself a good few quid to buy some new things with. The dolls' make-up and dubious fashion have not had any effect on my DD at all, she's much more of a tom-boy.

I understand you wanting to throw them all out, but honestly, they will not harm your kids, they really are just dolls.

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