to be a bit miffed at the acceptancy of sexualised bhaviour and language by very small children, or am I just a prude?

[itsabiggywhatdoidonow]

I notice a fair bit that at least one of my friends and have noticed this from strangers and other parents I have mixed with, accepts and even laughs at silly behaviour and talk of a sexual nature from young dcs.

2 examples of this. At a community activity thing a registared care providers member of staff sat along side the children in her care whilst they dicussed her having a sexy body and kissing herself. that they were going to kiss her sexy bum and kiss each others fannies. these children were aged 7 to 8 and was a group of some boys and girls. This went on for about half hour untill, I asked if she was actualy going to tollerate this, as my self and my small child didnt want to hear that kind of talk.

my dc does come out with her fair share of toilet talk, that is normal, and sometimes ignored but never in public when she should be engaging with others or meaningfull activity. But I do mostly nip it in the bud.

I have friend whos dd age 5 almost always acts in quite an overtly sexual or inappropriate manner with men even if she does not know them well, this girl was at my house today when my brother poped in. she has never met him before and she legged it to the front door and was just stood there staring at him, he was wearing shorts and as soon as he stepped in the door she wrapped herself around his leg and was stroking the back of his thigh. I prized her off and told her to go and sit down and stop being silly and she was giggling,"but I love him" y brother was bit shocked at her behaviour. he sat down and I went and put kettle on, she then jumped on his knee and straddled him stroking his hair, he got up and joined me in the kitcken. when he told me I sent her to play in garden with my dd. On the way past she kicked him hard in the balls and shouted, haha I kicked you in the balls. So I sat her on my stairs.

her mums response was just "little maddam". Now my dd would never behave like this if she did I would not tollerate it and tell her it is wrong.

I have winessed her, infront of her mum act in a similar way and worse. She once stroked a male family friends groin, and regularly kicks her dad and other men in the balls. she strips off all the time and talks openly about her "penny". I have seen her parents laugh about these things or just ignore, but never told this is wrong.

Now am I just a prude or over catiouse, not in anyway a pedo on every corner, but in viewing and setting personal bounderies at an early age goes as far as helping children understand personal safety and safeguarding what is appropriate and inapropriate contact.

You're not being unreasonable at all, it's just inappropriate and unpleasant really. x

No, that is truly appalling, I am shocked and as a teacher if this happened with one of my students I would be alerting child protection. This is seriously disturbing actually.

Tbh if I witnessed that behaviour of one of my DDs friends, I'd be on the phone to SS pronto! Not appropriate for a 5 year old IMO.

YANBU. In my line of work I'd consider your friends dd to be showing classic signs of having been sexually abused.

you hang out with some really weird people.

I agree with Supermoo.

supermoo i think its more of a case that she either gets a laugh or gets away with behaving like that, so does not know its inappropriate.

From what you have described I also agree with Supermoo, all 5 year olds are seeing what they can get away with, but that is pretty unusual. I have certainly never encountered what you are describing.

She shouldn't have the ability to make sexualised comments or use sexual behaviour, even less to understand it is taboo. What you describe is wholly inappropriate in terms of sexual behaviour and understanding for a five year old.

YANBU. I knew someone who's 4yr old was similar and it was really quite disturbing. I'd go over for dinner with boyfriends and she'd be all over them, stroking bare skin etc. I have to say that her mum was an extremely flirtatious woman too...is the mother in this case? Not saying she is copying her (hopefully not ball kicking anyway!?!) but I do think some kids can learn an almost "soft porn" for want of a better way of explaining it, from parents and the way they socialise. An example I found disturbing was watching her mum seductively lick every finger whilst giving a man (not her hubby I'm ashamed to say) very direct eye contact in a restaurant. Seconds later her daughter was doing the very same thing. I was quite appalled and actually said "Oh dear, look what we've just learnt from Mummy" pointedly and then excused myself to go to the loo. I don't usually get involved with parenting other peoples kids but that was just a step too far.

It's certainly not the child's fault that she cannot regulate her behaviour. You are IMO right in thinking that she is not behaving in a way that is acceptable.

It sounds to me as if this child is exposed to overt sexual behaviour (and possibly sexual bullying) she is imitating something I would have thought, I doubt that kicking (or stroking) men's groins originates from an impulse all of her own.

If I were you, I would make a note of the inappropriate behaviour and then contact the local child protection team, and inform them of any concerns that I had.

It's no skin off your nose, it may be the piece of the jigsaw that they have been waiting for.

def not to that extent but she def would talk infront of her dd about things I wouldnt.

I think lots of parents teach there kids or accept inapropriate things. another example my dn and his friend aged 8 wgere collected from school by dnd granny, his friend was telling a ditty. there was a transexual from......the punch line was...because he had a vagine. she stopped the car and thretaned to take him home, he said, what! my dad told me that. she said, well you tell your dad, I, said he is crude biggott!

It does amaze me though in our world where paedophilia is so completely feared that we've stopped our kids playing outside amongst so much other daily anxieties, that parents still allow kids to flaunt sexually explicit behaviour. I remember my mum very forcefully telling me I should NEVER suck on a banana in public because some men may think I was being naughty for them (I had recently taken to doing it at home while I watched her cook, purely for the texture). She never went into too much detail but I knew what was appropriate behaviour without her having to explain too much. Why do shops sell mini skirts for babies and high heeled shoes anyway? Sorry, going a bit off the OP.

YANBU. Totally inappropriate and weird!

I might be a prude though, I wouldn't take DS (age 3) to Hop because he repeats everything and I didn't want him talking about "sexy bunnies."

though you have a point fab. my mum from an early age taught us to sit with our legs closed so not flash our pants, and is she were sat next to us she would gently nudge our knees with helbow, I find my self doing this to dd to her anoyance.

sorry many typos

realy they talk about sexy bunnies in the film. sexy should not even be in a small childs vocabulary. my stomach turns when I hear people tell babies they are sexy...yuck

YANBU.

You are not a prude. That sort of behaviour is shocking and completely inappropriate.

The child needs taking in hand.

If you are close with the mum, perhaps a candid conversation may be needed? I'd hesitate to call in SS.

PS: I'm dithering over teaching my almost 2 year old "May I have a FORK please? He repeats new words constantly, yelling them out sometimes. Imagine if someone with a wild imagination mistakes FORK for FUCK......I shudder at the thought.....

I think that the next time it happens I will have to say somthing. I was telling a friend today who her mum does not particularly know but this friend has met her dd and witnessed her behaviour, she does not have children herself, but does not know how I cannot say anything. I think the best thing I can do is take this behaviour inhand my self if her mum fails to and she may get the message.

my dd always said fuck for fork. and I cunt do dat

eww just do add to my already outrage at this an aquaintence from dds nursery, have just posted a pic on fb of their youngest dd about 2 yrs old with her nickers round her ankles and her dress pulled round her tummy...full frontal.

wtf is it just me or do other people know such inappropriate parebting. I think I should messager this is so very wrong.

itsabiggy, you do seem to have a lot of friends/acquaintances who encourage inappropriate sexual behaviour in children

how odd

Indeed

Well I'm sorry but you are going to get one hell of a shock if you think that kids don't talk like this in the playground when they don't think adults can hear!!
The 5 Yo is weird though.A bit worrying, that