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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave DP for playing Call of fucking Duty??

44 replies

travispickles · 20/04/2011 22:47

...Would it be justified or am I a) hormonal or b)a selfish cow? DP is a teacher so is on holiday at the moment, but has started playing this game all the time. We have a 3 month old baby which he helps with although there have been times where I have asked him to help and then have to wait 15mins until the next break. Tbh, I like to play the occasional computer game, but there is something about COD that I loathe (the guns, the knowledge that the vast majority of players are either children, or a certain type of computer game obsessed person who I probably wouldn't choose to have an adult relationship with) and I find myself simmering with contempt towards him. I have tried to talk to him about it but he sees it as an acceptable past time. I also wonder if maybe IABU as I am tired/hormonal, as well as reminding myself a bit of my narcissistic mother who hates anything that doesn't involve her. God please don't let it be that Confused

OP posts:
Katisha · 20/04/2011 22:49

No this isnt right. A three month old baby should take precedence over a computer game for a grown man.
How many hours a day is he on it?

catchmeifyoucan · 20/04/2011 22:49

I think you are being a tiny bit U tbh. My 20 year old plays this a lot and really enjoys it. The rest of the time he's studying hard for his Uni degree, working full time and being a major help around the house. You can't lump all players of all games together like that.

MillsAndDoom · 20/04/2011 22:52

I reckon that there is something a bit addictive about some of these games - DS would play dawn til dusk if I didn't restrict his console time.

I went round to a friend of a friends last week to discuss something (at their request) and the DH was on some war game or other and continued playing for ten minutes before coming to join us as he "had to get to x level" Hmm

Katisha is right a baby should take precedence over a game.

And also with such a wee baby you need your DH to support you lots too as you must be sleep deprived.

AuntiePickleBottom · 20/04/2011 22:53

yabu, but i love that game until the firing range map will not load grrrrrr

Ryoko · 20/04/2011 22:59

YABU, everyone has a hobby, he could be sitting there watching fottball and saying wait until the break.

and what is your prob with COD? I've played it a far bit, the Infinity Ward games are good and for your information the average age for a gamer is 24-35, COD is 18 rated and we are nice people with jobs and things.

buttercupsareyellow · 20/04/2011 23:03

YANBU. I have the same problem with my DH. I'm happy for him to play the blasted game (also Call of Duty...) in the evening when the kids are in bed but during the day, I don't think so. He's on annual leave this week and has so far spent it on the xbox. We have to fit everything around it, if I or one of his daughters want to speak to him we have to wait til the game is finished, if we want to go out we have to wait til the game is finished, you get the picture.

Original poster
travispickles · 20/04/2011 23:04

Think it's to do with being a secondary school teacher, so my knowledge of COD players is adolescent boys. But not a fan of the shooting tbh. And the fact that there is no time limit to it - he can play it all day and all night (he would have to really struggle to watch football for as long!). I guess it is also that I didn't sign up to a relationship where one party spent all their time 'absent', it was his personality that won me over. Not seeing much evidence of it anymore.

OP posts:
Katisha · 20/04/2011 23:06

Sounds like he has got addicted. And is in denial. How much interest does he have in your baby?

Ninx · 20/04/2011 23:07

DH was quite addicted to playing WoW when DS was newborn but as he got older and less attached to boobs he tailed off and stopped altogether.

DS that is. And DH.

It can end well. I quite liked the fact that that when I had my son attached and MN on the screen at all hours DH had an innocuous hobby too. At least he wasn't going out on the piss or gambling.

Mind you, he is teetotal and won't even buy a lottery ticket so I don't see that £6.99 a month for the games he does play now only at certain times in an evening is unreasonable.

stream · 20/04/2011 23:10

How long do you spend on MN?

Original poster
travispickles · 20/04/2011 23:12

He is good with the baby but I am EBF and on Mat leave and I am sure you know the drill. I do a lot of stuff whilst making it look like I don't do loads of stuff iykwim, and I have to ask him to nappy change rather than him just doing it like I do. So although I am on MN, I can get up and leave it as soon as I hear DD, whereas DP will go when I ask him (and only if he is at a safe place). IA probably BU, I do feel very tired and a bit irrational at the mo.

OP posts:
Ninx · 20/04/2011 23:13

Depends what the OP does on MN though doesn't it? She has a fairly new baby so I'd guess that children's health and feeding boards feature. They did for me.

Ninx · 20/04/2011 23:14

EBF. Well there you go. Things change so much in the first three months. After that the sailing is plainer but still.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 20/04/2011 23:16

"I reckon that there is something a bit addictive about some of these games "
Understatement of the year from MillsAndDoom there! Grin

YANBU OP I totally relate to your "seething with contempt"

My DH plays shite games on the comp too....I thnk it's intellectual equivelant of eating McDonalds every day...

Original poster
travispickles · 20/04/2011 23:18

But seriously if this is the future, then I am seriously not sure I want it!!

OP posts:
stream · 20/04/2011 23:20

I wonder if you could agree when he could play games for a reasonable period of time - a couple of hours, say, when he's off-duty for the baby?

Obviously, you have an equal period of time, to do what you like, when you're off-duty.

And you have yours first.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 20/04/2011 23:20

Have you got other DC?

Original poster
travispickles · 20/04/2011 23:27

He has a son who stays every second weekend and half the holidays. Tbh, his son (10) does nothing but play computer games unless I we get him to do something healthier so I don't think his dad is setting the best example to him. I also don't much want DD to grow up seeing dad staring at a screen although MN is different and not engaging in conversation.

OP posts:
SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 20/04/2011 23:31

You can't go out on your own no? Exress and bugger off leaving DH in charge?

Ninx · 20/04/2011 23:33

MN is supremely different! Shock

You can leave it whenever you need to for one thing unless engaged in a massive AIBU fight and it's Very Important since it's a parenting site and not about shooting people or blowing them up (much)

NonnoMum · 20/04/2011 23:38

Report him to the GTC...

Ninx · 20/04/2011 23:39

When I was EBF the last thing I wanted to do was leave the sofa and go out. I just wanted to sleep. And expressing is a huge faff. You can't just siphon it off as well as the baby can and on top of doing that, assembling and sterilising a pump, bottles, bags, instructions to DH Hmm... People who mix feed have my undying admiration.

Not that the OP shouldn't fuck off for the night of course Grin

MsToni · 20/04/2011 23:39

I LOVE COD!!!! :o

I do not think YABU.

There should be a balance and your baby should take precedence though. Perhaps you should get him to focus on baby when its baby time and go mental over COD or other games, when he has some down time?

Also, he's on holiday. I'd assume he doesn't behave like that when he has pressing responsibilities like work, caring for baby etc.

I'll take games etc over going out with the boys, hitting the bottle etc.

xxxxx

maypole1 · 20/04/2011 23:58

Why not you sling the thing out then he cannot play it

chubsasaurus · 21/04/2011 00:06

YANBU

at all

He's an adult, you have a 3 month old baby, he should not be playing computer games let alone addictive violent ones that he knows you dislike.

Don;t leave him but do throw the console in a bucket of water or out the window - if it upsets him tell him just how his behaviour has made YOU feel.

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