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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be apalled at this display of piss poor parenting?

119 replies

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 17:11

Today I was queuing in the Post Office. Close by was a woman with her DS of around 12-14 months in his pram. The baby was playing with a Tesco plastic carrier bag!!! His mother had given it to him to play with. He was pulling it to his face and then pushing it up in the air. For a few seconds at a time it lay across his face. The mother just stood there sorting through some papers and dipping in and out of her handbag. I watched with jaw touching the floor, I couldn't believe how stupid she was. Then, she takes it from him, puts stuff into it and puts it back in the rack under the pram.

And if that wasn't bad enough, as they passed me she put a Snickers bar into his hand !!!!

I was so tempted to go and say something but feared the response I may have got from her. I think had she continued to let him play with the carrier bag for any longer I would have definitely of gone up to her.

I feel so sorry for that poor child.

OP posts:

TethersEnd · 19/04/2011 20:23

Neither the carrier-bag toy nor the snickers bar was a brilliant decision, but piss-poor-parenting they do not make.

I suggest you speak to social services.

Not to report, but so they can explain to you what piss-poor-parenting actually looks like.

Jonnyfan · 19/04/2011 20:37

Was heading into supermarket the other day, spotted a cute little tot ( maybe three at the most) all in pink with hair in little bunches, pushing her doll in a little pram and singing happily to herself heading OUT of the door into the car park all by herself, no possible parent within sight. I stopped her and asked where mummy was, she gave me a lovely smile and said "I don't know." She seemed very happy and unconcerned. I took her back into the supermarket, intending to hand her over to a member of staff so they could find her mum or whoever was with her. There was no one near the doors, so we headed round the big displays to get to the till areas, when she suddenly ran off down the aisle towards a woman about half way down. I followed her to see she was ok and when she reached the woman she plonked herself on the floor and started to play with the doll. I asked her if that was her mummy; she just smiled at me. the woman turned round as I spoke so I told her that I had just found her tot heading into the car park. She shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the clothes she was looking at. I said goodbye to the little girl and as I turned away I heard "Nosy Cow!"

Original poster

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 20:41

I think what people consider piss poor parenting depends on the individual.

Bag-playing-child's mum could have lit up a lit up a fag as she left the PO, texting madly whilst telling her little darling to "Shut the F* up or You'll get a slap". Now that'd be "piss poor parenting".

I'm sure this mum wouldn't have considered herself piss poor, she would think she's doing a great job. It's personal opinion.

For all you know someone could have seen you and considered something you were doing was piss poor parenting. Different people, different standards.

OP posts:

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 19/04/2011 20:42

Ohh I love a good judge, makes the day go faster but this wouldn't have even registered....

Original poster

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 20:43

Jonnyfan that's exactly the response I feared I would have got had I spoken up today.

OP posts:

Original poster

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 20:47

In fact, last summer whilst food shopping I returned to my car to find that the car next too me had a toddler sat in the back seat, the window was wound a third way down. I looked around for the mum incase she was taking the trolley back but couldn't see anyone. To cut a long story short 10 minutes later a guy returned to the car. When I said to him that he shouldn't have left the child alone in the car like that he absolutely ripped into me. He reversed out of the spot, decided he hadn't quite finished with me, got out of the car and ran at me. I crapped myself!! He screamed abuse in my face and then returned to his car and drove off.

Hence the reason I am now a bit hesitant at speaking up!!!

OP posts:

DooinMeCleanin · 19/04/2011 20:50

Omg she gave him a Snickers? I'd have her shot. She'll be feeding him happy meals before he's two. Poor tot.

Original poster

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 20:53

DooinMeCleanin so you think giving a child something to eat whilst flat on their back is a reasonable thing to do?

OP posts:

DooinMeCleanin · 19/04/2011 20:55

No, it's not, but nor is it piss poor or worth getting your knickers in a twist about. I doubt at less than 18 months old the child would be able to bite a lump off a snickers bar. She probably gave him it suck on to keep him quiet for a while.

electra · 19/04/2011 20:57

Do you actually have a life? There are far worse things that can happen to child. A snickers bar is not poison ffs. I cannot believe anyone would start a thread about this.

Original poster

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 20:59

Funny how you interpret it as getting my knickers in a twist, it was merely an observation which shocked me.

Yeah, you're probably right, give him a chocolate bar stacked full of peanuts, it'll keep him quiet......especially when he chokes.

OP posts:

Georgimama · 19/04/2011 20:59

I would lol at all the people on this thread who think the child couldn't possibly have choked because his mother was right there. People, including grown adults, can and do choke to death while a veritable army of people tries to save them. Sometimes the object is just too far down the windpipe and will not come up.

It was piss poor. I'm with you OP.

Georgimama · 19/04/2011 21:00

that should be "I would lol ..... but it isn't funny"

Brain and typing not fully in sync.

Original poster

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 21:04

electra yes, I have a life thank you.

Thank you for your irrelevant input into the thread.

OP posts:

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 19/04/2011 21:10

Georgimama so you don't do BLW then??

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 19/04/2011 21:12

Was he really 'flat' on his back??

Georgimama · 19/04/2011 21:14

Not with a snickers bar, no.

Original poster

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 21:18

tryingtobemarypoppins yes, he was right down in the pram.

OP posts:

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 19/04/2011 21:21

Georgimama with regard to choking not the skickers bar!! ;)

PlopPlopPing · 19/04/2011 21:22

MaisyMooCow - Oh my God did you take done the number plate and report him to the police (for leaving the child AND acting threatening towards you)?

OP - I think you were right to be shocked, the plastic bag because it teaches them that bags can be a toy, so if he comes across one while unnattended one day he may play with it (taught mine that they were completely out of bounds) and the snickers because I thought we weren't supposed to give peanuts to under 5s in case of allergy?

Georgimama · 19/04/2011 21:24

I don't understand your point. A snickers bar is clearly a hugely inappropriate food for a baby of that age. "Baby led weaning" is just a silly modern phrase for giving your child bits of what you eat. By 12 months of course they should be on solids but not a snickers bar for christs sake.

Original poster

MaisyMooCow · 19/04/2011 21:27

PlopPlotPing after about 5 mins of waiting and realising the child had been left alone I called the local police station for advice. Their response was that they couldn't do anything unless I was reporting an actual abduction.
I couldn't see any security guards or trolley collectors around to get help from and I didn't want to leave the child alone to go into the store to find security in case something happened to the child whilst I was gone.

OP posts:

PlopPlopPing · 19/04/2011 21:32

The police wouldn't come?! Nightmare! Not even because effectively the child was abandoned?! That's terrible.

Ormirian · 19/04/2011 21:54

I really fancy a snickers bar now....

zukiecat · 19/04/2011 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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