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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel so bad about this?

60 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 18/04/2011 21:36

DS was 3 years old last November and is massively attached to his dummy. I tried so hard to say it was for bedtime only but it has always made its way downstairs!

So this week we have talked about the dummy fairy coming and a bike arriving as a thank-you.

Tonight is the night. 2 hours crying himself to sleep (DH and I giving comfort but having to leave him to it after 90mins), saying "go away fairy, come back dummy"

Tomorrow is going to be HELL!

AIBU to think I should have insisted on bedtime only first and go about things slowley??

:(

OP posts:
fluffles · 18/04/2011 21:37

you've done it now. cold turkey is the only way to go from here. be strong!!

Vallhala · 18/04/2011 21:41

Try not to over-worry. My DD1 was about the same age when I prised the last dummy from her grip - but now she's nearly 16 she can't remember a thing about it and has suffered no lasting ill rffects.

She did sit at the top of the stairs screaming the first night though... I refused to give in and found her asleep on the landing a little later! The following day there were a few tears and by the third night the dummy had been forgotten and we never looked back.

Except when I caught her stealing one out of her baby sister's mouth and when I found two hidden in her toy kitchen, that is!

Honestly... your DS will be fine, it'll be you who gets more worked up, :)

MaisyMooCow · 18/04/2011 21:42

We used to tell my niece that her dummies were going to poor children whose mummies couldn't afford to buy them dummies. Worked a treat somehow!

JazzAnnNonMouse · 18/04/2011 21:42

please do it and don't give in to bedtimes... My mum's been trying to get it off of my brother for years (and I mean years), he's eight years old and my stepdad just gives into him (twit) 'cos he's only a baby Hmm

get rid of it now!! Grin

AuntiePickleBottom · 18/04/2011 21:44

i would be cruel to give the dummy back now, as he has already had 2 hours of crying for nothing if you give it back.

stay strong, and i hope your son enjoys his new bike

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 18/04/2011 21:45

I just think if he had chosen his thumb he would still have that..... :( poor baby!

OP posts:
dustyhousewithdustypeople · 18/04/2011 21:52

I feel your pain, we had a really tough time giving up dummies (I say we...).

He will get used to it after a few days and it is so worth it. No more rummaging around under beds to find lost dummies, or trying to clean mank off them :)

heliumballoons · 18/04/2011 21:58

I gave DS a beaker of water when I took the dummy away - he still had the sucking effect and I decreased the amount of water weekly. He was fine the first 2 nights the 3rd was the hardest for him me.

YANBU, I saw my hated thing of 2/3yo walking down the street talking away with dummy in mouth today. You are doing him a favour. Smile

have a Wine or Brew

CharlieCoCo · 18/04/2011 21:59

exactly, if he had his thumb you wouldnt be able to take it away and it would be so much harder to wean him off it. he will end u with a ump on his thumb and buck teeth. its hard but hel get over it. dont give in, god luck. x

RueLaChesty · 18/04/2011 22:17

well done, i went cold turkey with DD1 too and had a rough first night then a disgruntled two more then that was it.

She has occasionally gathered up her toys and asked me to give them back to santa for her dummies but i've told her he's gave them to new babies!
:)

it does get easier!

EllieG · 18/04/2011 22:20

Stay strong - it will get better.

ohmyfucksy · 18/04/2011 22:20

Don't give it back!!! Otherwise you will only have to go through the sobbing again. There is a chance he may be less bothered about it tomorrow, and as time goes on he WILL become less bothered about it

LatteLady · 18/04/2011 22:24

My mother told me that the cat next door had stolen it, I stalked the cat round the garden to try and get it back... but I did survive and so will your son.

lookingfoxy · 18/04/2011 22:27

My ds hung it on the tree on christmas eve and santa left him lots of presents in exchange Grin a few years ago now, but it worked, do you have the bike to give to him?

blueeyedmonster · 18/04/2011 22:30

Oh I shouldn't have opened this.

The dummy fairy is visiting ds very soon too.

PelvicFloorsOfSteel · 18/04/2011 22:32

We're going to do it soon too, I can picture DS's face already Sad.

ZhenXiang · 18/04/2011 22:32

Don't give it back, it will make it harder when you then take it away again as he will think, well I got it back the last time if I complain enough I can get it back again. Can feel your pain DD is currently crying herself to sleep as we stopped bf altogether today so she didn't have bedtime feed just cows milk. It is heart-wrenching to hear them sobbing, but it is for the best. Hopefully it won't take them too long to adjust

exhausted2011 · 18/04/2011 22:41

Don't give in!! It will be ok. I dreaded it, and he forgot about it after a couple of days, seriously! Cold turkey is the best IMO.

TakeItOnTheChins · 19/04/2011 09:36

Well done. Nothing worse than seeing a toddler plugged up.

Next door's child (3) doesn't speak - just points and grunts at things because it's always got a dummy plugged in its mouth.

Groovee · 19/04/2011 09:51

DD lost her dummy to santa. We had about 4 nights of difficulty and then she just settled. It was a long christmas day that year.

CoffeeDodger · 19/04/2011 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShinyMoonInAPurpleSky · 19/04/2011 10:55

Ours got taken away on our 3rd birthdays because we "weren't babies anymore and there are lots of other little babies who need a dummy" so we were assured it went to a good home. My mum said we never asked for it again. I think I'll try that with my ds when he is 3.

JazzAnnNonMouse · 19/04/2011 14:50

coffee - not sure he will, my brother is nearly 9 and still insists on his... Hmm

sausagesandmarmelade · 19/04/2011 15:18

I agree that cold turkey is the only way to go....

minibmw2010 · 19/04/2011 15:56

Stay strong, you've already done the hardest bit ... I was on the tube at the weekend and a young girl (who must have been about 5 or so) was talking to her mum through a dummy, it was horrible to see !!

Did anyone see the Supernanny episode earlier this week where she encouraged the mum to use the dummy fairy and leave them all in a bag on the door for the dummy fair, the little girl seemed OK with it, and then the mum didn't remove the dummy fairy's present from the door and of course the little girl found them the next morning, doh ..

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