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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel so bad about this?

60 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 18/04/2011 21:36

DS was 3 years old last November and is massively attached to his dummy. I tried so hard to say it was for bedtime only but it has always made its way downstairs!

So this week we have talked about the dummy fairy coming and a bike arriving as a thank-you.

Tonight is the night. 2 hours crying himself to sleep (DH and I giving comfort but having to leave him to it after 90mins), saying "go away fairy, come back dummy"

Tomorrow is going to be HELL!

AIBU to think I should have insisted on bedtime only first and go about things slowley??

:(

OP posts:
Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 19/04/2011 20:24

Well day 1 was hell, day 2 much better and easily to bed. I am amazed as the dummy was a major thing for him.
It is hard now, he talks non stop and seems more hyper as he wont crash out and have a rest with his dummy anymore! I did give him a lolly and a film this afternoon just for some rest!!

Oh and wine is really helping - thanks for that!!

OP posts:
macdoodle · 19/04/2011 20:26

takeitonthechins - what rubbish, there is no evidence whatsoever that dummies affect speech.
My DD2 is 3 stil has a dummy, and is the most well spoke eloquent 3yr old you will ever meet.

Camerondiazepam · 19/04/2011 20:29

They do affect the shape of the mouth though, not sure if they affect adult teeth but my DD stopped her dummy 2 years ago and the dentist still always asks us when she's going to stop using it :(

Reindeerbollocks · 19/04/2011 20:29

Glad day two has gone easier - the first dummy free day is always horrific, but he'll get there.

Well done you for not caving though - that definitely deserves wine :)

macdoodle · 19/04/2011 20:33

oh dear god, no evidence it affects dentition/teeth either. My DD2 has absolutely beautiful perfect straight teeth.

strawberrymewmew · 19/04/2011 20:36

Apparently when I was young I was a nightmare to get my dummy away from me. After my Gran had done the dummy fairy thing, anytime I asked for it she would just say "well you gave it to the fairy and she's taken it away now so it's gone* and I just accepted that because she had "taken it away" there was no way of me getting it back and stopped moaning.
Hope everything gets easier for you OP!

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 19/04/2011 20:43

Thanks ladies. I was wondering today about his teeth. They are a little rounded?? Will be interesting to see what the dentist says......assuming DS will even go in the room, but that's another thread! Surely they can't be that bad as you can buy teeth friendly ones...?

OP posts:
Camerondiazepam · 20/04/2011 12:45

"Oh dear god" ? - the DENTIST asks me when she's going to stop, because it HAS affected the shape of her mouth. Her teeth are absolutely beautiful perfect (except the massive chip, but that's another story) and straight, but her WHOLE MOUTH is not the shape it should be.
Patronising much macdoodle?!?

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 20/04/2011 21:11

Can that be put right Camerondiazepam?? (awaits hopefully reply!))

OP posts:
Strumpypumpy · 20/04/2011 21:14

Yanbu! We did this last week. DD cried the first night, asked for it the second night and hasn't since. But we don't do fairies or bikes in this house, mean parents. Keep going it's worth it. My reward has been hearing DD speak, laugh and generally behave nicely. Before she was like an addict seeking a fix whenever she could.

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 20/04/2011 21:31

I have to say today has been so so so much better. He has asked for it but gone to bed no problem. He does lie in anymore though grrrrr!

OP posts:
macdoodle · 20/04/2011 21:40

affected the shape of her whole mouth Hmm sorry I really find that hard to believe (and I'm a GP, never heard of that and honestly cannot see for the life of me how it would be physically possible), methinks your dentist is talking out his arse, has he offered you some expensive treatment to fix it yet Hmm

NorthernGobshite · 20/04/2011 21:57

stick with it!

my dd had a dummy until she was 5 (yes, I know, bad mother) - the first night was hell, the second night was better....after 2 nights she was fine. Tomorrow might be hard but if you just stick to your decision you will get through it.

Think how hard it will be to get it off him if you give in this time!

NorthernGobshite · 20/04/2011 21:59

as for horror stories about effecting shape of whole mouth thats bollocks. ignore it. dummys can cause overbite, but so does thumb sucking, but doesn't effect whole mouth.

PlopPlopPing · 20/04/2011 22:19

My dentist told me that teeth go back to normal after they have stopped using the dummy, they just grow down or something. The only thing I'm worried about is that my dcs top teeth seem further forward then his bottom teeth although he's not goofy or anything. He's only 2.

CoffeeDodger · 20/04/2011 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TimeForMeIsFree · 20/04/2011 22:29

Having a dummy or drinking from a baby bottle for a prolonged period of time (as in years) can affect a child's bite and can cause the top teeth to be further forward.

Camerondiazepam · 21/04/2011 10:14

No, he hasn't offered any expensive treatment, and can I apologize macdoodle for getting a bit overexcited in response to your post? Was v irate for a minute there. And it's not her whole mouth Blush, I don't know the medical term but the bit of her mouth where her top teeth sit is definitely now out of shape, and this is clearly down to the dummy. I know thumbs do the same thing, which is why I let her use the dummy in preference to the thumb (you can take dummy away, harder with the thumb). She only ever had dummy for naps and bedtime but it's still had this effect. Stopped spontaneously when she was 3.5. So in my limited experience I'd say it's better to ditch the dummy as soon as possible, that's all, as this can be a side effect.
Am not making it up, honest guv! And sorry for the slight hijack.

Whatevs · 21/04/2011 10:17

Stick with the cold turkey. We had the same thing with my oldest and his bottle at about 2.5 yrs old. He bawled for a week, whined a bit for a few days after that and then forgot about it. Worth the tears and tantrums!

Bogeyface · 21/04/2011 10:28

I would argue about it not affecting speech. A boy next door but one when I was a teenager, and also the son of a friend of mine both had dummies til they were well into school, aged 6 or 7. And both talk out of the side of their mouths still, 20 and 30 years later. They cant say S or T sounds, Ts sound like the LL sound you get in welsh. The younger one of the 2 who is the same age as my DS is almost unintelligible sometimes.

I dont think it is a coincidence!

NorthernGobshite · 21/04/2011 10:37

bogeyface I think it is coincidence tbh. A dummy cannot effect speech for 30 years! get a grip.

NestaFiesta · 21/04/2011 10:39

Northern, but a dummy until 6 or 7 can affect how you learn to speak and pronounce words in the first place. I think bogeyface is talking about the lasting effects.

Bogeyface · 21/04/2011 10:41

Rude, much?!

2 boys have dummies for extended periods, both have the same speech problems, both still have the same problems at adults. Why is it so hard to believe that the extended dummy use could have caused that?

I am not a liar nor do I need to get a grip thank you.

Bogeyface · 21/04/2011 10:42

Thats exactly what I meant Nesta, thank you :)

NorthernGobshite · 21/04/2011 10:45

Because it is highly unlikely that a dummy for extended time effects the mouth so significantly to effect speech long term.