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or would this piss you off too?

38 replies

hormoansAplenty · 18/04/2011 13:04

Yes, I have name-changed, as I know this is going to sound really pathetic.

But here goes nothing.....

DH has just furnished me with the list of Saturdays and B/Hs he is scheduled to work for the rest of the year. He's spent all morning on the phone to colleagues sorting it out between them, juggling them about to fit in with each ones different circumstances etc. (it's very flexible)

There are a lot in April/May on his list, but I can handle that. We can always find a use for the extra cash.


For the whole of June/July/Aug he has only 2 Saturdays.

And one of those is the nearest Saturday to my birthday.

I'm really pissed off.

I gave him proper evils, he said we could do something on the actual day of my birthday, but that means anything would be child centred, and most likely not with any friends etc as they'd all be at work.

He has offered to try to change the schedule, but was grumbling about all the effort they'd put in to get it straight..............

So, how selfish am I? or is he?

OP posts:

compo · 18/04/2011 13:06

Can't you go out the evening of your birthday? Or the night before?


hormoansAplenty · 18/04/2011 13:11

Darn you and your reasonable answer straight away!

I suppose we could try, but getting a sitter on a weeknight is extremely difficult.

I've previously looked for an agency, to no avail.

OP posts:

iklboo · 18/04/2011 13:11

Unless it was a 'big' birthday I wouldn't be bothered about it. Until recent changes at work, my birthday always fell 'between paydays' so we couldn't afford to go out anyway. I'd still celebrate something on the actual day (nice meal at home DH cooked, pressies, day out with DS) and then we'd go 'out, out' the weekend nearest payday to do grown up celebrating.


ForeverNamechanging · 18/04/2011 13:12

Celebrate Friday or Sunday... Why should his workmates have to reshuffle for you? Its abit of a childish thing to throwevils over your birthday when you can just pick another day...


grumpypants · 18/04/2011 13:12

my dh works every weekend and all bank holidays, incl boxing day. I am Envy at 2 saturdays in a month.


compo · 18/04/2011 13:12


so did you want to go out in the day of your birthday? I'm confused now


FollowMe · 18/04/2011 13:16

Come on, its not even your birthday, its the Saturday nearest your birthday!
Presumably that means your birthday is midweek and there is another Saturday within a few days of it! Why not go out on the other Saturday? It still wont be your actual birthday either way!

Does your DH work nights? If not, then you could still go out the Saturday he is working but in the evening? then you'll have DH around the next morning too so you can have a lie in!


hormoansAplenty · 18/04/2011 13:19

Grumpypants he is working 8 sats/BH's in the April/May period, and is also doing boxing day, it's the fact there are only 2 in summer and one of those 2 affects me that's pissed me off most of all.

see, I want the choice of what to do. I don't ask for much, really. I have lots of time with just me and the DCs, when DH is working.
I know I'm being childish.

Maybe I AM just hormonal and need to get a grip.

I'm still sad though

OP posts:

MumInBeds · 18/04/2011 13:19

Plan something for the Saturday the weekend before or after?


Rowgtfc72 · 18/04/2011 13:27

My dh works every Sat and then by choice bank holidays and Sundays as the money is too ludicrous to turn down. He gets every other Monday off. I work part time - and on Mondays! Works till ten most nights too. Starting to forget what he looks like. We pick the nearest day that were all in the house at the same time to celebrate birthdays. His birthday was on a Saturday and with work and dds school it was Wednesday before he got to blow out his candles !


watfordmummy · 18/04/2011 13:32

yabu, sorry you're not a child. You can be sad that you won't get a night out or something with friends but if he's working during the day surely you can still go out?


NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 18/04/2011 13:32


The day for celebrating your birthday is on your birthday.

Not on the week-end before your birthday. Coz that's not your birthday is it Confused


GiddyPickle · 18/04/2011 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iklboo · 18/04/2011 13:35

Or have two birthdays like the Queen Grin


NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 18/04/2011 13:35

My in-laws do this too - celebrate birthdays on a day when it isn't peoples birthdays - I find the whole thing quite bizarre Confused


vmcd28 · 18/04/2011 13:59

My dh works all bank holidays, and I work weekends because our jobs require us to. We don't get extra money for this.
YABU about that part of it - be grateful there's a decent amount of money coming in.


TrillianAstra · 18/04/2011 14:04

He is only working 2 Saturdays for the whole of June/July/August. So there are plenty of weekends when you can do things.

Your birthday is not ON the weekend, so celebrate the weekend before rather than the weekend after, or vice versa.


nonickname3 · 18/04/2011 14:06

get over it.


bubblecoral · 18/04/2011 15:37

YABVU. Shouldn't you be glad that he will have so many summer weekends off? I don't get it Confused


thumbbunny · 18/04/2011 15:42

Yep, sorry, YABU. He's doing well if he's only working 2 Saturdays in 3m - I initially misread your OP and thought he was only getting 2 Saturdays OFF in 3m, which would have been shite and you woudl have been well within your rights to be pissed off - but in the case as it actually stands, you have plenty of other weekends to choose from.


vmcd28 · 18/04/2011 15:49

Thumbbunny (I can't even begin to imagine what you're nickname might mean!) I thought that too - that he was only getting two Saturdays off. Now I think op is being completely unreasonable, not just a bit unreasonable!


thumbbunny · 18/04/2011 15:54

vmcd - it's my Easter name, nothing dodgy! usually thumbwitch. Much less worrisome. :)


Grumpla · 18/04/2011 15:57

YANBU to be a bit disappointed.
YABU to guilt trip him about it.


Plan something nice for yourself. Maybe a couple of hours off in the morning - can you get a babysitter?- followed by something fun for you all in the afternoon.


EggyFucker · 18/04/2011 15:59

is it your 100th birthday ?

or your 18th or 21st ?

if not, YABU


PlopPlopPing · 18/04/2011 16:13

It must have been very complicated to sort out ALL those days for the whole year and keep everyone else happy too (I'm assuming they all also have birthdays, partners with birthdays, weddings to go to etc). I think he probably did his best. Unless it's a special birthday I wouldn't expect him to particularly insist on that weekend off.

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