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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider complaining about this guy to his boss?

36 replies

nulliusxinxverbax · 17/04/2011 19:44

I have just had quite a shock.

I love chinese food and order us a takeaway about once or twice a month (I know, what a glutton). Anyway, have noticed over last 4 - 5 months same guy always delivers, Ive ordered from this same takeaway since I was a teenager and this guy is new I assume. Hes always nice, I say hi, thankyou ect ect like I do with anyone. Last time he came he tried to make a bit more conversation but I politely told him had to go before my DD escaped out the door looking for the bloody cat again.
Anyway, guy has now just turned up....at my house, when I have NOT ordered chinese, and is casually chatting me up. Its made me feel quite uncomfortable actually, in a "you know where I live" sort of way.
Yes its flattering and I dont want to be a bitch but it's freaked me out. Should I phone the takeaway and say something?

OP posts:

annh · 17/04/2011 19:59

What, he just rang the doorbell?! How did the conversation go when you opened the door? Surely you said "Hello, what are you doing here?". Where did the conversation go from there?

atswimtwolengths · 17/04/2011 20:04

You should have said, "Where's my dinner?" Just block every attempt at conversation with, "Where is it?" or "Come on, I'm starving"

Original poster

nulliusxinxverbax · 17/04/2011 20:05

I was a bit like, "oh, hello" (then quickly scanning brain, Havent ordered chinese and completely forgot have I? No not quite that mad yet)
He says Hi and pauses. Then says "forgot to tell you, Im xxxx by the way"

Im a bit confused at this point, thinking did I not give the guy the right money last week or something?

Then he starts asking how my DD is (making the penny drop but me very uncomfortable)

OP posts:

cheekeymonkey · 17/04/2011 20:08

You say "oh, sorry were you after my husband/boyfriend. Don't let him think you are on your own

Original poster

nulliusxinxverbax · 17/04/2011 20:10

I would but hes not going to be asking after a husband, as there isnt one, and he has never seen a man in my house.....so not going to work that one....Maybe Ill invent one

OP posts:

Hassled · 17/04/2011 20:10

That's worryingly creepy - any normal bloke would just know that you don't do that sort of thing. Yes, call the Chinese and tell them you're not happy.

b1uebells · 17/04/2011 20:10

Sounds awful, I'd hate anything like that. Defo ring the take away and complain, is totally inappropriate and surely a breach of confidentialilty or something isn't it? Or something like that!

annh · 17/04/2011 20:10

Well, it sounds to me like he was trying to chat you up! Are you single, I assume so, otherwise you could probably have enlisted your dh/dp to politely chase him off! If you are not interested in him and find it off-putting (personally I would) then I think I would phone the takeaway, innocently pretending to be a bit puzzled as to why he turned up and wondering whether maybe you forgot to pay last time or something? That would give you a low-key way of telling him to back off. Of course, if it a Chinese takeaway and the owners are Chinese, they may not quite understand your subtle way of complaining about him!

cheekeymonkey · 17/04/2011 20:15

That's what I meant 'make one up'. Have done it myself for safety in past

Original poster

nulliusxinxverbax · 17/04/2011 20:16

Good advice, I thought am I bieng a bit of a cow, but then, really, its very innapropriate and made me feel uncomfortable. Im now wondering if he has been deliberatly delivering my orders, As it used to vary between three people, one of the chinese owners, older white delivery guy and this guy. after about three times its only been him, for the last 4 or 5 months.

He asked after my DD, by name aswell. thats not normal is it?
Thinking back now I probably just should have said this is out of order go away, but I was shocked, and a bit uneasy about this guy on my doorstep when im alone with my child....

OP posts:

saffy85 · 17/04/2011 20:17

YANBU to dob him in to his boss if he comes back as long as you made it perfectly clear you weren't interested. Which I hope you did. People can be incredibly thick at times. It sounds lame but if you're single could you invent a partner? 6 foot 6, built like a brick outhouse rugby player maybe?

I had this with a bailiff once. Came round to collect money from me and came back aleast 2 more times afterwards (although my friend said she saw some creepy looking guy hanging round outside my house when I wasn't in aleast once) to fish for a date. Creepy in the extreme. Luckily I am a cold hearted, callous bitch (so my dearest friends tell me) and once I'd established I din't owe any more money to his sodding client I told him where to go. As did my then 2 year old who took an instant dislike to him. It's probably the only time she hasn't been sent straight to her room for being quite so rude to a stranger.

saffy85 · 17/04/2011 20:19

"He asked after my DD, by name aswell. thats not normal is it?" He must really be interested in you! Eeek! Very creepy! Definately time for a new chinese takeway!

breathing · 17/04/2011 20:21

Do you have any male friends you could get to come around and then get chinese and let the friend open the door and collect the food while you hide?
(withn a "darling the food is here")

jojowest · 17/04/2011 20:25

awww why are you getting him into trouble, he was just being nice and friendly

dont these advice columns just tell people to take a chance and get to know someone

if he liked you and you say there is no man about, how should he find out if you were interested?

Original poster

nulliusxinxverbax · 17/04/2011 20:26

at saffy85, but I like this takeaway!! But yes, am planning not to order again I think!!

Yes the darling dinner's here would be very obvious but maybe thats what he needs. I pretty much shut the door in his face after trying to end the conversation, so clearly he wasnt picking up on my "you are freaking me out please go now" hints.....

OP posts:

HerHissyness · 17/04/2011 20:26

You are going to have to get your takeaway from somewhere else. Or could you go and collect it?

I think you ought to complain, this is really crossing a line.

jojowest · 17/04/2011 20:26

ok, how would people on here like single men to approach single women, in an attempt to get to know them better, without being seen as creepy, strange, lame etc etc

TeddyMcardle · 17/04/2011 20:30

That's odd, I would feel really uncomfortable.
Jojo, maybe not turning up and knocking on their door after delivering a takeaway there! The postman knows where I live doesn't mean I want him turning up for dinner!

DoubleDegreeStudent · 17/04/2011 20:30

Completely agree with getting male friends round - preferably a big rugby player or similar. Any policeman friends?

Just make sure you don't change your order to include food for him or the delivery guy might twig that a certain order means you are home alone and if it suddenly includes five times more food then you have company?

Original poster

nulliusxinxverbax · 17/04/2011 20:32

jojowest Im not trying to be horrible about the guy, and Its flattering I said that in my OP, but really, turning up at my house at night uninvited, when I certainly havent given him the come-on, is a bit strange dont you think?

Maybe he could have waited till I ordered and said something, or put a note through my door, I dont know, but it made me feel wierd.

OP posts:

Original poster

nulliusxinxverbax · 17/04/2011 20:34

OMG doubledegree that is sucha good point I would never have though of that, are you a detective or something??
No big orders.

OP posts:

elmofan · 17/04/2011 20:35

YANBU - thats just creepy , i think you should stop ordering from there and report this delivery man to his employer .

jojowest - He knocked on the OP's door when not delivering food to her that is scary stuff IMHO

saffy85 · 17/04/2011 20:36

A big beefy male friend could really help you out here. I do like the idea of the "darling dinner's here!" scenario. Not to in-your-face but gets the point across nicely.

I didn't have to resort to this (although I definately would have) as like I said I'm a bitch and also I think the creppy bailiff went right off me thanks to my daughter when she demanded to know why he was bothering us and then told him to "bugger orf! Don't wantcha here!" but thank god for DD!

TheMonster · 17/04/2011 20:37

I wouldn't complain yet - it just seems to me like he was trying to chat you up but didn't think how odd it was to turn up at your door.
If he does it again, then complain.

floweryblue · 17/04/2011 20:41

I used to use the same taxi firm all the time, all the drivers knew where I lived and where I worked, handy for when I needed to be scraped off the nightclub car park when they heard the alarm going off at the premises I worked, a car was always on the way before I even rang. One time one of the drivers sent me a postcard from his holiday, no idea which one, I thought that was nice. I can understand you being a bit surprised at someone turning up on your door but he may just have been being friendly, hopefully you were unfriendly enough to put him off doing it again if you don't want to be his friend. I wouldn't complain unless it happens again.

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