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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To continue to live in social housing

140 replies

dealer · 17/04/2011 15:10

Think I probably am unreasonable, but also think I'd be crazy to do anything else.

I have been previously in severe need, hence why I'm in social housing at all. I now work full time, self-employed, earning approx 17k per year, dh earns 6k part time, and also is doing an ou degree. This means that while we are by no means living in luxury, we could in theory support ourselves in private rental. Obviously we're nowhere near being able to buy.

Our rent is about half what it would be on the open market. If we moved, we would definitely have to move to a cheaper area, which would be doable for work, but the children would have to change schools. The social housing that we live in is just one row on the edge of a private estate, so few social problems compared to large city estates. The areas that we might be able to afford to live in have much higher levels of problems. These are areas that I would happily have accepted a house in, when desperate, but now I feel I'd be stupid to move my 3 settled dcs there with the added risks involved.

With my rent doubling, we would have to get rid of 1 car. We have 2 because I have to drive for up to 10 hours per day for my work. Therefore dh would have to go without. He works in the more expensive area so would have to use public transport to get in, he does shift work, so not sure how feasible that would be. I would probably have to collect him at midnight a lot. With having to change all 3 schools (secondary, primary and nursery) I suspect their travel arrangements would be a problem too. The schools in this town are very full so they would probably end up all over the place. Of course many people manage this sort of thing all the time, but again I'd be daft to do so if not necessary.

I believe that social housing, and cheap rents should be for those in great need, as I once was, so feel I should vacate this property. However, I don't feel I would be doing my best for my children if I did so. I also don't trust the authorities to prioritise those in greatest need. I waited 5 years to be housed adequately although homeless with a young baby, while my severely disabled first husband had to live in a residential home. He was also terminally ill, and I believe that the council dragged their feet in the hope he would die before they had to house us. A friend of mine was housed within 6 weeks because they classed her as overcrowded because there were 4 generations living together. They were living in an enormous 5-bed house with seperate annexe.

So AIBU to stay in this very cheap house, 10 mins walk from the beach, which saves us at least £5000 a year?

OP posts:
Firawla · 17/04/2011 15:36

At 17k per year i would have thought it will be quite hard to rent privately, depending where you are but definitely in london i cant imagine how you could rent anywhere realistic for a family for that amount, knowing how high the rents are so i would just stay where you are, i don't think you have anything to feel too bad about its not like you are on 100k a year and still using the social housing, its not a huge income and you have been given the chance to rent that house previously so use it as you still need it

SequinsAndSparkles · 17/04/2011 15:38

No, but theoretically you could be offered something. I worked with a woman who put her name down when she was 20, single, at university...at the age of 27 she was offered a 2 bedroom flat. Despite being single, good income etc. Obviously, you could be waiting a long time, but in theory it could happen.

FabbyChic · 17/04/2011 15:39

You could even use it to get on the propery ladder and use the the right to buy scheme.

dealer · 17/04/2011 15:40

So nobody thinks it's wrong that I get a permanent legup for falling pregnant at 19, and relying on state help at the time? We still get state help in the form of tax credits.

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 17/04/2011 15:41

Yes I think it's terrible dealer, set yourself on fire now.

dealer · 17/04/2011 15:42

Don't think we've got the right to buy with our housing association.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 17/04/2011 15:43

dealer ..is this a new take on benefit bashing?

worraliberty · 17/04/2011 15:43

Would you rather you and your child were sent to the workhouse?

EricNorthmansMistress · 17/04/2011 15:44

Get over yourself! Swap with me if you want, I pay £800 a month for my place.

dealer · 17/04/2011 15:45

Alright, I'll stop self-flagellating now. Just astonished that people aren't against this, if not me specifically then the system which encourages this.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 17/04/2011 15:45

YOU aren't being rewarded for being irresponsible - your CHILDREN are being supported by the state to help them live in a stable, safe and healthy home. Yes you could move out - but plainly your children would be disadvantaged by that. Your income isn't huge, you've obviously worked harda nd done well. Enjoy your home and resist your impulse to martyr yourself - because actually it would be your kids who would suffer most.

IAmTheCookieMonster · 17/04/2011 15:45

Its a bidding scheme now so its easier for people with low priority to get in. They built some flats near us and we bidded on the top two floors (4 floors) as less people wanted them. They didn't put on the description that that company don't put babies above the first floor so we wasted two bids and people three bands below us got them!

We only got housed when I rang up in tears about constantly missing out to people with lower priority and she told us which one to bid for.

dealer · 17/04/2011 15:46

Name changed and everything.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 17/04/2011 15:46

Did you want lots of sense of entitlement posts ?

mamatomany · 17/04/2011 15:46

YANBU - you don't earn enough yet to have a years rent in savings which is what I would want before I moved anywhere tbh.

IAmTheCookieMonster · 17/04/2011 15:48

Dealer, if you were earning 70k I might grumble, but 23k isn't living in luxury. 5K is a quarter of your income and a lot to lose along with the massive inconvenience. Your children need security, which this housing is meant to and does provide you with.

We are in social housing too and I am going to start working full time from september, we have no intention of moving out into an uncertain and expensive arena.

RitaMorgan · 17/04/2011 15:48

A system which encourages what? Stable, not-for-profit housing?

The only issue I had is that we should have masses more social housing in this country.

mamatomany · 17/04/2011 15:50

The people I despise are the ones that keep council properties so that they can countinue claiming benefits from that address or as somebody behind me on the bus announced last week she was keeping her 3 bedroomed council house in case things don't work out with the new boyfriend.
FFS move him in with you then, don't leave that property empty.

felicity10 · 17/04/2011 15:55

How I wish there were more people like you! However, don't rush, you're doing brilliantly getting on your feet, but your salary is still tight for private rentals. If only other people saw it as a stepping stone rather than a permanent right! Good luck.

PlopPlopPing · 17/04/2011 15:56

You should stay there until you are more financially stable and can afford to buy or whatever it is you want to do.

PeachyAndTheArghoNauts · 17/04/2011 15:56

Is it a reward for getting preggers at a young age or is the fact that you ahve a bit of cash left over now a reward for getting back up despite a rough start?

Works both ways, no?

Don't get me wrong- would kill for a nicely located secure tenancy (couple of disabled kids but don't want to leave this community if we can keep the private rent paid), but not expecting anyone to throw themselves on the fire in order for us to get that! Besides that's really not a high wage, not at all.

dealer · 17/04/2011 15:57

Can we please ignore the fact that I'm sounding like a martyr? That's not the intention, but I'm finding it impossible to sound my opinion without sounding like that.

I am significantly better off than friends who went through uni, have professional qualifications, but only earn a little more than me. They struggle in low quality cramped housing in dodgy areas. I do an unskilled job, and yes I do have a year's rent saved.

OP posts:
jester68 · 17/04/2011 15:57

No you should not move out. I got my property when I was 21 with a 9 month old baby and evicted from a private rental property (did nothing wrong by the way- they wanted it back for there adult daughter to live in).

I had lived there with my mum for around 4 years. My partner still lived with his dad. I was unable to work due to health reasons, he was on the minium wage.

I had to move into temp accommodation for 5 months before we were offered this property.

We have done it up (most redocarated throught though still have our room to do) ,smartened up the garden etc.

Our earnings this tax year was under 23.000.

We pay full rent and council tax.

If we went to private we would have to find another 2-300 a month.

You are entitled to live in your house x

PeachyAndTheArghoNauts · 17/04/2011 15:58

True mama but I confess to advising my mate to slow things down before moving in with ehr new fiance (mind shes only known him about 2 months) becuase she won't get another council house and her ex bankrupted them both before getting himself jailed and skipping parole so no private housing for her.

PeachyAndTheArghoNauts · 17/04/2011 16:00

At teh rent given higher up, a year's rent stil puts you under the maximum savings limiot for housing benefit by soem mileage, did you know that?

give it a few yeras, and then look at some form of secure hosuing- shared ownership etc.

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